"I wonder if you have to wait 7 hours for the Cabbage pie to cool down to a mortal mans heat tolerance."
LOL! I've always wondered why there hasn't been a lawsuit over those lava-filled fruit pies they used to sell. (Do they still sell them?) Great Googly Moogly, you could've heated an entire home on the heat put out by one of those pie-things. Ouch!
If I could only break my addiction to the Filet-o-Fish, I would be Home Free...alas, I am weak. They are so good, and yet so bad for me. (Kinda like my current husband, LOL!)
I can help you with the filet-o-fish. If you look close, you may see a couple white worms wigglin around. Plus, you can use the tartar sauce to seal postage. Also, the fat and calories aren't worth it. Acutally, the most nutritional thing might be the worms. Thank me. :)
It's not lava, it's stellar-fusion-plasma-filled. And yes, they still sell them.
The reason they haven't been sued is that when they're seen to burn a hole in the bag or the tray on the way to and through the floor and the inevitable trip through the Earth's core on the way to China, nobody is stupid enough to eat them until they cool off. And they've always had the eternal McD's understatement in labelling champion on them: "CAUTION: HOT."