Posted on 02/16/2005 7:34:02 AM PST by Lazamataz
All the older guys I know, guys that are 55 and older are telling me the same story; don't do it. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.
Children - "the ultimate human experience" I couldn't even begin to list all of the older folks i know from work or through my family with kids they either don't get along with, are disappointed in, or are so distant as to not even be a factor in each other's lives.
I'm really skeptical about the idea of children as "the ultimate blessing." How many friends do you have with little or no meaningful contact or relationships with their parents?
I would wager the statistic for happy child/parent relations would be as bad, if not worse, than the marriage numbers. Who wants to deal with TWO bitter, unfulfilling relationships?!
Marriage is a sham for men. There is no benefit. If you are about to get married, think it over. Don't let your **** do your thinking for you. Don't let your punch-drunk I'm in love euphoria put you on auto-pilot. You will wake up in a hell of a hangover staring at this woman who will control your life.
A few years ago I went through a major depression over this until I started talking to all the older guys I knew...and they all said the same thing; "don't do it, it's crap. Even when it's not bad, it's crap". You end up being closely tied to an old woman. Think about that. I can go to Europe or the south seas tomorrow. If I was married I wouldn't have the money and I'd have to ask HER permission. Don't get married unless you are absolutely religiously in love with her. Like carry her sick aged body to the toilet and wipe her butt and be happy to do it kind of love.
What I'm saying is that human beings are nasty weak treacherous creatures that are for the most part totally untrustworthy. Experience is my basis for this statement, both mine and others who I know or who have written reliable histories. If you can find a woman to be your companion who is not treacherous, a deceitful little actress, a sly whore or a manipulative nag or a shrieking hag, then you are among the lucky few. Congratulations. I hope your luck continues to hold out.
Ok, assume that you will end up divorced and won't see your kids and lose half of your assets, how different is that from being married?
Most married guys I know are working their butts off to pay bills, rarely to get to spend time with their families, mediocre or no sex life, and have wives that spend as much of their money as absolutely possible.
My problem with marriage isn't a fear of divorce; it is that the whole thing sucks divorce or not.
What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my stuff. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my stuff. Why the heck should i get married?
Screw it man, it's easy to get depressed about not being married when we live in a society that constantly feeds us the image of the happy couple. It's one big lie. The happiest person alive is someone who isn't a prisoner dependent on another human being... We only have 80 or so years on this rock to achieve true freedom.
Very few marriages last nowadays, and even guys older than me are telling me not to even think about it... It's a grossly overrated source of happiness. And for the 80% that do go through divorce, it will financially ruin you for life. Period. You can take your best 10 earning years from say, 35 to 45 and take all the wealth you would have accumulated and flush it down the toilet. Because it will go to her and her lawyer. If it happens naturally and it's good then great, good luck. But the worst thing is to force it, to make gross exertions and ignore all sorts of red lights going off just to be hooked up and "normal". Get some hobbies. Relax. Hang out. Enjoy. Take life as it comes.
As men, we all know that a woman's primary objective is to marry. After years of experience I've discovered their most commonly used strategy. here it is:
1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.
2. Guy delays.
3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.
4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.
5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.
6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.
Then 5-10 years later the guy is an empty shell of his former self. Girl is a ruthless manipulating machine. Girl divorces loser husband. Girl takes 80% of guy's stuff because the guy is too brain dead to find a good lawyer. Girl lives happily ever after. Guy becomes bald alcoholic who dies of heart attack at 45 years old.
There are probably a significant number of women who find that Duracell meets this need. LOL!
That's the only kind of love there is.
My suggestion is see what the scriptures teach on marriage. See what the scriptures teach about women. That's the advise I'd take over this goof ball. Talk about one empty loser.
In his elder yrs....he'll be one lonely old creepy man. In that day...NO WOMEN ESPECIALLY YOUNG OR OLD will give him the time of day.
He'll live out is golden years in an under staffed medicaid nursing home. Talk about NO fun...that's where he's heading. ;o)
Can you tell us why you'd never marry again? I'm 39 and have not married. Thought about it once when I was dating a wonderful girl. But I decided there was simply not enough in common - and I must admit, the nagging was non stop and was not something I was willing to live with.
Too funny!
I went to the website and it seems the hidden agenda is not so much "no marriage" as "no marriage to a Western woman." Hmm.
Gotta feel sorry for the guy
Editing some of the cynicism, and polishing the cannonball, she falls in love for who he is, and immediately starts to try to change him. Either change and be miserable as someone you aren't, or fight the change and make both of you miserable in the attempt. (26 Years and the fight continues!)
Guess he wouldn't want to hear the words of Solomon..."He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord" (Prov 18:22)...maybe that's why he had so many.
Good post. Just marrying a man doesn't make a woman a wife though.
They're out there. Trouble is, you have to be willing to take a chance to find one.
My motivation has always been one of competing regrets: I have felt the bigger regret would be to lose a great one through inaction, rather than the regrets I've suffered at the hands of women like the ex.
From what I've seen, you are not doing anything different than I have done.
Oh, well, skip it then.
From what I've seen, you are not doing anything different than I have done.
You ALSO get dressed up in a bee costume, wear scuba fins, and throw marmalade at monkeys?
Small world.
Well, from his writing, the author sounds like a whining, immature, selfish jerk who hasn't looked for or found decent women in the right places. (Or is looking for a super model fantasy of perfection that won't care if his hair is thinning or he has a pauch.) There are decent women and men in this world willing to committ and compromise in a marriage relationship. (They don't mind growing old with one another either.) The caveat is that most decent women prefer positive, decent men and vice a versa.
I don't know about you, but I would not trade my good marriage (I married a great guy) of 20 years for being single and messing around sexually in meaningless relationships that may lead to disease and/or heartbreak.(Let alone the thought of some jerk sizing me up negatively because I'm old and not a hot to trot young chick.)
As for having children, I thank God for my seventeen-year-old son who doesn't think it's uncool to talk with or be seen with his "fuddy-duddy" parents who, hopefully, have given him a good view of what marriage is really all about.
I'm not too far from a resort where there are lots of older singles. Of course, there's many older retired ladies who form friendships with each other and play and do a little travel. Frankly--these older biddies with their buddies seem a sight happier than the duffers. One old duffer does not offer much in the way of emotional support to other old duffers. The duffers leer at women that are younger than them, and laugh at saggy flirtation.
I'd say having a long-time friend, with whom you don't always get along, is better than alone...
These resort areas are "child unfriendly"--which is a rational choice that I understand, but sometimes regard as rude.
Both the biddies and the duffers graduate to the local nursing homes. Sometimes I have taken children from Sunday School classes to these sorts of nursing homes...how the duffers cry to hug and hold the children...Come sit on my lap and talk to me, sweetie...
All life and happiness are compromised by our fallen condition.
I've been told that I'm a machine.
My apologies for getting off topic....
I glanced at a tile saw in Lowes the other day and have been wanting to go back for it ever since. Will it cut rope tile on a 45? Thanks.
...now back to your regularly scheduled posting.
Yup! Difference is, I sing "It's a Small World, After All" while throwing grape jelly. Marmalade's tough to find sometimes. I see by your last line that you are thinking exactly the same thing I do.
Small world.
And you marry them hoping to be the same.
Wow!
Beautifully written.
Totally fooled ya, din't I?
Now get back in that lingerie and fetch me a beer, dammit. ;^)
Don't ever change, old friend....
:)
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