[sonofatpatcher2]

Pappy's Tree was a screenplay I wrote the first draft of in 1981. I have fiddled with it off and on over the years. I finally tuned it down to a TV Special for Christmas. In that form I posted in on Zoetrope.com in 2003. Even on that nest of liberals it got read by some and it was voted the 2nd best teleplay for the month it was listed. And to top it off, my script had someone mentioning God in a positive way, not one thirty-mile car chase and none of my character jumped in the sack for carnal knowledge.

Here is a a link to "Pappy's Tree" in .pdf (.pdf) HERE
Right click on it to open in a new window.

Here is a link to "Pappy's Tree" in a .zip file four saving and reading at your leasure (.zip) HERE
Right click to save.

I hope any here who read it enjoy it. I know it has brought me a lot of pleasure in writing and rewriting it over the past twenty odd years. And I look forward to any criticism, both pro and con.

Now, you other Freepers who have screenplays, get them linked. And if you don't write, but do cook, tell us about it.

My chili is known far and wide as Armadillo Chili. Nothing special in the making, yet I do include the trimmed hind quarter of a rabbit. When someone always ask, "Armadillo Chili?" I stir around a mite and laddle up those hind quater bones and say, "See? Road kill always makes my brew tasty!"

BTW I saw Sideways recently and it was fairly funny. Thomas Haden Church was much better than expected and I must admit a guilty pleasure in watching Sandra Oh do anything. Loved her 'Rita Wu' in "Arli$$."

I saw The Aviator when it first came out and enjoyed it very much. The style of the film, the music, the atmosphere was terrific! Cate Blanchett was super as Kate Hepburn and this was the first film where I truly enjoyed Leonardo DiCaprio acting. He was dead on 'Howard' in the Senate scenes and Alan Alda was at his top form. Martin Scorsese directing was excellent. I would vote down the line for The Aviator if I could.

Enough from me, let the Festival begin!

[buffyt]

We LOVED Sideways. We have lived in the LA area three times and we recognized all the places, like Solvang, in the movie, and we recognized restaurants we have eaten at. Fun movie. I think a really good movie last year was also Napoleon Dynamite.

[DainBramage]

WELLESLEY WENCH

An FR origianal. A fascinating tale of love, murder,intrigue, and black pantsuits!

[dakine]

No "first annual"....just not right.....

[lowbridge]

There are five stages in any actor's professional life. The first is "Who is Danny Lee?" The second is "Get me Danny Lee!" The third is "We need a Danny Lee type!" Fourth is "Where are the young Danny Lees?" And fifth and last is the "Who is Danny Lee?"

Here's the sixth stage: WHICH Danny Lee are you? There seems to be dozens listed on the IMDB.

[Vor Lady]

I don't have a screen play, although the novel I'm writing will be a great movie. It's not posted anywhere yet; still in revision. I do however, have an award winning chili recipe. Does the chili need to be bbq'd? Or is a big ol' pot sufficient?

[wizr]

I've written a bit, short stories, poems, lead in ideas and such.

Haven't published anything. If you are interested, I could send a few for review, input or flaming.

[Sender]

I thought this was funny, it's one of the world's shortest screenplay contest winners:

A Madrasi (resident of Madras India) happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing a shortest story.

The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery.

Madrasi's turn came after many attempts by others. Madrasi gave a story, which was just one sentence and read:

"O God, my wife is going to deliver a child".

Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the Madrasi whether it contained all the four ingredients. Madrasi replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:

O God: religion

my wife: sex

going to deliver a child: suspense (whether a girl or a boy)

But where is mystery?' asked one of the organizers.
The Madrasi replied: "Who is the father?"

[Sender]

I love chili con carne with a passion, and I've made quite a few potfuls over the years, some better than others but all enjoyable. I've never quite settled on an exact recipe. All you chili chefs know what I mean; chili is not a destination, it's a voyage. It's a fluid, ever-changing process that occupies hours of pure enjoyment and not a small amount of tasting in the process. Frequently I don't have to eat after making a batch; I've already had mine from the big spoon. Anyway, this is approximately the procedure I follow when making a batch of chili.

INGREDIENTS

1 pound ground or cubed animal, fresh
various cans of tomato products or fresh tomatoes
several cans of assorted beans
1 can sweet corn
dried chilis or chili sauce
1 large onion, diced
1 or 2 cloves garlic, smashed
little brown sugar or molasses
salt, pepper and fire juice to taste
1 bottle vodka
1 beer
One dollar and one dime.

PREPARATION:

Brown the fresh animal and soften the onions in a spoonful of lard, add the garlic for the last minute then drain.

Add a can of tomato sauce or crushed tomatoes, add two of the cans of beans of your choice. Taste and analyze.

Pour one ounce of vodka and drink it. Now taste the chili again. Better now. Add a pinch of salt.

Now add the prepared dried chilies or chili sauce by eye. However don't touch your eye. Good thing you didn't use the really hot ones since your wife has to eat this too...oh, you did use the really hot ones? Taste. Holy cow, that's too hot! Dilute with another can of tomatoes, try diced this time. That's better. A little more salt.

Now it's kinda thick and acidic with all the tomatoes. Thin with beer, and add a little brown sugar or molasses to take the edge off. Taste. Now we're getting somewhere! But the meat content is looking a little thin.

Brown and drain another pound of animal, add. Good.

At this point, unrestrained creativity usually kicks in even when it probably should have been restrained, since you now have a good tasting pot of chili. Hmm, this time I think I'll give it a Southwest twist with some black beans and corn. Add and taste. More salt, little fresh ground black pepper. Taste again. Taster now on reduced sensitivity.

Pour another ounce of vodka and drink. Taste again. Oh yeah, that's good. I shouldn't mess with it any more.

Teenage son comes in and informs of the unacceptable concept of corn in chili. Spend next hour carefully removing an entire can of corn, one kernel at a time. Wife informs of unacceptability of black beans in chili. Repeat kernel search-and-destroy exercise. Pour several more ounces of vodka, taste frequently. Heck, start eating the corn and black beans.

Now it's fixed, family-friendly and well-seasoned, and your taster is mostly burned out due to heat and capsicum. Who cares? Got er done. Looks a little bean-shy now, add another can of non-black beans. Yeah baby. Final taste: it is chili. Call family downstairs.

Son informs that he has been eating an entire cold, dried pepperoni pizza and isn't hungry. Wife tastes perfectly acceptable chili, even after smothering the blessed gruel in crushed saltine crackers as a sort of control rod, makes scowling face and asks if I am trying to kill her?

Finally, take the dollar and the dime and run to Wendy's for wife's favorite chili. Send teenage son down the street with skateboard. Serve and enjoy.

[Sender]

BBQ chili drama ping.

[BamaDi]

and speaking of bar-b-q cook-offs....i just spent five days standing in a parking lot at reliant stadium in houston as one of thousands of volunteers who make this event happen - yes, it's the largest bar-b-q cook-off in the world.....my feet hurt, i've had too much to drink and eat, and i didn't run across the person who passed on the forged papers to cbs....(this is the kickoff to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo) but i had a great time!

[Species8472]

Species8472’s Alaskan Chile

Sauté 1 large yellow onion in a cast iron pot with a little bit of corn oil.

Add:
1 ½ lb pork, coarse grind
1 ½ lb beef, coarse grind
½ lb chorizo, (remove casing)

While the meat browns, seed:

3 dried Ancho chilies
3 dried Poblanos negros chilies
3 dried California chilies
5 dried Chitopole chilies

Place the dried chilies in a bowl and cover with boiling water.
!!!WASH YOUR HANDS!!!
(and don’t touch any mucus membranes or delicate body parts)!!!

Stir the meat and add:
4 tablespoons of ground Cumin.
2 tablespoons of Mexican Oregano.

When the meat is brown add a can of diced tomatoes and a can of tomato sauce.

Dump the chili mixture in a blender and blend till smooth.
Add to the meat.

Open a beer, have a sip and add to the pot.
Stir in 1 ½ teaspoons of cinnamon.

Cook 3 hours, add more beer if necessary
Serve with chopped onion and Grated sharp cheddar cheese.

Enjoy!

[Misty Memory]

I nominate Rainforest Man written by dead. If your sides aren't aching from laughter while reading it, you ain't right in the haid!