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To: uncleshag

Can only dream. To many lookers today.


1,074 posted on 03/05/2005 11:26:06 AM PST by cedarswingman (Your Freedom has been Chiseled in Stone)
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub; Arrowhead1952; AZamericonnie; beachn4fun; bentfeather; Bethbg79; ...
Gemini, you're in trouble again!


Humorscope
Saturday, March 5, 2005


 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Good time to go into business making measuring spoons. Good ones to start with would be a "smidgeon" and a "pinch."

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Good day to use nautical terms in ordinary situations, and to refer to the different sides of your building as "port" and "starboard."

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You'll feel a little tired and run down, today. Just a hunch, but that could explain those tire tracks on your shirt, as well...

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

You will spend the day attempting to rest, but whenever you fall asleep you'll return to the same nightmare of being transformed into a chihuahua, and will wake, screaming (in a very high-pitched, whiny, and annoying sort of way).

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Today you will overhear people talking about you, and realize that you're an incredible bore who nobody likes. Go to the library and ask the librarian for advice.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Deny everything.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Time to throw down the gauntlet. Or, if you can't find a gauntlet, a ski mitten will do. Just make sure you throw it down. (That's one heck of a lot more fun than throwing it up.)

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Another excellent day to whittle.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Ever had one of those times when you ask someone "What are the crunchy things in the oatmeal?" and they say "Crunchy things?" Soon, you will.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Someone will stop you today, to ask directions. Tell them to take the second star to the right, and go straight on till morning. (I personally never ask for directions, since I find it's always much more effective to find someone who looks like they know where they're going, and follow them. I also always tell people that my name is "Svlad." It's something to do.)

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Leek soup day, today. Despite your recent tendency towards shoplifting vegetables, I highly recommend you buy a leek, not take one.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Good day to introduce a bit of randomness into your life. Try getting dressed in the dark, for example (it's what I do).


1,077 posted on 03/05/2005 11:30:43 AM PST by Lady Jag (Honor)
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To: cedarswingman

As in "just looking" CUSTOMERS??

Tell 'em.!! Raise Cain with 'em.
Inform those durn wanna be customers
that they are denying you the pleasure
of walking around whacking a ball with a stick!!

That oughta motivate!!!


1,078 posted on 03/05/2005 11:31:27 AM PST by uncleshag (<<< ------------------------ >>>)
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