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To help live or let die (Terri & Michael Schiavo's marriage)
Townhall.com ^ | March 23, 2005 | Kathleen Parker

Posted on 03/23/2005 9:54:43 AM PST by OESY

When is a husband not a husband? That's the question that keeps scratching at the back door of the hospice where Terri Schiavo lay slowly dying of starvation through the weekend.

Whatever happens to her now, following an emergency bill early Monday that allowed Schiavo's parents to ask a federal judge to reinsert their daughter's feeding tube, the saga of Terri Schiavo has forced the nation to ask some tough questions.

We can argue endlessly about whether Schiavo's existence passes our own personal muster for "quality of life," and argue we should. What bitter decision is this, to let a woman die? What question more deserving of our sweat and tears?

But the fact that Schiavo's fate has rested in the hands of a man who is her husband in title only is both mystifying and maddening. If we resolve nothing else, some of our energy will be well spent examining the criteria used to determine who is best qualified to protect a disabled person's interests.

Michael Schiavo, who was Terri Schiavo's husband when she suffered a heart attack and severe brain damage 15 years ago, today lives with another woman with whom he has had two children. Except that he has never sought a divorce from Terri - and therefore by law has final say over her life - he is by no normal definition her "husband."

Put another way, we can safely bet that if Terri Schiavo were aware that her husband was parking his shoes under another woman's dust ruffle, she likely would declare her marriage kaput. That Michael Schiavo still has authority to end her life, or "let her die" as we prefer to call it, adds injury to the insult that has become her existence.

Giving the devil his due, Michael Schiavo began fighting this nightmarish battle long ago, insisting that his wife would prefer to die than live in the vegetative state that is her life. He claims she told him as much, though in the absence of witnesses or any written document, who knows? One needn't be a cynic to observe that husbands and wives do not always act in the best interests of their spouses.

The question - why won't Schiavo divorce his wife and let her parents care for her as they have requested? - has no satisfactory answer. Schiavo claims he persists in seeking Terri's demise out of respect for her wishes and to end her suffering. He insists that he stands to gain nothing from her death, noting that there is no life insurance policy.

Instead, he has alleged that Terri's parents, Bob and Mary Schindler, are motivated by interest in money from a medical malpractice suit that awarded the Schiavos $1.2 million more than 10 years ago, most of which, Schiavo claims, has been spent on rehabilitation for his wife.

The enmity between Michael Schiavo and the Schindlers is no secret. There are enough disagreements between the two families to keep therapists in Volvos for decades. Terri Schiavo might remove the feeding tube herself were she aware of the many peripheral dramas attendant to her fate.

Even granting Michael Schiavo the benefit of the doubt, however, his insistence that Terri be starved to death when her parents want to care for her borders on the bizarre. Speaking as a parent, imagining some future spouse trying to arrange my child's death puts me in mind of a mama grizzly, whose company would be far preferable to mine should the little outlaw prevail. (Note to self: Clip column for rehearsal dinner toast).

Terri Schiavo's life surely is not what any of us would choose, but it is life - of a sort. She breathes on her own, opens her eyes, responds to stimulation, seems to smile at her mother, makes noises in response to others' voices. Is this a life worth living? I don't know, but it is living, whereas withholding sustenance surely guarantees the opposite.

The fact that the nation has become unhinged over these proceedings is a source of some solace. We should find "letting die" troublesome.

There may be no miracles this week for Terri Schiavo, not least of which would be her husband's overdue granting of a divorce. But the rest of us could do worse when in doubt to err on the side of life. It is short enough - and miserable at times like these - without our help.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; US: Florida
KEYWORDS: divorce; marriage; righttolife; schiavo; schindler; starvation; terri; terrischiavo
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1 posted on 03/23/2005 9:54:47 AM PST by OESY
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To: Senator Kunte Klinte; pookie18

2 posted on 03/23/2005 9:56:54 AM PST by OESY
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To: OESY
I've been giving this matter quite a bit of thought.

If M. Schiavo is Catholic, he doesn't want a divorce because then he won't be able to marry in the Catholic church.

Right now, his children are "bastard" children in the eyes of the Catholic church; if he becomes a "widower" then he can remarry, and his children will be able to receive confirmation, etc. as Catholics.

Seems to me that even my thoughts are flawed as I try to understand why any sane, rational person would want to MURDER anyone like this. I can't wrap my brains around this one.
3 posted on 03/23/2005 9:59:51 AM PST by Smarti Pants (~This American Patriot will never forget !!!~)
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Comment #4 Removed by Moderator

To: Smarti Pants
If he was the cause of her "disability" in the first place, he would be ridding himself of the only witness.

Is that rational enough?

5 posted on 03/23/2005 10:01:23 AM PST by Nachum ( "Let everyone get a move on and take some hilltops! Whatever we take, will be ours- Ariel Sharon)
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To: Smarti Pants

"Right now, his children are "bastard" children in the eyes of the Catholic church; if he becomes a "widower" then he can remarry, and his children will be able to receive confirmation, etc. as Catholics."

"Bastard" children are still allowed to be baptized and receive the sacraments. The sins of the "father" do not fall on the children.


6 posted on 03/23/2005 10:05:21 AM PST by AngieGOP (I never met a woman who became a stripper because she played with Barbie dolls as a kid.)
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To: kjenerette

...reading.


7 posted on 03/23/2005 10:07:21 AM PST by Van Jenerette (Our Republic - If We Can Keep it!)
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To: OESY

Michael says he wants to end Terri's suffering but then claims she has no awareness. If my husband were in Terri's condition, no matter how much I might not like his parents, I would never treat them the way Michael is treating his in-laws. I know my husband loves his family and wouldn't want me to abuse them. If he truly loved her, he wouldn't destroy them as he is. He is a liar!


8 posted on 03/23/2005 10:07:23 AM PST by 1Peter3v14
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To: Smarti Pants

I think Michael is a Protestant.

The Shindlers and Terri are Catholic.

Michael has requested, and Judge Greer has granted, Michael's request that Terri be cremated immediately upon her death, against the wishes of her parents, and with no autopsy.

To me, that raises lots of disturbing questions, but then there are so many questions about this case that, it appears, will never be answered.


9 posted on 03/23/2005 10:07:52 AM PST by Texas Deb
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To: Nachum
Tell you what, I heard clips on Savage last night of a nurse who attended Terri & who was subsequently fired for what appears to be doing her job well.

She spoke of things M. Schiavo said & has done over the years. I don't know how much is true - with all these rumors running rampant, it's hard to weed out fact from fiction - but it's enough to give one cause to think, doesn't it?
10 posted on 03/23/2005 10:08:07 AM PST by Smarti Pants (~This American Patriot will never forget !!!~)
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To: OESY

Could the parents (or her attorney), under Florida law, seek a divorce for Terri? Surely this is abandonment, living and creating children with another. If so, why haven't they?


11 posted on 03/23/2005 10:09:29 AM PST by pa mom
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To: AngieGOP
The children not being "bastards" is new to me; I am not Catholic today because my grandparents were married outside of the church and their children weren't allowed to be part of the church because they were bastards.

This is going back to the late 1800's, early 1900's, now - my father was born in 1928 as the youngest of 7 or 8 I think.
12 posted on 03/23/2005 10:11:16 AM PST by Smarti Pants (~This American Patriot will never forget !!!~)
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To: steenkeenbadges
"This is like what happened during the Holocaust - silence from the Vatican."

Get a grip. She is brain dead. A broccoli.

13 posted on 03/23/2005 10:12:21 AM PST by Mr_Peter
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To: Nachum
Will he be able to prevent a autopsy? As the person with the sole power over her life or death he might be too much of an "interested party", especially given some of the accusations that the nurses are making, to prevent a postmortem autopsy...
14 posted on 03/23/2005 10:13:17 AM PST by RedEyeJack
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To: Mr_Peter
Mr. Peter - this is the thing that is soooooooo scary!! IS Terry REALLY brain dead???

She responds to touch, they say she can speak (or could), the videos certainly suggest that maybe she doesn't have an I.Q. of 180, but there are lights on in there!
15 posted on 03/23/2005 10:14:30 AM PST by Smarti Pants (~This American Patriot will never forget !!!~)
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To: Smarti Pants

"I am not Catholic today because my grandparents were married outside of the church and their children weren't allowed to be part of the church because they were bastards."

Thankfully, things have changed since then. My husband's neice had a her out of wedlock children baptized as Catholics as a friend of my daughter did with her child. Schiavo is just a murderous s.o.b. He will get his.


16 posted on 03/23/2005 10:16:13 AM PST by AngieGOP (I never met a woman who became a stripper because she played with Barbie dolls as a kid.)
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To: Mr_Peter
Get a grip. She is brain dead. A broccoli.

Not brain dead. And Broccoli is the guy who made Live and Let Die. Don't confuse things.

17 posted on 03/23/2005 10:16:36 AM PST by Rokurota (.)
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To: pa mom
RIGHT!! I agree. Like the article suggests: when is a marriage over?

Michael has obviously gone on with his life. He has a new family. Shouldn't he let go of the old life? I don't know why he doesn't just let go & tell the parents, fine, you can have her! Let me OUTTA here!!

Unless, as others suggest, something else is at stake. It just makes no sense.
18 posted on 03/23/2005 10:17:08 AM PST by Smarti Pants (~This American Patriot will never forget !!!~)
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To: 1Peter3v14
He is a liar!

That may be, but he is the legal guardian/husband. Now his behaviour may not describe husband to most of us but it is what he is. Therefore, the courts will and consistently have decided that he is the one that gets to make the decision. Period.

If you think you daughter is married to a bastard, then have her fill out a living will. If that not be the case then the rest of us should bow out of this mans decision. He's not breaking any laws. Conservative is not, nor should it be a convenient belief system.

19 posted on 03/23/2005 10:17:14 AM PST by vikzilla (I don't want to be a part of your life)
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To: Smarti Pants
GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!

We can all do what is needed to save Terri!

Terri needs water.

Who is going to take it to her?

An American Expat in Southeast Asia

20 posted on 03/23/2005 10:17:29 AM PST by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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