On a Wing and a Prayer (Humor)

SportsIllustratedCNN.com ^ | September 14, 1999 | Rick Reilly

[Eagle9]

Now this message for America's most famous athletes: Someday you may be invited to fly in the backseat of one of your country's most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have -- John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity....

Move to Guam. Change your name. Fake your own death. Whatever you do, do not go. I know. The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast!

I should've known when they told me my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach. Whatever you're thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He's about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, finger-crippling handshake -- the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way. Fast.

Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of NASA missions. ("T-minus 15 seconds and counting...." Remember?) Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him to say, "We have a liftoff."

[Eagle9]

I got a big laugh while reading this story and thought others might also find it humorous. Personally, I would love to take a flight in the backseat of any U.S. fighter jet, with such a highly trained pilot at the controls. Getting sick ... so what, small price to pay for making a memory of a lifetime.

[Bahbah]

Thank you so much. I laughed all the way through. I am still wiping my eyes.

[Brian Mosely]

Got to take a spin with this fellow several years back for a story on his stunt flying. Not a intense as a jet fighter, I imagine...but worthy of a good puke after it was over. At least I waited until I was back on the ground before losing it. Dramamine did no good at all.

[Bahbah]

You might like your aviation ping list to see this.

[coincheck]

wwwaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! wish that was ME!!!:)

[Peelod]

bttt

[jocon307]

That was a good post! Very well written. I have had an 8 year old snear at me for my fearful, no TERRIFFIED, behaviour on a plain old roller coaster, so obviously this is not for me!

[Madame Dufarge]

Hilarious article, and makes me even more grateful that there are people far braver than I'll ever be out there protecting us.

[Theresawithanh]

That was great reading!

I once did a flight simulator when I visited my brother when he was in the AF stationed in Selma, AL. It was years ago, but as I remember it, it was like a merry-go-round on speed. Just wearing the helmet made me feel my head was going to sink down into my stomach. It was fun, though. I'm sure I couldn't do what this guy did.

[Eagle9]

Wow! That had to be an incredible thrill. I've seen those two pilots in those planes on some TV channel (Discovery, probably). Awesome!

[xcamel]

Gives all new meaning to "ROTFLOLPMP!!"

And.. makes me very proud of my cousin Mark, Marine AV8-B harrier Top-Gun (MOTS) who just transitioned to the F22 Raptor for Marine Eval. Semper Fi!

[ken5050]

Reilly is a marvelous writer..and probably the first to ever publicly admit that he barfed on the flight..90% do so, I've been told, yet about 1% admit to it..

[Eagle9]

Hilarious article, and makes me even more grateful that there are people far braver than I'll ever be out there protecting us.

Rick Reilly: I wouldn't go up there again for Derek Jeter's black book, but I'm glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand.

I do wish that American military service men and women were better paid. Of course, they're not in it for the money but a higher standard of living for those that have a family seems only fair.

[Aeronaut]

An oldie but goodie.

[F14 Pilot]

thanks!

[Madame Dufarge]

My stomach was churning just reading the article.

[G.Mason]

"And I egressed the bananas. I egressed the pizza from the night before. And the lunch before that. I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade. I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G's, I was egressing stuff that did not even want to be egressed. "

Great read.

I was crying from laughing so much!

[Madame Dufarge]

American military service men and women were better paid. Of course, they're not in it for the money but a higher standard of living for those that have a family seems only fair.

I agree.

My brother-in-law was career navy, VietNam vet, and they had some lean times through the years.

[fredhead]

After spending 20 years in the Navy with 10 years on carriers, I would have loved to be in his place. I saw a lot of the F-14, one bad-a$$ aircraft. Two things the writer missed... A catapult shot and an arrested landing. That would have really made his ride complete.

[StACase]

I was an enlisted member of VF-33 based at Oceana in 1968. And Oh yes, those who got an Oh-My-Ass card could get a ride. I wasn't one of the luky ones, but I did understand that the pilots made a concentrated effort to make the passenger get sick. VF-33 Flew Phantoms at the time.