"Being Jewish I can comment from a different point of view. Parenting is hard work, and we don't always get things right, and this has nothing to do with how strict or strong our religious beliefs.
We insisted our son go to classes leading to his Bar Mitzvah. He was reluctant, but did have his friends who felt the same way in class. After resisting for several years, he came through for us and himself in the last 6 months and did a good job. He also has not set foot inside a synagogue since, (well once in college to check out for Jewish girls in the new community). But we feel it was our job to provide the experience and he does not regret it now. On the contrary, a Jewish student I had in High School said he did regret dropping our of his class. So you have these choices to make. We did not force him to continue music lessons, (maybe that was a mistake?)"
God Bless your boy and I bet he isn't a screw-up because you loved him right let go when it was time. These days, being a successful parent means your kid works, doesn't do drugs and hasn't been in jail.
Correct me if I am wrong, but my observation of Jewish families is that many of the kids from conservative backgrounds turn out to be liberal atheists. My best friend in high school was (and still is, as far as I know!) a Jew. She was a staunch atheist and absolutely refused to attend synagogue. But she was a kosher vegetarian and after college, was very conscious of dating only Jewish men.
This is unrelated, but I've got to relay this funny story about us. One day she called me and told me she went to a party. The man whose house it was at (he was in a band)apparantly shoved her. She didn't know this, but he was a drug dealer. She went into the bathroom, came out and noticed all the lights were out and said "What's going on?" There was a cop across the street, but instead of telling her to duck down, he shoved her, to the ground, and told her to shut up. He never apologized. She was humiliated, and we discussed how to regain the power she lost that night. I talked her into something this good girl would have never otherwise done, as I was apparantly Gentile a corrupter of nice Jewish girls. These were my atheist days, so revenge was very much on the table. I mentioned that in the back yard was a doggie poop bucket with an airtight lid. I was determined to make this man pay for hurting my friend. So we took out the plastic bag containing the moist, moldy dog poop and placed it in my trunk (something I regretted for the next 3 months). We went to the store and picked out a card that said "Just wanted you to know how I feel about you..." We drove by, dressed in disguises (black Celtic cloak and ball cap for me), and before we passed his house I said "wouldn't it be proof of God's existence if the windows in his van were rolled down?" We had planned to place the poop at his doorstep, but as fate would have it, his van (with all of his band equiptment) was open with the windows down. We parked a block away and snuck around like criminals, casing the area and trying to keep our voices low. The lights were out. She was so scared of being caught. I proceeded to take the dog poop and toss it around his van (with gloves on of course). She then got her courage, placed the card in his window and took the bag and started rubbing the dog poop in his seats. I then got a little nervous and insisted we leave. She then pulled out some eggs from her pocket and started throwing them at his windows as we retreated, like a couple of covert soldiers tossing grenades. But soldiers don't giggle and laugh as they retreat, but we did, even after his lights went on. She and I laughed for months over this. We imagined him leaving for work the next day and discovering this scene as he sipped up his coffee. We discussed what technique he used to remove the moldy dog poop from his guitar box. We never even heard of this incident, not even through the local band scene. My mom told me that the end doesn't justify the means, but my friend got her dignity back after this. It was well worth it.
No, I don't think you're wrong. Although many Jews marry outside the religion, and this results in more secular people and fewer Jews. Most Jews, as you know, are liberal and think and vote in an almost secular manner. Conservative (political not the religious sect) Jews have to contend with all their kid's friends being liberal and a liberal message from the Rabbi. We are not liberal in the slightest and therefore are a minority within a minority.
I don't think of taking revenge quite as strongly as you did, (and I am glad you did not get caught).
My wife (before she met me) was living in a apartment with several roomates, one who moved out and her boyfriend stayed in. My wife called the police and the cop came and searched his stuff and found drugs. "Did you know about this? he asked her, "say no" he added. They told him to get out and he did.
by finger--painting with dog poop?