Good time to go into business making measuring spoons. Good ones to start with would be a "smidgeon" and a "pinch."
Good day to use nautical terms in ordinary situations, and to refer to the different sides of your building as "port" and "starboard."
You'll feel a little tired and run down, today. Just a hunch, but that could explain those tire tracks on your shirt, as well...
You will spend the day attempting to rest, but whenever you fall asleep you'll return to the same nightmare of being transformed into a chihuahua, and will wake, screaming (in a very high-pitched, whiny, and annoying sort of way).
Today you will overhear people talking about you, and realize that you're an incredible bore who nobody likes. Go to the library and ask the librarian for advice.
Deny everything.
Time to throw down the gauntlet. Or, if you can't find a gauntlet, a ski mitten will do. Just make sure you throw it down. (That's one heck of a lot more fun than throwing it up.)
Another excellent day to whittle.
Ever had one of those times when you ask someone "What are the crunchy things in the oatmeal?" and they say "Crunchy things?" Soon, you will.
Someone will stop you today, to ask directions. Tell them to take the second star to the right, and go straight on till morning. (I personally never ask for directions, since I find it's always much more effective to find someone who looks like they know where they're going, and follow them. I also always tell people that my name is "Svlad." It's something to do.)
Leek soup day, today. Despite your recent tendency towards shoplifting vegetables, I highly recommend you buy a leek, not take one.
Good day to introduce a bit of randomness into your life. Try getting dressed in the dark, for example (it's what I do). |
Seriesly??
free dixie HUGS,sw
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You'll feel a little tired and run down, today. Just a hunch, but that could explain those tire tracks on your shirt, as well...
I dunno what it is with these secretive government agencies and running down my lawn gnome. They practice in my yard all the time. Never ends. I'm out in the yard and hear "whop whop whop whop whop".. Naturally I look at my shoes to make sure I didn't step on anything before looking around.
A voice yells at me to 'get down with my hands up'.
Complete nonsense, so I ask "what?!"
Finally I notice the huge helicopter hovering over my pool.
Guy must've been looking for somewhere to go fishing or something.
He was gesticulating wildly and waving his arms frantically.
I knew what was coming next, and sure enough, an urban assault vehicle comes tearing up into my yard and thumps down my lawn gnome.
Just like last week.
I walked past a vehicle parked out in front of my house.
Guy inside it says, "He's home."
I ignored the ninjas jumping out my windows, they're always ninjas jumping out my windows for some reason, and wandered up to my front door.
As I was unlocking the door, a pest control vehicle marked 'S.W.A.T.' drives across the grass and runs down my lawn gnome.
I barely had time to get the door open to escape those vicious psychotic lawn gnome murdering pest control guys.
And today, today my lawn gnome was run down by bicycle cops.
I'm gettin' tired of burying my lawn gnomes.
They're getting tired of it too and are now complaining.