Posted on 02/13/2005 6:17:50 AM PST by nuconvert
We call this D-I-V-O-R-C-E in the human world.
This is a classic! I've been shot down by a lawn tractor before, a cute little Kubota twin diesel that was waaay out of my league. It hurts, dude.
Lol.
btw - have you met TADSLOS (Right Wing Infidel since 1954)?
LOL, great article, thanks for posting it!
This is so very true! Dave Barry nailed this one.
Best pickup line I ever heard was in a lesbian bar in Seattle, New Years 1987. Was waiting to be served at the bar and overheard one girl tell the other "OK, but just in case my biology teacher was right we'd better exchange ID now 'cause I intend to be you by tomorrow morning."
This is, perhaps, the most insightful, meaningful, and valuable article that has ever been written in the history of Mankind. I respectfully request that any and all females in the Universe be forced to read, even commit to memory, this article before they are allowed to speak to a male in a social or romantic setting. Of course, my wife will be along any moment to tell me why I am wrong and why I should shut up.
The best "singles ad" I ever saw was in a Denver weekly years ago, and read in its entirety:
Oversexed man seeks woman to whom this is not a problem.
Box NNNNN
"My name is Todd, you'll be screaming it later tonight."
I think I've got the best pickup line there is. However, I cannot divulge it for fear of the resulting over-population problem.
I have... I was lying face-down on a lounger by the pool, when two lizards decided to do their thing on a fence rail about twelve inches in front of my nose. Being comfortable and not wanting to disturb them (and rather curious, to tell you the truth), I just lay there and watched the show.
One question: Where the heck does he hide that thing when he's not using it? And I don't mean the neck pouch.
FUNNY!
Women and motorize boy toys, especially those one can not afford all have the same seductive qualities we can only dream of enjoying. Lucky for most of us and our "sensitive" male egos, there are more than one fish in the sea!
I should know better than to read Dave Barry while drinking coffee. Thanks for the morning sunshine - now to clean off my monitor. :o)
"Are you a teacher?" is the exact line used by a 16-something boy who approached me (quite a bit over 16) in the public library and offered to trade sex for my writing his high school English paper. Said I, "I am not a teacher." He, after looking me over: "Yes, you are."
Thanks for posting this. Dave Barry is one of those timeless writers, like P.G. Wodehouse and Mark Twain, whose works will never lose their charm.
I don't have the faintest clue as to what that means, but if it's that good I'll go out and try it tonight.
It does work on straight women also, doesn't it? I mean no ones gonna think I'm a lesbian or worse are they?
Let me know before I make a fool of myself.
It would be easier to just say "My name is bayourod, you'll be screaming it later tonight." (especially if your anti-immigrant)
Wait; HE would have sex with you, and YOU get to write his paper? He must have an absurd ego.
I've never met a man that confident!
LoL
We understand. *YAWWWWWN*
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