I'm on it, boss.
Posted on 02/16/2005 7:34:02 AM PST by Lazamataz
All the older guys I know, guys that are 55 and older are telling me the same story; don't do it. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.
Children - "the ultimate human experience" I couldn't even begin to list all of the older folks i know from work or through my family with kids they either don't get along with, are disappointed in, or are so distant as to not even be a factor in each other's lives.
I'm really skeptical about the idea of children as "the ultimate blessing." How many friends do you have with little or no meaningful contact or relationships with their parents?
I would wager the statistic for happy child/parent relations would be as bad, if not worse, than the marriage numbers. Who wants to deal with TWO bitter, unfulfilling relationships?!
Marriage is a sham for men. There is no benefit. If you are about to get married, think it over. Don't let your **** do your thinking for you. Don't let your punch-drunk I'm in love euphoria put you on auto-pilot. You will wake up in a hell of a hangover staring at this woman who will control your life.
A few years ago I went through a major depression over this until I started talking to all the older guys I knew...and they all said the same thing; "don't do it, it's crap. Even when it's not bad, it's crap". You end up being closely tied to an old woman. Think about that. I can go to Europe or the south seas tomorrow. If I was married I wouldn't have the money and I'd have to ask HER permission. Don't get married unless you are absolutely religiously in love with her. Like carry her sick aged body to the toilet and wipe her butt and be happy to do it kind of love.
What I'm saying is that human beings are nasty weak treacherous creatures that are for the most part totally untrustworthy. Experience is my basis for this statement, both mine and others who I know or who have written reliable histories. If you can find a woman to be your companion who is not treacherous, a deceitful little actress, a sly whore or a manipulative nag or a shrieking hag, then you are among the lucky few. Congratulations. I hope your luck continues to hold out.
Ok, assume that you will end up divorced and won't see your kids and lose half of your assets, how different is that from being married?
Most married guys I know are working their butts off to pay bills, rarely to get to spend time with their families, mediocre or no sex life, and have wives that spend as much of their money as absolutely possible.
My problem with marriage isn't a fear of divorce; it is that the whole thing sucks divorce or not.
What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my stuff. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my stuff. Why the heck should i get married?
Screw it man, it's easy to get depressed about not being married when we live in a society that constantly feeds us the image of the happy couple. It's one big lie. The happiest person alive is someone who isn't a prisoner dependent on another human being... We only have 80 or so years on this rock to achieve true freedom.
Very few marriages last nowadays, and even guys older than me are telling me not to even think about it... It's a grossly overrated source of happiness. And for the 80% that do go through divorce, it will financially ruin you for life. Period. You can take your best 10 earning years from say, 35 to 45 and take all the wealth you would have accumulated and flush it down the toilet. Because it will go to her and her lawyer. If it happens naturally and it's good then great, good luck. But the worst thing is to force it, to make gross exertions and ignore all sorts of red lights going off just to be hooked up and "normal". Get some hobbies. Relax. Hang out. Enjoy. Take life as it comes.
As men, we all know that a woman's primary objective is to marry. After years of experience I've discovered their most commonly used strategy. here it is:
1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.
2. Guy delays.
3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.
4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.
5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.
6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.
Then 5-10 years later the guy is an empty shell of his former self. Girl is a ruthless manipulating machine. Girl divorces loser husband. Girl takes 80% of guy's stuff because the guy is too brain dead to find a good lawyer. Girl lives happily ever after. Guy becomes bald alcoholic who dies of heart attack at 45 years old.
I'm on it, boss.
So don't ~be~ her! Honestly, I don't know what else to say.
I'm 32, celebrating the 10th anniversary on Friday. If anything happened to my loving, wonderful, pain-in-the-ass husband, I would not marry again, either. I love every good and bad thing about him. It is a challenge but one I would ever change.
He thought he was going to be single all his life like his uncle. Then he met me. ;-) I guess you just have to find the right person and be mature enough to work through the challenges that you will face. Each year gets better with him. I love his balding head! Our kids are only 4 and 6 but I am excited about what we may be able to do together when are kids are grown.
However, I do believe that marriage is not for everyone out there! I would never wish a bad relationship on anyone! Seeing my husband's great-uncle as happy as he is helped my opinion on that one. He is a sweet little old bachelor! I adore him.
Laz-You're one of the funniest guys on FR! I love reading your posts. You do what is best for you but never say never!! :-)
I'll bet! But do you glow in the dark, have multiple attachments, and rate a "Best Buy" for your price range in Consumer's Report?
I thought not.
That is my goal darlin, that is my goal.
Why not? I don't agree with that policy.
What was the first thing Clintoon foisted on the military when that POS assumed office?
Don't mean to be hostile, but am about to lose my largest client due to the fact that I can't stand to deal with the faggot office manager anymore.
Hey sweetheart! Can you come by and give our friend Laz some encouragement?
Honestly, I've been a different person in every relationship in my life. Different people bring out different things in us, some people make us want to be better people, some people inspire only our worst traits. It is usually the relationship where you know you have too much power over the relationship that inspires our nastiest side. So don't assume that power. Don't let it get a foothold. Don't be with people who would accept that from you. Every new relationship has all the potential in the world, for it to be good, and for us to fail at it.
When I'm not janitoring or using gypsum, I moonlight as a hitman.
LOL!
Hey! Is there an echo in here? What the heck just happened??
Check my post 12. Great minds think alike. Apparently, so do ours.
I think the worst relationships are those where you both go in expecting the other to 'fix' everything wrong in your life, they fail, and you get mad. You fail, and they get mad. Then you both sit there, feeling angry and betrayed.
I really thought I was marrying my best friend. But, oh well. I could point out all his faults (mental illness, pathological lying etc) but the bottom line is that I wanted something so badly, that I was stupid and I made myself overlook the bad. I put on blinders and dove right in.
Not fair to anyone.
Ah, guess I grew up.
I'm single and I'm usually pretty happy. Of course, I've also already picked out names for my four future daughters. :o) I would dearly love to meet the right woman; it just hasn't happened yet. Being deathly shy doesn't help matters, either.
Maybe someday...
Indeed. I hope the ~right~ woman is not also shy ;~D
I'm thinking I might just print this out, so I have something to scrub my toilet with.
Most of the male royals have the very same problem...NO GOOD IN BED!!!
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