1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took there.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You! go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000.00 worth of improvements.
28. You have used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
You spray Fabreeze on your clothes instead of washing them.
I like the one about, "If you ever had your nipple bitten off......... by a beaver. You might be a redneck..."
31)You Crack Lobster with Channel Locks, I generally use the fat end of a crescent wrench.
Can I claim honorary neo-redneck status if my working computer sits on top of my non-working computer?
As God as my witness, I know a fellow that has a broken cabinet TV that he just closed the door on and used it as a TV stand for his second TV. When that one quit on him, he bought a new TV and set it on top of the second TV which was still on top of the cabinet TV. But the ultimate kicker?..... All this has gone on since AFTER he won $2.5 million in his state lottery.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
I guess I qualify, then. I'd never even buy a truck unless I knew how many bales I could get in it, just in case the hay guy couldn't make a delivery.
The Mommy Minivan I drive can outhaul most little pickups!
31. Your wife has ever said to you "Honey, come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"
"1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree."
LOLL My hubby "goes" outside all the time (we live way out in the boonies) and our little 4 pound male yorkie goes out with him. When Hubby is through, Waya goes over and pees over his spot. Bigger dog. LOL
bump for later
You know you're a redneck when...
you mow your yard and find a car in it....
#27 and #29 are just jokes. The rest are pretty real and do or have applied at some time in my life. What can I say?