Orthodox (Jewish) lesbian speaks to students at U of T (becomes a lesbian after watching Ellen)

Canadian Jewish Press ^ | 1/26

[West Coast Conservative]

Homosexual acts between women (i.e. lesbianism) were forbidden by the rabbis on the basis of "Do not follow the ways of Egypt where you once lived, nor of Canaan, where I will be bringing you. Do not follow [any] of their customs." (Leviticus 18:3). The oral law (Sifra there, 8:8) mentions that one of those negative "ways", i.e. ingrained characteristics, was the marriage of women to each other, as well as a man to a woman and her daughter. The Talmud follows this view, forbidding lesbianism. Like all Rabbinical prohibitions, violation can incur 39 lashes. Female homosexuality is regarded as less serious than male homosexuality.

Although, under Judaism, it is very difficult to get a conviction that would lead to the prescribed punishment (and in any case nowadays such cases are not judged) the severity of the punishment indicates the seriousness with which the act is seen.

Jewish views of homosexuality

[billorites]

"An Orthodox lesbian jew walks in to bar... "

Give me a glass of milk and an Egg McMuffin.

and hold the muffin.

[Redcloak]

So, if she watches The Godfather on TV, will she have a sudden craving for cannoli?

[rightwingcrazy]

Isn't that an oxymoron?

Only if it refers to the practice, rather than the orientation.

[gimme1ibertee]

I dunno so much about the oxy part, but moron sure fits.

[miskie]

After watching Ellen I wanted to become a capon.

After watching Ellen Play a nun on Friends, I wanted to become a cheesecake.
'oh what a friend we have in cheesecake!'

[montag813]

Chani has made peace with the fact that it is possible to be Orthodox and gay.

Sure...just like John Kerry has made peace with the "fact" that it's possible to be Catholic and pro-abortion.

[conshack]

Just because you identify with a tv personality doesn't make you gay.


Well I watched a John Wayne movie last night and I'll never be the same again.

[maggief]

By the time she was 17, she did what all the girls in her class did.

She got married, and by 21 she had three kids.

What "all the girls" in her class did?!?

:-/

[montag813]

Homosexual acts were forbidden by the rabbis on the basis of "Do not follow the ways of Egypt

Aint that the truth. Arabs are gayer than gay.

[small voice in the wilderness]

Wouldn't that make her an Orthodyke?

[Fiddlstix]

And she became a Jew after watching "Fiddler On The Roof"...

ROFLMAO!

[popdonnelly]

"Becomes a lesbian after watching Ellen."

I know how this works. I became a heterosexual after reading Playboy.

[Kurt_D]

Sounds like an article straight out of The Onion.

[TASMANIANRED]

I won't watch ellen, I'm caponophobic.

[Phsstpok]

“Chani” is also being torn between being true to herself and the religion she honours.

No. She doesn't "honor her religion." If she did she would renounce her "perversion" as spelled out in the Torah.

She might claim to be a reform Jew (VERY reform) but not orthodox.

It's like claiming "I'm a devaout Catholic but I don't hold with all this resurrection stuff, and don't start with the transubstantiation..."

Is it coincidence that the pseudonym "Chani" is from the druggy Dune, heavily involved with Arab myth and imagry?

[Cagey]

Became a lesbian after watching Ellen

Television is a very powerful medium. Kramer started having seizures after hearing Mary Hart's voice coming from a television.

[TexasNative2000]

I was really afraid the U of T they were talking about was University of Texas

If it were U of Texas she'd have to stand in line. . . . .

[Gunrunner2]

Actually. . .the line forms at Texas Womens University in Denton and runs south to Austin.

Yikes!!

[yer gonna put yer eye out]

This is either the most laughable put-on I've read recently, or this woman wins the "Airhead of the Century" award.