YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF......

e-mail | 01-24-05 | ME

[TexasCowboy]

Did you rehang your shingle when you moved down from Yankee country?

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Yes, but you are beyond my expertise and/or ability to even fathom..........you need super industrial strength therapy - let me see if Conspiracy Guy can give you the name of his therapist........ ;^)

[Conspiracy Guy]

My therapist committed suicide out of frustration.

[Hi Heels]

Prolly saw that mole rat....

[TexasCowboy]

I'll jist go have a wild sex party with Bessie Mae.

That always fixes me right up!

[Hi Heels]

I'm assuming this is NOT Bessie Mae...

[Conspiracy Guy]

could be

[Conspiracy Guy]

OK then

[MeekOneGOP]

"ok, this is worse than any mole rat....."

hahahahaaaa! :^D

http://RMeek141.home.comcast.net/AfricanNakedMoleRatPancake.JPG

My brand new redition of CG's pic.

[Hi Heels]

HAHAHAHahaha... oh it hurts..... grossed out and LMAO at the same time.... EEEEWWWWWWWWW.... gawd... who's for IHOP?

[MeekOneGOP]

hehe! Lez go. :^)

[TexasCowboy]

"I'm assuming this is NOT Bessie Mae..."

'Course that's Bessie Mae! Cutest little filly this side of the Chatahoutchie!

(Shore hope she don't wanna git on top again! Had to have CPR last time!)

[Conservababe]

[Conspiracy Guy]

This is Bessie Mae.

[johnandrhonda]

If you've ever worn camouflage pants--to church.

[houeto]

#27 and #29 are just jokes. The rest are pretty real and do or have applied at some time in my life. What can I say?

[knews_hound]

BBTTT

[trussell]

LOL!!

[Conspiracy Guy]

Livin good and livin easy.

[Libloather]

A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for a whole month."

The couple agreed.

After two and a half weeks, they returned to the church. While the pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously distraught.

"Is there a problem?" the pastor asked.

"We're terribly ashamed," the young man said. "We didn't manage to abstain from sex for the required month."

"Tell me what happened son," said the pastor.

"Well," the young man explained, "the first week was difficult, but we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but we prayed and prayed for strength, and we managed to abstain. The third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts. But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with her right there and then."

The young man looked ashamed. So did his wife.

"You understand that this means you will not be welcome in our church," said the pastor.

"We know," said the young woman, hanging her head. "We're not very welcome at Home Depot, either."