Greatest... article... title... ever!What a compelling headline.
Greatest... article... title... ever!He was missing for 12 hours and thought he needed to eat raw duck meat? Sheesh.
This story has ducks, undies, camo and an excellent headline, all bases are covered.
Going along with a theme based on the stories title, was it the bayou water or the raw duck meat that made him break out in spots?
We know how the idiot is - HOW'S THE DOG?
What they don't tell you is the fact that those "undies" formed a flag 4' X 8'...
1. Water
2. Space blanket
3. Emergency rations
4. Map and compass
5. GPS receiver
6. Flare gun
7. Satellite telephone
8. Rocket pack
9. Supermodel in a Leather Teddy (this is optional but makes getting lost much more fun).
I hate it when that happens.
If you're thinking about going to the mall in that snappy aluminum-lined underwear in the back of your dresser drawer, think again.
Beginning Sunday, it will be illegal in Colorado to wear aluminum underwear.
OK, there's a caveat. You can wear aluminum briefs and lingerie as long as it's for personal amusement - but not if it is to help steal by foiling stores' anti-shoplifting devices.
The new law, surely the oddest of the dozens coming out of this season's legislative session, is no laughing matter ... really.
"This is serious business," said Sen. Stephanie Takis, D-Aurora, one of the bill's sponsors. "We have laws against using crowbars as theft devices, but if you were lining your underwear with aluminum foil, that was not a crime."
And by golly, said Takis, it should be. She cited several Denver-area malls that have caught shoplifters with aluminum-lined shopping bags and even the so-called "iron pants" and could do nothing to stop it.
Steve Miller, an attorney with the Legislative Council, helped draft the bill: "I don't know if it was the highlight of my career, but I got the assignment."
Miller said the bill went through several evolutions - "or devolutions depending on your viewpoint" - before it received Gov. Bill Owens' approval.
Essentially, it makes it a misdemeanor to make, wear or know others are wearing aluminum underwear if they intend to use it to fool stores' theft-protection devices. Those devices electronically sense when merchandise leaving the store hasn't been handled by a cashier, and foil can interfere with that detection.
Miller said the new law also gives store employees civil and criminal immunity if they stop shoppers who crackle when they walk.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
MEMORIALIZED IN SONG --
YOU DON'T BRING ME FLOWERS ANYMORE
I go to the K-Mart…what looks good for stealing?
I think I'll take a Gameboy today…'cause the ol’ welfare check leaves no money for play
Colorado sucks…minorities will suffer…on them it gets tougher
I worked for many years at my craft
Now they’ve passed a law and I know they all laughed
Once again the little guy is getting the shaft
I can’t wear my tinfoil underwear
The scanners I’ve defeated…’though gonads overheated
I guess it isn’t too high a price…‘cause I got lots of stuff that was really quite nice
They caught me stealing Spackle…when they heard the crackle
I worked for so many, many years at my craft
Now they’ve passed that darn law and I know they all laughed
Again you can see little guys will get the shaft
I can’t wear my tinfoil underwear
They passed that darn law…I know they laughed
Once again it is the little guy who gets the shaft
I can’t wear my tinfoil underwear
Well, Josey Wales WAS eying the duck suspiciously. The man had to take action in a hurry.
This story is fertile ground for a Jeff Foxworthy show.
ate a raw duck breast before he was spotted.
The French think nothing of this.
Canard Sauvage Tatar...
Great headline...
Good thing he wasn't going commando.
Why the heck did he eat it raw? Didn't he know how to build a campfire? Well, I guess if he was wandering around a swamp, maybe there wasn't any place to build one? Well, either way, he got himself lost, so he obviously didn't bring a compass. The underwear was a good idea, but I hope for his mother's sake that it was clean.
You can live up to thirty days without food and up to three days without water?
What wine should one serve with raw duck?
My hubby just got 2 pair of camouflage undershorts from Bass Pro Shop for Christmas!
(He'll have to remember to carry his GPS and his survival kit!)