Posted on 03/15/2005 4:51:28 PM PST by peeseispossible
Dang!! "This account has been banned or suspended.
Okay" -- I had visions ;)
....within the hour.
baw baw baw baw du dang de dang dang da ding da dong ding
Red Goon !!
LOL
(Note to self). Remember not to the be the first one to respond to a troll that going to get nuked.
yeah, it's not the Patriot act that's causing the zotting in this case
LMAO... yah, it's good to be #3.
The Cheese Shop by Monty Python
(a customer walks in the door)
Customer: Good Morning.
Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!
Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.
Owner: What can I do for you, Sir?
Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.
Owner: Peckish, sir?
Customer: Esuriant.
Owner: Eh?
Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike!
Owner: Ah, hungry!
Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!
Owner: Come again?
Customer: I want to buy some cheese.
Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!
Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!
Owner: Sorry?
Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!
Owner: So he can go on playing, can he?
Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.
Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?
Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.
Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.
Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?
Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.
Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.
Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.
Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?
Owner: Sorry, sir.
Customer: Red Windsor?
Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.
Customer: Ah. Stilton?
Owner: Sorry.
Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?
Owner: No.
Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.
Owner: No.
Customer: Lipta?
Owner: No.
Customer: Lancashire?
Owner: No.
Customer: White Stilton?
Owner: No.
Customer: Danish Brew?
Owner: No.
Customer: Double Goucester?
Owner: (pause) No.
Customer: Cheshire?
Owner: No.
Customer: Dorset Bluveny?
Owner: No.
Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?
Owner: No.
Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?
Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.
Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.
Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...
Customer: Oh, I like it runny.
Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.
Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!
Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
Customer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
Owner: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)
Customer: What now?
Owner: The cat's eaten it.
Customer: (pause) Has he.
Owner: She, sir.
Customer: (pause) Gouda?
Owner: No.
Customer: Edam?
Owner: No.
Customer: Case Ness?
Owner: No.
Customer: Smoked Austrian?
Owner: No.
Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?
Owner: No, sir.
Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?
Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--
Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
Owner: Fair enough.
Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.
Owner: Yes?
Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!
Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.
Customer: (pause) Greek Feta?
Owner: Uh, not as such.
Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?
Owner: No.
Customer: Parmesan,
Owner: No.
Customer: Mozarella,
Owner: No.
Customer: Paper Cramer,
Owner: No.
Customer: Danish Bimbo,
Owner: No.
Customer: Czech sheep's milk,
Owner: No.
Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
Owner: Not *today*, sir, no.
Customer: (pause) Aah, how about Cheddar?
Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.
Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world!
Owner: Not 'round here, sir.
Customer: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?
Owner: 'Illchester, sir.
Customer: IS it.
Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.
Customer: Is it.
Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir!
Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?
Owner: Right, sir.
Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.
Owner: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
Owner: Finest in the district!
Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir!
Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....
Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.
Customer: Would it be worth it?
Owner: Could be....
Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!
Owner: Told you sir....
Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?
Owner: No.
Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
Owner: Yessir?
Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.
Owner: Yes, sir.
Customer: Really?
(pause)
Owner: No. Not really, sir.
Customer: You haven't.
Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.
Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
Owner: Right-Oh, sir.
(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner)
Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.
"I was told I could be detained indefinitely without arraignment."
Yes Mr/Ms Peeseispossible, this is true, and you should be very afraid, especially as you are now dodging the draft. As we all know President Bush had a secret plan to reinstate the draft immediately after the election. I am sure you are also aware that he has now secretly reinstated the draft, and therefore you can now be secretly imprisoned for evading it.
Having all the secret and special knowledge that you do is a dangerous thing. It is important for you to remember that it's not paranoia if President Bush is secretly out to get you.
Perhaps you might denounce Senator Kerry for his acknowledged war crimes.
LOL! I knew I'd get in trouble if I didn't finish the second grade!
LOL - Sorry - but his post had been removed before I got here.
Hi.. I need to paint my wall red or the thing that lives in it will come out.
It needs to be blood.
Nothing personall ya know, but trolls are plentiful and no-one misses them.
Bye, peeseispossible."He's dead, Jim!"
Please let me know if you want ON or OFF my Viking Kitty/ZOT ping list!. . .don't be shy.
Nice Pic.
Better than the mouse with a human brain.
And your opinion on 911? Payback for our atrocities??
Are you a public school teacher??
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