a little one, not a big one!
Posted on 02/15/2005 5:00:02 AM PST by KidGlock
Lawsuits fly over penis enlargements
Tue Feb 15,12:58 AM ET
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A New Jersey man has filed a false advertising lawsuit against a maker of herbal penis enlargement pills, alleging the medicine does not fulfil its promises, the plaintiff's lawyer says.
Two similar cases, filed last year in Colorado and Ohio, accuse manufacturers of herbal dietary supplements, VigRx and Enzyte, of falsely claiming to be able to add substantial length and girth to a man's penis.
All three suits seek class action status and claim to represent more than 1 million total plaintiffs.
In the latest case, filed on January 21 in New Jersey state court, plaintiff Michael Coluzzi claimed he paid $59.95 (32 pounds) for a 30-day supply of Alzare pills but "experienced no increase in penis size," and then was unable to collect a promised refund from manufacturer Alzare LLC of Boca Raton, Florida.
Neither Alzare nor chief operating officer Scott Hammond, both named as defendants, could be reached for comment.
Coluzzi's attorney, Stephen DeNittis, said many men had been taken in by dubious claims that the product would add up to 3 inches (7.5 cm) to their penises by "very, very convincing" advertising, such as infomercials featuring doctors and porn stars.
"Males, for whatever reason, may be susceptible because of what they feel they lack," DeNittis said. "It was so believable I confirmed with an expert (that the claims were false) before I filed the lawsuit. They said they had done medical studies proving that it works."
The ads for Alzare tablets, comprised of ginseng, yohimbe bark, L-arginine and other ingredients, guaranteed results within a week and claimed a 95 percent success rate in the more than 100,000 men who have used it, the suit said.
But last year, the Center for Science in the Public Interest filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission saying the maker of Enzyte had not backed up its claims with science.
Although thousands of complaints have been registered with local government agencies and the Better Business Bureau, few lawsuits have been filed because the companies appear to be "judgment proof," DeNittis said.
"They don't have enough assets for plaintiffs to recover, and some of the defendants are fly-by-night -- they close up shop after they get sued," he said.
All three lawsuits claim that plaintiffs were unable to contact the companies for guaranteed refunds after spending hundreds of dollars for the penis enhancers.
In a related matter - false advertising - I ordered a couple of those Twin Tower silver dollars for my children so they would have something to remember 9/11 by. They got class actioned and the New York Supreme Court made the retailer return all the purchases because they advertised the coins as official government tender and they were not.
Don't these dummies know that if that stuff really worked you wouldn't be able to get your hands on it. Nearly all men, and a fair amount of women, would be buying it.
The defense lawyers' discovery process is going to be a riot...
Big deal..., or not...., or something....
Will the evidence stand up in court? And if convicted, will the defendants suffer in hte penal system?
Will the evidence stand up in court?
Well, if it worked you would be able to get your hands on it....
Another cock and bull story.
They'll start marketing vagina reducers next!
It never ceases to amaze me..
BUT, some plastic surgeon will make BIG money if he can come up with an alternate way (other than what they can do now) to make Mr. wiggly larger.
"They'll start marketing vagina reducers next!"
.....
/runs out to garage to mock up some plans
You've never heard of the Addadiktume?
Will there be a hung jury?
A man comes into a doctor's office and screams "I WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR!"
The receptionist asks him to be quieter, he replies "NO, THAT'S MY PROBLEM, I TALK TOO LOUD."
He's immediately brought in to the doctor, who asks what his problem is.
"I DON'T KNOW. I TALK TOO LOUD. MY WIFE DON'T LIKE IT, MY BOSS DON'T LIKE IT, MY KIDS DON'T LIKE IT. I TALK TOO LOUD."
So, the doctor gives him a full examination, finally he says, "I think we've found your problem.'
'WELL, WHAT IS IT?"
"Your penis is 8 inches too long. It's taking so much blood from your body that your're yelling as a stress reaction."
"WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT THAT?"
"There is a procedure for removing a section out of your penis, it will solve your problem. The good thing is that the section will be frozen; if you don't like the results it can be replaced easily."
"I DON'T LIKE THIS, BUT I'LL TALK IT OVER WITH MY WIFE," replies the man.
The next day he comes back and allows the surgery to be done, providing that it will be reversable. So the doctor gets to work.
A couple of months later the patient is fully recovered and drops into the doctor's office unannounced.
"Doctor," says the man, "you were right. That was the cause of my yelling. Although my kids like it, my boss likes it, and my friends like it, my wife and I like it better the old way. You said that operation is reversable, right? Do you still have that eight inch segment available?
The doctor says "WELL, IT MUST BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE!"
That's the entrepreneurial spirit! go! go! go!
I hope someone is working on a pill to reduce size. We BIG guys needs someway to make it more manageable.
a little one, not a big one!
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