Said this womaan, "The terrorists blew up my car and put barbed wire everywhere."
Posted on 01/30/2005 4:10:51 AM PST by Lazamataz
Election In Iraq Fraught With Problems, Violence
The line stretched on into the distance, made up of listless and bored Iraqis waiting for their chance to try out the 'voting' fad. "I don't know why we bother," remarked Abdul Quatai, 36, "After all, you hear about how George Bush stole the 2000 and 2004 elections in America, and you think 'what's the point?'".
The dreary day was only punctuated by the occasional explosion, as Iraqs brave freedom-fighters attempted to thwart what they called "an American puppet-show". One Iraqi police officer was killed, putting the total number of dead up to its highest total ever. "It's kind of sad," said Ahmad al-Terbaj, "People are dying because America insists on having it their way."
Turnout was sporadic, and some say poor at the 30,000 voting polls scattered throughout the bomb-shattered country.
Said this womaan, "The terrorists blew up my car and put barbed wire everywhere."
In a gesture filled with both despair and ennui, an Iraqi citizen who refused to identify himself put the crudely, easily-altered ballot into the ballot-box under the menacing gaze of an heavily-armed Iraqi security specialist. "Guns scare me," he said, "Won't you please ban assault rifles in America? For the sweet little children?"
Brave freedom fighters, led my the mysterious and brilliant resistance general Zarqawi, had stunning successes, causing 12 deaths and dozens more wounded in a series of liberty-bombings. "I know they are doing it to save Iraq from this brutal American occupation," said Sharit S'wuiit, 12. Many Iraqis view America as an oppressive occupying army and urge America to quit Iraq so that Democrats in America will be proven right.
As the smoke cleared, and the bodies were removed from the winding lines of depressed, scared Iraqi voters, Iraqis were left to wonder if it was worth one life to have America force its will upon the tiny, distressed nation.
FreeperChicks bump.
Funny guy ping.
Saaayyyy, this isn't really a NYT story....
Serious Badass ping.
Yes it is.
I'm submitting it today. I figure with a story this slanted, they cannot HELP but hire me!
Random ping.
Local newscaster did an accidental Spoonerism and called it the "Big erection in Ilaq".
Bad news. The NYT has now hired you.
But think of all the damage I can do to Republicans!
Come clean, Laz....you're really on staff over there, aren't you?
The best part for me -- general Zarqawi, had stunning successes, causing 12 deaths and dozens more wounded
That about sums it up. Blow a few things up each day in a country the size of California with the population of NY & NJ combined, and there you have the "vast" terrorist capability.
The media puppets only paint it that way.
Freeprs who are online now ping.
It's worse.
I'm an Editor.
Could be worse.....I was thinkin' you were Pinch himself.....
Great satire Laz.
I enjoyed injecting that bit about American gun control in there. ;^)
*bump* to your future. Funny article - it has that element of truth in it.
Send resume and portfolio to Scrappleface immediately.....
Could you ping the great unwashed masses to this bit of liberal superiority?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.