Posted on 03/10/2005 2:13:48 PM PST by SwinneySwitch
If Hector David Herrera Martinez had been a better driver, he might not be facing a charge of smuggling bulk currency.
If he hadn't been traveling in a passing lane without passing any cars, if he hadn't abruptly slowed to 40 mph in a 65-mph zone, if he hadn't suddenly pulled off the road, I'm sure nobody would have noticed that stashed in his 1987 Lincoln Town Car was $283,473.
Unfortunately for Martinez, a Kimble County sheriff's deputy took notice and stopped him near Junction.
And that's when Martinez had to explain where he got the money.
Somebody, he told the officer, left it on his doorstep.
I don't know if that somebody was the tooth fairy who couldn't find Martinez's pillow.
I don't know if that somebody was Santa Claus who couldn't find the chimney.
I don't know if that somebody was the Easter Bunny who couldn't find any tall grass.
All I know is that somebody left something on the front porch around Valentine's Day, and it wasn't chocolate.
Last week, a federal grand jury in San Antonio indicted Martinez, and I really feel for the guy.
The last time somebody left a quarter of a million dollars on my doorstep, I made it all the way to the bank without getting thrown in jail. Most people do.
For some reason, though, Martinez found it difficult to calmly transport the gross national product of Bangladesh across Texas. According to the arrest report, he shook. He trembled. Now he's in the clink when he could be living large in a Third World country.
Poor guy. If only he had a little more cool. If only he didn't have so much company.
People who drive oddly draw police attention all the time. Some get stopped for making an improper turn and get busted for possession of cocaine. Others get pulled over for failing to yield, and get charged with carrying stolen goods.
Recently, officers stopped a 36-year-old man they saw going the wrong way on an I-37 access road.
Inside the 2005 Cadillac Escalade of Raul Hernandez, police found DVDs, video games and dozens of wallets and purses. Later, police found computers, printers, scanners, more DVDs and more than $69,000 at Hernandez's home. He told police he made the money by selling illegally reproduced movies.
It should be noted that police had been watching Hernandez. But they didn't pull him over until he began driving like he was nuts.
Tip to readers: If you're driving with suspicious or illegal goods, don't go the wrong way on a one-way street.
That brings me back to Martinez. He wasn't as reckless on the road as Hernandez. But Martinez did make some mistakes.
Here are some lessons to be gleaned from his arrest.
One: If you are in a passing lane with $283,473 in your car, make sure you pass another car.
Two: If an officer pulls you over and asks if he can search your vehicle, do not say "yes" when you've got more money in your trunk than your boss has in the bank.
Three: If a sheriff's deputy asks what's inside your big suitcase, do not say "presents" when there's a safe filled with $100 bills.
Four: If you are asked where you got the cash, do not say "on my doorstep" then change your mind and say "it belongs to my brother" and later sign a statement declaring that you're sticking with your first story.
That raises suspicions.
Five: If asked where you are headed, do not say "El Paso" when you're nowhere near the road that leads there.
Six: If asked where you are from, do not say "Bartlesville, Oklahoma," when you are an undocumented immigrant from Mexico.
Seven: The next time someone leaves 200 grand on your front porch, head for the bank and drive carefully. And if a car with flashing lights pulls you over, come up with a good story.
I-just-won-the-lottery is better than somebody-left-this-on-my-doorstep. It might even keep you out of jail.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To contact Ken Rodriguez, call (210) 250-3369 or e-mail krodriguez@express-news.net. His column appears on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Well, I cant say I have 250K to transfer around but I need to move cash sometimes to cover shortfalls in expected deposits.
Seriously, 8K is about where they get most suspicious these days.
Seriously though it is not difficult to move that kind of cash around. I know someone that sold some laser equipment to some guys in Greece and shipped it over there, then went over to Greece and they gave him $60K USD in cash. He put it in a briefcase and flew back to the USA.
Six: If asked where you are from, do not say "Bartlesville,
Oklahoma," when you are an undocumented immigrant
from Mexico.
Yeah, I bet any significant cash deposit results in red flags being sent to a half-dozen federal agencies. They ask for your drivers licence then fill out forms and ask you questions like what business you are in.
Yeah, but you better declare it. If you fail to declare it and they discover it, you could find your money is no longer yours. It is much better to have the money wired to your account.
The charge is bulk cash smuggling. It's a new crime; comes from the money laundering section of the patriot act.
Start a business where no one will give you terms and you have to pay COD on everything. Then score a contract with a university who orders $50,000-$75,000 a month. When you're a struggling new business, no one will give you terms.
I can't count the number of times the UPS guy had to call someone to get the cash. The biggest single truck load of CODs was $34,000. The Driver, who I knew pretty well, was shaking. It was approximately his take-home for the year. He never left the lot until the boss and two others showed up. After a while, 10,000-15,000 became routine once or twice a week. Interest expense eventually made the whole thing not worthwhile but it was interesting for a while. Your customers will only accept net-30 and your suppliers want COD, eating a month of interest on 10s of thousands sucks.
thanks
The article says they were "watching him anyway" but didn't pull him over until he started driving the wrong way on the road.
He then CONSENTED to the search.
Didn't they teach you reading comphrension in school or do you just prefer that we read the articles for you?
Or buy collectables like LLadro figurines and coins, parcelled out over a long time period. Let your paycheck go where it goes and invest and live on cash. Convert $100 bills at the Vegas crap tables. One at a time, without winning too big.
Sounds reasonable. Although I think the "Mexican" option sounds more fun...
It always amazes me when the idiot libertarians that are the liberals and terrorists closest allies read a story like this and wonder not what criminal activity this clown was engaged in to have this sum of money, but how the poor illegal alien who does not belong here in the first place may have had rights violated that he should not have for entering this country ILLEGALLY.
The "Mexican Option" sounds reasonable. Store $50K and find a broker that will put the rest in S&P Futures with a 10% comission. Save the slip. Come back when it's up. Xfer into a money market account and get checks drawn on it. Deplete that account while your reg paycheck gets invested. The women you meet will love the Lladro figurines you invested in along with your housing and bedroom skills:) Keep your secret money in a bank's lock-box. For spending later.
Is it a crime to have money?
Are you an Asian dude? I'm thinking like one, I assume. Just to be on the same approach to arrange money.
I'm Texan, of German-Scottish ancestry. Sorry!
It is a crime to not understand money when it falls in your lap unexpectedly.
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