You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
A woman is an occasional pleasure, but a cigar is always a smoke.
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.
We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is more than she ever did.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx