Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
Another episode of Maury Povich-Chung to follow at 6.
Definitely!
And the thing that separates man from animal is a soul and ego.
Science and humanism seems to be egging the "natural animal" on, while reminding man that it's "un-natural" to feel satified with monogamy.
Thanks - found help for my ulcer!
8 | It's either something [the wives are] missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves...[wives] need is to feel listened to and validated |
Why of course, it's not that the cheating spouse is a slut, it's the cuckolded spouse who's at fault! Thanks for clearing tht up.
--Boot Hill
Exactly.
oh, so this is what started all the ruckus tonight
hehhehheh
best line of thread as of 70
"Eddie! I want to talk to yooooo! I do not like way you been treating me! You treat me like animal! I want HALF, Eddie!"
not Cialis - you are thinking of those Enzyte commercials that run non-stop on FX after 7pm
That whole film you saw, sound like more of the same $hit, we are used to hearing nowdays.
Males have a biological strategy to impregnate as many women as possible--have lots of children by many different women, thus making sure that his genes carry on. Kind of the scattergun effort. This is the 'player'.
Women have a biological strategy to get get and hold one man, making sure that he only has children with her.
BUT, women can also get the hunky pool boy to sire their child but make the dutiful husband (aka a cabron) take care of both the child and the mother. That is what this article is talking about.
AND men can be hyperprotective of the woman and make sure that the child she gives birth to is really his--he puts all his effort into making sure THAT child or children, survive to continue his line.
This is fairly basic biology, but one's culture (i.e., Judeo-Christian values) tends to put a serious damper or amplify each type of the biological strategies.
it isn't just "impotence"
"erectile dysfunction" is a pretty broad brush, including the extreme of impotence but extending to milder conditions which basically equal "wow, I'm no longer 18 years old"
Women cheat because men who are attractive to them give them a little attention. When this happens the cheaters get a buzzin' between their legs that they can't control. It's a lot like the reason why men cheat.
I've been married for 37 years. I have a detective's mind, so I instinctively knew. I waited.."Revenge is a dish best served cold..". Her male partner has since been married twice, and divorced twice. My letters and photos to his wives sealed his fate. Child support for three children, plus an alimony. I remain married, but she knows that her punishment was the destruction of the "other" man that she briefly "loved." I have no regrets. I love my wife. But as I learned at age 19 as a young Marine in Vietnam, "Payback is a Mother F_cke_!
This is something I've wondered about: Why on earth would anyone marry someone who cheats and then expect them NOT to cheat?
BTW, in my medical practice experience, men who cheat vastly outnumber women who cheat. Maybe it's a Texas thing, but I don't think so.
http://www.familydynamics.net/becbookawards.htm
Here's a good website. Joe Beam teaches husbands and wives to "Become one."
Turn it over to God. He was the original Matchmaker, so don't be surprised when it happens.
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