Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
A guy I work with has married a beautiful Russian girl he met though some sort of agency.
She is lovely in appearance and disposition and he tells me many of the women he met through the dating agency were like her.
Im an old guy (been married 20 years to the same gal)and I have to say that if I were single today I wouldn't even bother with an American woman. The young ones Ive met are greedy and narcissistic the ones my age who are single have issues.
I am not speaking about ALL American women in any way ...Im sure there are some great ones out there ....somewhere....probably right here on FR.
I just pitty most single guys today (who are looking for a wife)
LOL
So, tell us about Brazillian woman. Should I keep trying for my Bruna from Sao Paulo?
12 years for me. And we still managed to surprise each other in good ways.
1. She was, uh, "depraved." The first day she showed up at work in the U.S., she wore a mini-skirt that looked like an ace bandage wrapped once around her @ss. Someone in the HR department had a little talk with her, and she never wore that kind of outfit again.
2. She was smart as hell. Two master's degrees . . . and I couldn't understand half the sh!t she was submitting with our work. I had a little talk with her, and told her that the documents we were preparing were for public consumption and therefore had to be toned down to "layman's terms."
3. She was servile, too. Every day a visitor showed up at the office, she greeted him/her and treated them like they were at home. Made sure to serve coffee to all visitors, too.
I'm sending for a Russian mail-order bride myself... Just gotta' get up the nerve to ask my wife for the money.
That's playing with fire.
Why do you ask? :-)
"In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same."
All this says is that men are more willing to admit to cheating. It doesn't necessarily say that men cheat more.
It's going to get worse, younger guys are hip to the scam that marriage is. The singles numbers are going to keep going up.
It may be but he's been married to her for over 5 years and is crazy about her. They have 2 kids and seem happy.
"That's playing with fire."
Why? How's it any worse than American females?
Enzyte (I thought it was Cialis) is a penile enhancer, if you can believe that. Do you remember seeing one of the ads for Enzyte when Bob dives in the pool, and his trunks fall off? Hysterical. All the women would not take their eyes off of him.
I truly don't believe in enhancers, but Viagra is a miracle drug for some men who just can't do it, but want to.
Cyber just told me that Clinton could not use Viagra or Cialis because he has a "bent one." He could truly be harmed by taking it.
At least I don't have that worry. My voice is a cabon copy of my Dad's so unless one of my uncles (who have the same unique sounding voice) did the dirty deed, then I am totally legit.
"Will the author's spellng improve? Maybe," DD said.
It's sad how some "modern" women think that the concept of liberation can be found in a pair of open thighs.
INteresting article.
1. She was, uh, "depraved."
2. She was smart as hell.
3. She was servile, too.
I've also only met one woman like that. She's now my girlfriend and I'm thinking on keeping her.... :)
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