Posted on 02/22/2005 6:56:50 PM PST by qam1
I'm not answering any of your FReepmails.
Re: Single women choose motherhood by adopting Chinese girls
To Artist | 02/24/2005 1:03:38 PM PST sent
I believe it is selfish for single people to adopt children, especially given her reasons for adopting. It is not my desire that any child would suffer and I was not suggesting that. I voiced my opinion, and for this you slam me and tell me I should change my posting name. I do speak from a position of authority, considering my background, which you know nothing about, a single person raised me along with other children and it is not the ideal. I have no problem with you disagreeing with my position, but your lack of respect is disgusting.
YES I GUESS THAT WAS ME SLAMMING YOU.....I CAN TELL YOU ARE AN ARTIST.
First of all, nothing is ideal.
Secondly, you have no business calling a bunch of women you don't know and will never meet "VERY SELFISH." That's awful.
Honestly, if you actually think that you, yourself, would have been better off taking your chances in a third world orphanage instead of being raised by your single mom in the US, you're delusional. That seems to be what you're advocating for other kids since there aren't enough married couples to fill the need.
My hat's off to the single moms who love these kids, and I think it's absolutely horrible that folks like you insult and belittle them. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Well, it's fornication and God doesn't bless that. But, she is doing a good job with these kids as far as I can tell. It's not up to me to judge her but it sure is strange. They seem to be nice kids. I'm sure they aren't being brought up to know the Lord and that's too bad.
Well, sorta I guess, if you have close male relatives and a good church family to help out.
I agree. People should get married and provide stable homes. Sometimes parents aren't religious but they won't mind sending their kids to sunday school,etc.
That's right. Hopefully these children will be brought up in stable homes.
Thought this link might help you sort through some of your concerns about population control:
http://www.deanesmay.com/archives/cat_best_of_deans_articles.html
What I don't understand about the views of people who see these women as selfish is: how is a married couple having a child any less selfish?
I think a single woman who chooses to adopt is essentially the opposite: instead of conceiving a child for her own selfish purposes, she chooses to mother a child that is not wanted to begin with.
The attitudes towards these single woman isn't really much worse than the attitudes towards girls in China if you ask me.
Some women who are really capable of being nurturing and good educators, who are self-sufficient and have a lot to offer children...can't actually have children. Physically or for certain personal, medical reasons, some of us simply can't produce babies, which, in and of itself does not constitute the whole job of MOTHERHOOD. Some of us who are not biological mothers may still have a lot to offer young females, and not all of us are struggling to make ends meat, though most of us work hard indeed at what we do, and carry a sense of pride in that regard -- a pride and sense of accomplishment many mothers cannot offer their female offspring...because they never had it and never found a way to cultivate it. Some of us, when we are ready and able, want to offer education, travel, nuturing to younger women....to the next generation being born, whether the world is ready to feed them or not, and some of us want to help out and share our love and abilities. I am one such woman, and am in my 30s and a professor of women's history, and am an author, as well. I don't see why my own interest, love and generosity shouldn't go to a young female child who is abandoned, for cultural or socio-economic reasons. It is NOT a matter of ruining my body,but of living a long life and sharing that with a child who needs that strength. Although I do feel it BEST for children to have both a male and female parent...I wonder about all those little girls from China, Hungary and other war-torn or impoverished nations who need A MOTHER, who can be there for them, physically, mentally, and emotionally...who can offer better than what she is likely to get without someone like ME, who spent my life trying to be a role model to young women. I'm sorry some very misogynistic, adolescent and bitter, cynical comments have been made here, by some men and women, who have no real understanding of the variety of women's lives and the variety of life-choices out there, and I am disappointed by the comments from those who suffered badly from struggling single parents, who could barely manage them, as children. But realize, too, that NOT ALL single women are in that same situation as women who chose marriage and children before becoming educated or self-suffient, and who now find themselves struggling and flailing at being single parents. That has indeed gone on for generations, and that is why there are women making different choices these days...albeit not without opposition or struggle, but with some confidence. Some very educated, loving, generous and capable females, who have the money and willingness to care for another human, to make them civilized and offer them educational and other opportunities SHOULD adopt female children who have, for centuries, been victims of poverty, rape, and rampant, ruthless female infanticide in such places as China and Vietnam. My own mother had the body to produce many children, and had both a husband and a very bad marriage, which tortured me enormously, though I recovered through education and other forms of guidance. I have now a very good life, free of strife and unhappiness and struggle. Why should I not share that? Why should I not share that strength and good feeling? You need to look at things differently, if you remain so cynical about the choices women make with their bodies, energy, life, love and time. We're not all looking for an excuse for giving our lives meaning, through mere biological reproduction; some are giving meaning to those who don't even get that meaning from mothers who bothered to give birth to them, but simply cannot do the rest.
Being married doesn’t nec. guarantee a stable home. Provided w/ a choice between letting a responsible, single woman adopt vs. a highly disfunctional “family” I’d choose the single woman.
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