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I also played with Barbies,but I think that even Barbies now a days can send the wrong message,but that all depends on someones point of view,IMO.
My daughter really only played with her Barbie when her friends came over.Like I said she was more of a tomboy and would rather play with her older brothers racetrack or action figures.

Now that she is 12 her more feminine side shows.She is now more interested in things that girls her age are into,with restrictions of course.We as parents don't believe in having boyfriends and such things at this age and made it very clear to both kids.The older brother,by 5 years, sets a very good example for his younger sister.

We of course can't stop her from having a crush,but I sure as heck won't give in for her to act up on this feeling.
So far she has respected our strict rules and wishes without a problem.

The same friend ,I mentioned earlier had the same rules with her oldest,but gave in to her daughter by allowing the boy she had a crush on into her house,thinking that this doesn't constitute dating.Needless to say that the stepfather,who raised her as his own from age 2,didn't agree.She was supposed to be the role model for his to girls,out of the marriage to my friend.The older daughter is not a bad kid and she hasn't gotten pregnant or anything like that,in fact she is still a virgin.I guess what I am getting at is that this mom keeps sending the wrong message to her kids.

My husband and I set the same rules for both of our kids,despite of one being a boy and the other a girl and have stood by them.
We don't differentiate between the sexes to make sure that both are raised the same.

I know what you mean about some of the Barbies sending the wrong message.......I'm very picky about what kind of clothes I buy for the doll.....I try to stick to the traditional styles, like evening gowns, like I had as a kid and stay as far away from the "slutty" stuff as possible. We're trying our best not to send her mixed messages.

It sounds like you and your husband are doing a wonderful job raising your kids. Good for you.

We only have the one and she bounces between real girlie-girl and tomboy. For Christmas she wanted a new baby doll........and hot wheels cars. LOL!