God, it's so great to watch Dowd just implode in a public forum. Gosh, it's so hard to imagine why a guy would reject such a spiteful, bitter, bloodless corpse as Dowd.
Posted on 01/13/2005 4:53:28 AM PST by Jim Noble
A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."
I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.
Women in staff support are the new sirens because, as a guy I know put it, they look upon the men they work for as "the moon, the sun and the stars." It's all about orbiting, serving and salaaming their Sun Gods.
In all those great Tracy/Hepburn movies more than a half-century ago, it was the snap and crackle of a romance between equals that was so exciting. Moviemakers these days seem far more interested in the soothing aura of romances between unequals.
In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef, falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr. Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking, overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has just lost her job with a commercial design firm. Picture Faye Dunaway in "Network" if she'd had to stay home, or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" without the charm.
The same attraction of unequals animated Richard Curtis's "Love Actually," a 2003 holiday hit. The witty and sophisticated British prime minister, played by Hugh Grant, falls for the chubby girl who wheels the tea and scones into his office. A businessman married to the substantial Emma Thompson falls for his sultry secretary. A writer falls for his maid, who speaks only Portuguese.
(I wonder if the trend in making maids who don't speak English heroines is related to the trend of guys who like to watch Kelly Ripa in the morning with the sound turned off?)
Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.
As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame."
A new study by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women who are supervisors.
As Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of the study, summed it up for reporters: "Powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women." Men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them.
"The hypothesis," Dr. Brown said, "is that there are evolutionary pressures on males to take steps to minimize the risk of raising offspring that are not their own." Women, by contrast, did not show a marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or below them. And men did not show a preference when it came to one-night stands.
A second study, which was by researchers at four British universities and reported last week, suggested that smart men with demanding jobs would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals. The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get married, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.
So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax? The more women achieve, the less desirable they are? Women want to be in a relationship with guys they can seriously talk to - unfortunately, a lot of those guys want to be in relationships with women they don't have to talk to.
I asked the actress and writer Carrie Fisher, on the East Coast to promote her novel "The Best Awful," who confirmed that women who challenge men are in trouble.
"I haven't dated in 12 million years," she said drily. "I gave up on dating powerful men because they wanted to date women in the service professions. So I decided to date guys in the service professions. But then I found out that kings want to be treated like kings, and consorts want to be treated like kings, too."
E-mail: liberties@nytimes.com
Of course not. A woman or a man who settles for casual sex isn't worth marrying. They tend to find each other.
I find it funny that every criticism one sex has toward the other goes both ways. It's become a vicious circle. One gets burned, blames all of it on all the members of the other sex, never takes responsibility for their own stupid choice or the ways they contributed to the downfall of the relationship (e.g. following hormones instead of good sense, for example) and therefore never learns how to avoid the losers.
Therefore, the losers keep ending up with losers who only want to play at the shallow end of the pool.
Please don't take it personally..
First, I was "venting"..
Secondly, I am bitter.. ;o)
Third, I am (probably) a bit of a mysoginist..
Certain events in my life have made me so..
Sadly, the women in my life have not given me cause to respect them, and I tend to generalize..
No problem.
I am sorry your life hasn't gone the way you wanted.
I hope you get your kids. : )
... nothing can 'make you' so....
Ask Shaggy eel. Plenty of reason to be bitter at women.
,,, no, just one, for a while. I only have myself to blame for making a stupid choice and making it too early in my life.
Got the best of the best this time round - as you know.
God, it's so great to watch Dowd just implode in a public forum. Gosh, it's so hard to imagine why a guy would reject such a spiteful, bitter, bloodless corpse as Dowd.
Have you ever seen the hbo program "Sex and the City"? It depicts four “supposedly” successful single women essentially screwing their way through New York City. This show is wildly popular in the female 18-45 age demographic. These women are role models for young American women.
An even more popular show is "desperate housewives". It depicts women in many illicit sexual affairs.
Many young women nowadays under the age of 30 have already has 100+ plus sex partners
Given the popularity of these programs in the female demographic and promiscuity in the female population, I ask you who is really using who?
I am dissappointed to see you in this forum. I thought it was a upstanding moral place. I hope guys like you are rare in here. It's pretty obvious that American men are marrying less. So, your assumption is that women are marrying the same or more? Who's marrying them?
I suggest you get over your disappointment and desist with your personal attacks. You will find all types here on free republic. One of the most important qualifications to be here is the ability to debate the issues. You’ve flunked that one. I make no assumptions about who American women are marrying. The posted article is a lament from some supposedly successful American woman who can’t find a husband. My position is that American men are marrying less because it’s a sucker’s racket. American women initiate 70% of divorces. The courts are against men. Intelligent and successful men are avoiding marriage in greater numbers, especially in the 20-35 demographic. My position is also that there are women from other cultures who value marriage and family FAR above American women. The internet and cheap airfares make them much more accessible. They haven’t been indoctrinated with a lifetime of fem-nazism. They are highly desirable wives and mothers. American men are increasingly going overseas to find wives. I don’t blame them.
Why did I have to click on this thread?
Sounds like Marge Simpson.
I don’t hate American women. They’re fun and great for casual sex. Most of them have pursued me. I have yet to have one run away.
As for marrying an American women, no way. They divorce with great frequency, the courts are on their side and they have had a lifetime of fem-nazi indoctrination. The article bears out what I have known for a long time. The 46-year-old “successful” American woman is whining because she can’t find a husband. It’s not that she can’t find a husband, it’s that the men don’t want her. For whatever reason.
American men, especially in the 20-35 demographic are marrying less. It’s a sucker’s racket to marry an American woman, “independent” or not
My position is also that there are women from other cultures who value marriage and family FAR above American women. The internet and cheap airfares make them much more accessible. They haven’t been indoctrinated with a lifetime of fem-nazism. They are highly desirable wives and mothers. American men are increasingly going overseas to find wives. I don’t blame them.
That sounds way too much like David Bowie in Labyrinth: "just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."
If you have to cosset someone, you definitely do not rule the roost.
I know I often feel like my husband's personal secretary. I think his mom would tell him to do it himself.
Women want what they do not have....If you are hard ...they want emotional,,,,if your emotional they want hard...Play the game and let it roll.
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