Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
that is funny
People would rather gossip about who's zooming who, than who isn't....that's all.
sw
You're rather bizarre.
I think that I'll end this now.
Good bye.
Didn't take much to scare you off. Cya
I found out a couple of days ago that my wife of 12 years has been cheating on me. Sure we had our problems any marriage has them but I was trying to fix them. I guess I was doing it wrong.
I don't smoke, drink, or go out with the boys. I'm not a fat slob who sits around after work watching the tube. I don't ogle cute women when I'm out with her though she ogles the guys. I didn't say a word but I hated it. She flirts alot which I also hate but I accepted it because I loved her.
I do 90% of the cooking and help out with the housework and with our three kids. I'm sure I could do more on the housework part. Every weekend she has off I let her sleep in and make her coffee and breakfast. The weekends she works I make her coffee and dinner after she wakes up.
I take her out to dinner and shows but apparently not enough. According to her I haven't listened to her on her needs which she may be right on some of it.
Let me tell you that I would feel less pain if she would have shot me in the gut.
Right now I say take marriage and shove it where the light don't shine cause it sucks.
People who cheat on their spouses are nothing but low lifes with no moral compass. There are two guys where I work that are cheating on their wifes and I want to punch them in the face everytime I see them.
I could go on but I'm cutting up her pictures I have of her around my office and its almost time to go home.
Its not nice to call your wife crazy while online. ;)
LOL
Scared? Hardly.
You are just too bizarre to waste my time.
I merely questioned why the other poster jumped in and I gave you and CG the courtesy of a ping because you were being talked about. Then you decided to further characterize CG to me when you know not of which you speak. You are as much an ass the whoever that other poster was and I have better things to do.
If men are so tired of being called pigs they should stop rolling in the mud and keep their legs closed (oops they can't, it will cut off the circulation to their 'brains')!
Goodness, better teach that them there lady how to talk about important stuff...like the football game and changing the tire and even about how great of a man she's got. Yup.
Wow. They must really know their place in the world and to remember never to speak unless spoken to...woof, woof. What are they so afraid of...that their husband will 'teach them a lesson'?
www.americanwomensuck.com
;)
Men, of course, should never criticize their wives either.
Husbands and wives who rip each other in front of their friends usually have lousy marriages.
She can blame you all she wants, wont change a thing.
It was her choice
She is wrong
Things will never be the same
The marriage may well be over, but it can be salvaged. Not an easy thing...
If there is any way of keeping it from the kids, I would advise that. If the marriage survives, you don't want them to know what their mother did.
It doesn't have to be that way. I know of several that have survived. Don't know the percentage, but far too many within my own church have had to deal with it. Some are still together(4-7 years since the adultery), some are not.
Yes she is. With the Boston Red Sox
Just kidding :^)
I don't agree. It's mostly men who think with their "sex organs". It is the reason why there is a billion dollar porn industry. It is the reason for many divorces. It's the reason for so many sexual harrassment lawsuits. These things are not the result of women thinking with their sex organs...it is all supported by men.
My problem is that what you said wasn't mentioned in the persons post, nor was it implied...it was implied, however, that it is simply a case of a woman 'knowing her place'. I don't think Latin men are particularly known for never criticizing their wives, either. Believe me, I had a neighbor with a wife he 'imported' and a friend of my husbands just did the same thing. Both of these men think American women suck at being wives because they refuse to be subservient...any other reason they give is just Barbara Streisand.
Maybe we can agree that a lot of people are just shit. People who need sex to fill some ego void or shallow soul were most likely screwed up by their parents or had an initial sexual experience that was traumatic. I never understood the need to have a lot of sex to make myself feel better. I know a lot of people like that(both male and female) and I find it disturbing and quite sad. They all have one thing in common, low self esteem. some were introverts and some extroverts, but all used sex to make themselves feel liked, loved or accepted. Too many people confuse love with sex and I think that comes from having too many broken homes and emotionally unavailable parents.
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