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Nice jeans. But should you really wear them to the opera?
The Christian Science Monitor ^ | 3/9/05 | Kim Campell

Posted on 03/09/2005 9:47:25 AM PST by qam1

NEW YORK – They've been part of the American "uniform" for years, worn to casual restaurants, house parties, and some workplaces.

But as jeans become more expensive, they are also becoming more ubiquitous, showing up everywhere from Midwestern churches to Broadway shows. Nothing is off limits, it seems. Or is it? Among those who buy high-priced, designer denim or who simply don jeans frequently - there's debate about where it's appropriate to wear them.

The tug of war over jeans etiquette is particularly prevalent in New York City. Here, people tend to be more creative about their appearance, and are often more demanding about how fashion-conscious people should look, says Dannielle Romano, editor at large for DailyCandy.com, a fashion and trends website.

Many 20- and 30-somethings here have theater backgrounds, for example, and often say it's inappropriate to wear jeans to theater and other cultural performances out of respect for the performers and the surroundings (even though the venues themselves have no official dress codes).

"I am all in favor of the current denim revolution that we are having, but I do feel that there are times when jeans should be left at home," says Lisa Kerson, a jewelry designer in her early 30s, whose parents insisted that she look nice when going to a play or traveling on a plane. "I still get bothered when I see people wearing jeans to the theater, ballet, opera, etc.," she says in an e-mail.

Melissa Popiel also prefers not to see denim at the theater, or at an engagement party. To her, jeans are OK for a house party or a casual dinner, but not for traditionally dressy places. "I don't like going to cocktail parties and seeing people in jeans," says the advertising executive, who's in her late 20s.

Ms. Popiel estimates she owns about 15 to 20 pairs, including premium brands, and has paid as much as $200 for a pair.

Many others are also paying big bucks for their jeans - from $150 to $1,000 or more per pair. Celebrities, in particular, are making jeans their garb of choice for appearances on talk shows and at some red-carpet events.

That, say fashion experts, sets the tone for the masses, who are encouraged by features like one in the Jan. 24 edition of Us magazine, "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Jeans," complete with suggestions for buying "premium" denim ($140 or more).

The concept of designer jeans is not new, however. They were also hot in the 1970s and 80s.

Are these jeans made for parties?

Etiquette experts offer few hard and fast rules about jeans, but among them are the obvious: Leave them in the closet when you're attending a wedding, or if your workplace bans them.

"A lot of it has to do with the appropriateness of the kind of jean you're wearing," says Peter Post, grandson of manners maven Emily Post and author of the book "Essential Manners for Men."

It comes down to determining if the jeans are for fashion or work. A pair that you do yard work in, for example, are "probably not appropriate to be wearing to a restaurant that night," he explains.

Mr. Post has seen men show up in quality restaurants wearing denim, which doesn't bother him as much as how sloppy their appearance sometimes is.He recalls seeing a man dressed in a T-shirt and old rumpled jeans. "He hadn't taken any care to step it up just a notch, to say to the woman he was with, 'You know, you're really important to me. I want to look good. I want you to look at me and be proud of me,' " he says.

Dark denim is making it easier for men to comfortably wear jeans in the evenings, especially since black jeans are no longer "in." But no matter how hip a certain style may be, some places are still off-limits.

"I probably won't wear them to a funeral," says Robert Smith, a 30- something businessman in Rockton, Ill. But in the past few years he's started wearing them everywhere else - to church and to most work-related functions.

Not the fabric but how it's used

The good news for jeans devotees is that standards for judging people on their appearance are loosening a bit - at least among women under 40. A recent study by Cotton Incorporated indicates that Generation X-age women (26 to 39) are less concerned about first impressions when it comes to dressing than they were 10 years ago, and more often are taking the approach that "you can't judge a book by its cover." The reverse was true for women boomer-age and older.

Alice Harris, author of the book "The Blue Jean," attributes the rise of jeans to casual Fridays in workplaces, which shifted the way people viewed dressing.

"We've actually gone back to a much simpler way of looking at it," suggests Post of the changing attitudes. It's not that certain materials, like denim, are bad. "It's what you've done with that material."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: actyourage; bluejeans; casualfridays; dresscode; fashion; genx; manners; proper; slobs; slobsarerude
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To: Melas

Well, I wasn't try to condemn you. My mother has a habit of saying "My God" but how do you correct your mother? I've done it before myself. We're all works in progress. Just don't take it lightly.


501 posted on 03/09/2005 11:52:34 PM PST by streetpreacher (The fires of hell burn hot and try to destroy me, I run to your will Oh God I know you’ll restore me)
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To: Melas; Tamar1973
You should read her profile where she says she wears muslim clothes. It made everything else make sense.

2. I prefer to wear Orthodox Jewish & Muslim clothes for modesty sake. The internet is a G-d send as far as this issue is concerned. Read 1 Corinthians 11 for HaShem's opinion on this.

Wow, thanks for bringing everything into perspective.  I have a feeling even "dressing up" for church is not good enough for Tamar.

502 posted on 03/09/2005 11:53:19 PM PST by streetpreacher (The fires of hell burn hot and try to destroy me, I run to your will Oh God I know you’ll restore me)
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To: fatima; Tamar1973

Go back and read Tamar1973's bizarre posts and you'll see why this thread got turned around.


503 posted on 03/09/2005 11:59:22 PM PST by streetpreacher (The fires of hell burn hot and try to destroy me, I run to your will Oh God I know you’ll restore me)
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To: Steve_Stifler

I don't know about you, but I don't wear clothes, or try to buck the system, because it makes me "feel good". I buy what I can afford, and I try not to waste my husband's money on frivolous things. If that means I only have a few jeans, and a pair of khakis in the closet, then I'm fine with that. I don't feel the need to conform to someone's "established standards". Please don't confuse simpler people, with simpler lives with people who "let it all hang out". lol


504 posted on 03/10/2005 12:01:12 AM PST by Chena
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To: Chena
You wouldn't have any reaction,then to some woman you know,who showed up at a picnic on a beach,in a brand new ball gown? Oh come on...that's human nature! I didn't say that you would treat her badly,or say anything untoward;just that you,as anyone else would,react to her inappropriate dress,in your mind.

You still don't get the you behave as you are dressed thing. *sigh*.

Look...some young men/boys wear jeans hanging off them and other articles of clothing, emulating criminals in prison;for that IS wear this "fashion trend" came from. White and black and Hispanic and Asian...I don't care which race, you take that boy out of those clothes and put him in something 1)that fits 2) doesn't make him look like he just got out of jail or is just going into one and his behavior will change.

As to what Jesus would look like and wear,when HE comes back, it's dollars to donuts,that HE isn't going to look like a painting or a statue of HIM at all. But if HE come back dressed like a gangsta rapper,I'll be very surprised.

505 posted on 03/10/2005 12:03:08 AM PST by nopardons
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To: fatima
Okay,I won't ask.

Because some people here refuse to ever stick to a thread's topic and can't seem to refrain from riding their own personal hobby horses. If they want to talk about religion,they should stick to FR's religion forum and leaved regular threads alone. *sigh*

506 posted on 03/10/2005 12:05:59 AM PST by nopardons
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To: Tamar1973

"If it's a Sabbath/Sunday morning meeting, yes. If it's a meeting outside of church, like a church potluck, beach weekend, camp out, etc., No."

How can their be a meeting OF the church OUTSIDE the church? The building is not the church; the building is just a place where the church meets. And God stopped dwelling in a physical temple when the veil was torn.

2 Cor 6:16
6 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
(from New International Version)


507 posted on 03/10/2005 12:07:01 AM PST by streetpreacher (The fires of hell burn hot and try to destroy me, I run to your will Oh God I know you’ll restore me)
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To: ladyinred

LOL! It would sure be interesting where I live to see some of these women come up here and live in the bush Interior of Alaska. Fancy clothes and even simple dresses are not the "standards" here. Gosh, I think I look pretty good in my insulated jeans, a nice (but older) sweater, and some earrings. If you go into town in a dress, everyone you meet will ask you why you're all dressed up. They figure something's going on that no one told them about. LOL I was mentioning that to someone on this thread earlier....that I'd sure like to see them wear a dress when it's -50. We had quite a long spell this winter of brutal cold. -70 for awhile there. Ah, I guess it's just a matter of perspective. But I'd like to think I'd be welcome at some theater in the lower 48 even if I didn't have the nicer cloths to wear.


508 posted on 03/10/2005 12:08:09 AM PST by Chena
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To: nopardons

Isn't that just like the Johnny Come Latelies? Show up and start dictating the rules of what can and cannot be posted. Hey, God! You go sit in the corner; this is a regular thread for regular people and You're just one of them religious nutjobs!


509 posted on 03/10/2005 12:10:19 AM PST by streetpreacher (The fires of hell burn hot and try to destroy me, I run to your will Oh God I know you’ll restore me)
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To: streetpreacher

streetpreacher,Wish I could,maybe in a few days.


510 posted on 03/10/2005 12:10:34 AM PST by fatima (darkwing104 ,Happy retirement)
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To: nopardons

Do you go to opera?My son and neice and friends go durning day-they wear Jeans.


511 posted on 03/10/2005 12:14:43 AM PST by fatima (darkwing104 ,Happy retirement)
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To: nopardons

Of course I'd wonder about some woman in a ball gown at a picnic on the beach. But I wouldn't assume she's some sort of nut, even if she really was. Knowing me I'd be looking for the rest of the wedding party. LOL

Listen, I can't believe you really don't understand what my point was. I became more passionate in this discussion when it turned to people putting down others, questioning their respect and faith in God, etc., just because they chose to church in jeans or casual attire. One gal on this thread actually came out and insulted someone's church, their preacher, their entire congregation because everyone in their church dresses casually. I mean, come on!

As for wearing jeans to the Opera. If there isn't a dress code, and someone can afford the ticket to go, and chooses to go, why should that person have to be concerned about offending you because they didn't dress up enough?

And no, I don't think the clothes make the man, so to speak. So many kids go through a phase with their styles. And I don't believe putting some troubled young man into some finer clothes is going to cure what's ailing him. However, opening your hearts and mind, and your church to him (even if he's wearing jeans...gasp), you might be doing the Lord's work.


512 posted on 03/10/2005 12:18:21 AM PST by Chena
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To: streetpreacher
Projection is a disease or complex,which can be cured...go get some help!

Not only have I been on this thread much earlier than you,I've also been on FR far longer. You're delusional and part of the problem...someone who helped to high-jack this thread.

513 posted on 03/10/2005 12:22:24 AM PST by nopardons
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To: Logophile
And the whole "I just want to be comfortable" mantra doesn't resonate with me; clothes that fit are comfortable clothes

Not necessarily. A surprisingly large number of people are hypersensitive to certain fabrics and textures. The medical term for it is "tactile defensiveness", which seems to be a misnomer to me; "tactile hypersensitivity" would be a more accurate term for it.

It is often associated with ADHD, Asperger's etc, and some autistic kids have it *really bad*. However, ADHD and mild-Asperger types are far more numerous in the population, and when we say that certain clothes, certain fabrics, etc, just don't feel right on our skin, we are NOT KIDDING. For those of us who have this condition, clothes that are made of certain fabrics are just torment to wear, even if they "fit" perfectly.

As it happens, by perverse fate, in our culture most of the "formal" clothes just so happen to be the most uncomfortable, so we are often accused of "dressing down" for some ideological motive, or due to just plain laziness, when we are actually driven to make our clothing choices by purely physical, neurological considerations instead. If things were reversed -- if jeans, soft flannels, etc, were considered "formal", we'd be accused of being "hoity-toity" for dressing "UP" all the time!

514 posted on 03/10/2005 12:22:30 AM PST by Rytwyng (we're here, we're Huguenots, get used to us)
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To: fatima

I go,but not to matinees and NOT wearing jeans.


515 posted on 03/10/2005 12:23:18 AM PST by nopardons
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To: Xenalyte
It is NEVER appropriate to wear jeans to a church service

Show me where in the Bible it says that.

516 posted on 03/10/2005 12:26:21 AM PST by Rytwyng (we're here, we're Huguenots, get used to us)
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To: nopardons; streetpreacher

I didn't know "streetpreacher" was here earlier. I do believe this thread has been going on since before noon (Alaska time). I didn't recall seeing him until late this evening. Perhaps I'm wrong. And I don't think anyone really "hijacked" this thread. Sometimes in conversations such as these, people bring up different points that lead to others. I mean, come on, how long can someone possibly talk about the Opera and jeans anyhow. LOL


517 posted on 03/10/2005 12:28:39 AM PST by Chena
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To: nopardons

In Philly they have discount whatever for young people.If I pay to see someome then I dress with respect but I did not read this thread.Love you much,fatima


518 posted on 03/10/2005 12:29:52 AM PST by fatima (darkwing104 ,Happy retirement)
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To: nopardons

"Not only have I been on this thread much earlier than you,I've also been on FR far longer."

My goodness, that's wonderful. Now a test to see who's been on this thread longest, followed by, who's been on FR longer. wink wink....giggle giggle


519 posted on 03/10/2005 12:31:01 AM PST by Chena
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To: Chena
Okay,I give up! YOU WIN. You won't even give any other argument a look see,with an open mind and are complaining to me,about what others have posted. GOOD NIGHT NURSE!!!!!!!!!

Go ahead...wear pajamas to church;wear nothing at all if that's what you want to do. Wear a scuba suit to the opera and only a bra and underpants to the next football or baseball game you attend.But don't high-jack threads and don't expect that others won't judge you. You can call it petty all you care to,but what's REALLY "petty" is to 1)reply to me as you have done,talking about other people's posts 2)degrading our culture/civilization by dressing inappropriately 3) and claiming to NOT "judged others"when you've been on of THE most judgmental people on this thread.

520 posted on 03/10/2005 12:32:11 AM PST by nopardons
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