Posted on 02/16/2005 7:34:02 AM PST by Lazamataz
All the older guys I know, guys that are 55 and older are telling me the same story; don't do it. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.
Children - "the ultimate human experience" I couldn't even begin to list all of the older folks i know from work or through my family with kids they either don't get along with, are disappointed in, or are so distant as to not even be a factor in each other's lives.
I'm really skeptical about the idea of children as "the ultimate blessing." How many friends do you have with little or no meaningful contact or relationships with their parents?
I would wager the statistic for happy child/parent relations would be as bad, if not worse, than the marriage numbers. Who wants to deal with TWO bitter, unfulfilling relationships?!
Marriage is a sham for men. There is no benefit. If you are about to get married, think it over. Don't let your **** do your thinking for you. Don't let your punch-drunk I'm in love euphoria put you on auto-pilot. You will wake up in a hell of a hangover staring at this woman who will control your life.
A few years ago I went through a major depression over this until I started talking to all the older guys I knew...and they all said the same thing; "don't do it, it's crap. Even when it's not bad, it's crap". You end up being closely tied to an old woman. Think about that. I can go to Europe or the south seas tomorrow. If I was married I wouldn't have the money and I'd have to ask HER permission. Don't get married unless you are absolutely religiously in love with her. Like carry her sick aged body to the toilet and wipe her butt and be happy to do it kind of love.
What I'm saying is that human beings are nasty weak treacherous creatures that are for the most part totally untrustworthy. Experience is my basis for this statement, both mine and others who I know or who have written reliable histories. If you can find a woman to be your companion who is not treacherous, a deceitful little actress, a sly whore or a manipulative nag or a shrieking hag, then you are among the lucky few. Congratulations. I hope your luck continues to hold out.
Ok, assume that you will end up divorced and won't see your kids and lose half of your assets, how different is that from being married?
Most married guys I know are working their butts off to pay bills, rarely to get to spend time with their families, mediocre or no sex life, and have wives that spend as much of their money as absolutely possible.
My problem with marriage isn't a fear of divorce; it is that the whole thing sucks divorce or not.
What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my stuff. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my stuff. Why the heck should i get married?
Screw it man, it's easy to get depressed about not being married when we live in a society that constantly feeds us the image of the happy couple. It's one big lie. The happiest person alive is someone who isn't a prisoner dependent on another human being... We only have 80 or so years on this rock to achieve true freedom.
Very few marriages last nowadays, and even guys older than me are telling me not to even think about it... It's a grossly overrated source of happiness. And for the 80% that do go through divorce, it will financially ruin you for life. Period. You can take your best 10 earning years from say, 35 to 45 and take all the wealth you would have accumulated and flush it down the toilet. Because it will go to her and her lawyer. If it happens naturally and it's good then great, good luck. But the worst thing is to force it, to make gross exertions and ignore all sorts of red lights going off just to be hooked up and "normal". Get some hobbies. Relax. Hang out. Enjoy. Take life as it comes.
As men, we all know that a woman's primary objective is to marry. After years of experience I've discovered their most commonly used strategy. here it is:
1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.
2. Guy delays.
3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.
4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.
5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.
6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.
Then 5-10 years later the guy is an empty shell of his former self. Girl is a ruthless manipulating machine. Girl divorces loser husband. Girl takes 80% of guy's stuff because the guy is too brain dead to find a good lawyer. Girl lives happily ever after. Guy becomes bald alcoholic who dies of heart attack at 45 years old.
OMIGOD! Yes it will!
It will cut through rope tile like butter! I haven't done a 45 yet, but it cut all other angles just fine.
I am so in love with the little fella.
I am actually working on a web page called "Tools I Have Known and Loved" :)
Wish I could get my hands on a recent quote I saw, something to the effect of
"if you want boring, stay single and screw as many women as you can. For excitement try staying married to the same person for 50 years"
A marriage made in heaven's workshop!
What I miss the most on a personal level is that warm spoon snuggle in the middle of the night.
She's there for you, you're there for her. You're both there for the kids.
Brainwise, men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's how we all got here.
I admit I have the need to experience the sleepless nights of child rearing.
I'm not dumping on you Lazamataz (haven't done a post search) but this article sounds like homo-agenda.
Snort ~ LOL ;^>
Yes, it does. Now, it won't make her a good person, nor will it make the husband a good person. It's a two way street, and many of the most bitter people I've seen here see trouble coming from only one direction.
Don't ask.
OOHhhhhhh,
Get yer headouttathegutter Laz!
I wish *I* could get my hands on this chick from the third floor.
Yowsa.
Totally selfish a$$ works just fine if you are single, doesn't do too well for either partner in a marriage to be so.
Why should my head leave the rest of my body????
For me, marriage was all my faults and failings magnified.
If you marry wrong for both of you, it is like a cauldron where all bad things distill and both parties begin to look and act like McBeth's witches.
I don't want to marry again because I don't want to see that woman I hated in the mirror.
Second floor lav is out of paper towels again, while you're at it.
Yes, you're right. The point I wanted to make is that our modern concept of marriage is off. No fault divorce and promiscuity have twisted what marriage is. I wasn't intending to put all the blame on the women.
I told my sons marriage is for mature adult audiences only. Just don't do it until you are well established in your career or have a Masters degree in a marketable profession and have a substantial portfolio ( some of it hidden offshore ). Get out and do the things you want to do. It will all come undone after you get married, children become your priority.
They also saw what their mother did to me in court, that helped.
My mother told me never to get married. Ditto my brother.
Been married 30 years, raised two kids, and it just keeps getting better and better:)
Becky
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