Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
I like the cut of your jib, Dan.
How old are you...12,16,20?
Jewish tradition still recognized Lilith. The early Christian church did too. You think I'm a Gnostic? LOL
You have no idea what I do or do not believe,nor what religion I am.But that's par for the course,since you don't know much of anything at all,but imagine that you are some kind of "expert" and GOD's messenger and enforcer. Boy are YOU ever in for a shock and probably a lot sooner,than I am.
I pity you,so save your phony "sympathy" for me.
Just out of curiosity,why do you hate your mother?
You aren't married,are you? Women really frighten you something awful...don't they. LOL
Unfortunatly, I'm an expert....on mid level bureaucrats.
But since you decided to bring it up again,I suggest that you immediately go get your Bible (you DO own one,don't you?),go directly to the OT,and read up on Jezebel,sweety. Obviously,you are utterly unfamiliar with her story.:-)
Ok, I'll bite.
What religion are you if you don't mind me asking.
BigMack
I've been divorced TWICE and I know it's a sin and you suffer the consequences daily. On the other hand, life goes on, and I am happily married and this better be my last marriage - and I mean it. It would literally kill me to have to go through that hell again.
You are a hypocrite of the first order.
My condolences.
What's the matter,dear,feeling all alone;jealous?
Re: Your post 957 . . .
Hammer, meet Nail.
Pure unadulterated liberalism. EXACTLY the mindset that gives us sky-high taxes on alcohol and tobacco.
2) REQUIRE 6 MONTHS OF 3 HRS/WEEK OF MARRIAGE TRAINING/COUNSELING BEFORE ALLOWING ANY MARRIAGE. No exceptions.
More liberalism. I know you mean well, but step back for a just a moment and look at the extreme power you're giving the state over the most private of decisions. I don't know what needs to be done to fix marriage, but I know for certain that giving the state more control is not the answer. This is really the heart of the liberal mindset: Government must do something.
3) ANYONE SHACKING UP longer than 2 weeks WITHOUT 2 ABOVE should be taxed double their federal income tax with the extra going to the divorce remedy fund. NO exceptions
Hell, you're not only giving the state more power now, but this particular solution is going to require police powers to ascertain who's living with whom and for how long. No go, bad plan. Imagine the bureacracy necessary to ascertain your whereabouts every day of the year, which would be necessary to insure that two people didn't spend a whole vacation (2 weeks) in the same hotel room.
4) Those making so little as to avoid 3 above would be moved to a group home where furnishings were sparse; walls bare concrete; 4 hour weekly group meetings and 1 hour family counseling mandatory; 10% of their income would manditorily go into savings. Half of that would go to divorce remedy fund; group home would be led by live-in couple very successful at marriage and family. Family could not leave the group home until they had sufficient employment and down payment on at least a plot and a trailer. . . . Group home would be constructed with parent family in hub with 3-4 spokes to other family rooms. kitchen and dining would be centered, shared.
A prison by any other name is still a prison. A group home where you cannot leave under penalty of law is a prison. You're suggesting imprisoning people who can't pay a screwed up penalty tax for shacking up. This makes sense to you? Good grief man, Stalin is looking at this plan and thinking it's a little totalitarian for his tastes.
5) Single parent moms would also be housed with the fathers of their children in a similar group home with similar limitations and requirements. No exceptions. Fool hardiness, carelessness in the sack would be met with forced limitations on living options wholesale.
Again, you're hiding the truth behind euphamisms. You're advocating imprisoning single parents now. With their offspring no less. Aside from the insane fascism, on a practical level the whole idea fails. I can just imagine the poor kids who grow up in your prison. It would make growing up in a single parent household seem like paradise by comparison.
The Bible was written by man. Interpretations are done by man.
NONE of you are fit to judge the actions of anyone in this thread.
Methodist.
Far too much garbage is being posted to News/activism!
If there is going to be such a list (and I'm beginning to think there should be,to counter those who menace others with damned cherry-picked scripture!),I'm sure you'll be on it. :-)
He needs to start documenting all of this, so if and when she divorces him, he can recoup some of that money in court. The way this man is being treated is not right, in fact he is being abused. His brain probably shut off a long time ago, so he'll get run over in court. Hopefully, someone can get through to him before that happens.
It is not okay for anyone to be treated like the man you posted about. This is why I finally obtained a divorce ;-)
Fine with me.
Sooooooooooooo,
What's your grand and effective solution, hot shot?
XIE, XIE!
GONG SHEE GONG SHEE!
GONG SHEE FAT TSAI!
TRUE! TRUE! TRUE!
WONDERFUL.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, how about being an expert at solving the problems divorce is and causes!
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