Posted on 03/19/2005 8:17:19 AM PST by RobFromGa
[World News]: MOSCOW, March 18 : Monkeys went on a hunger strike in a Russian zoo because handlers were not satisfying an addiction for onions.
The animals, housed in the village zoo at Bolsherechye in the Omsk region, refused to eat bananas, kiwis and papayas.Three hamadryads are said to be responsible for the protest action and other monkeys had to obey them, Novosti reported Friday.
According to zoo researcher Svetlana Balavatskaya, monkeys took to onions in winter when zoo workers fed them to the monkeys to keep them from contracting flu from visitors.
The zoologists missed the moment when the monkeys became onion addicts.
Usually hamadryads carefully peel an onion, thoroughly examine it and then put it into the mouth whereupon the onions brought tears to their eyes.
At first I thought the title said:
"Monkeys on hunger strike, want unions".
which would have made sense, assuming they were
exploited lab animals (which they are in sense,
being in a zoo)/ then I saw it was in Russia,
the worker's paradise, which has no need for unions,
(sic), so it made no sense, then finally I assumed it
was exploited monkey chefs, who are forced to cook
with mediocre and limited produce, and clamor for
ONIONS because they've been watching The Food Network.
I;m so confused.
"Onions are a gateway vegetable, they always lead to more dangerous vegetables."
You're sooooooo right. Monkeys start snorting onions, next thing you know they're shooting up squash!
Barry and Kramer
/funny episode all around
KRAMER: Yes.
MR. PLESS: Thanks for coming.
KRAMER: So, uh, what did you want to see me about?
MR. PLESS: Well, Mr. Kramer, to get right to it, we're having a bit of a problem with Barry.
KRAMER: Barry?
MR. PLESS: The chimpanzee.
KRAMER: Oh. Well, uh, what's the problem?
MR. PLESS: Well, he's not functioning the way he normally does. He seems depressed. He's lost his appetite. He's even curtailed his autoerotic activities. And we think this is directly related to the altercation he had with you the other day.
KRAMER: So, so what do you want me to do? )
MR. PLESS: Well, frankly we'd like you to apologize.
KRAMER: Yeah, well he started it.
MR. PLESS: Mr. Kramer, he is an innocent primate.
KRAMER: So am I. What about my feelings? Don't my feelings count for anything? Oh, only the poor monkey's important. Everything has to be done for the monkey!
Oh now I've got to get me that book!
LOL
Oh, so that's what it's call now.
Vidaliaholics?
"This is a tragic story"It certainly is.Has anyone called PETA?
To flame or not to flame, that is the question.
This word is going to come in handy.
That's how Half-Life would have looked if Gordon Freeman had been a monkey.
If a monkey is addicted to chocolate, is he a chocaholic or a choc-ic?
All your onions are belong to us!
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