Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
Imo Jesus died for us because no one, NO ONE, could keep the Law to perfection and all came short of the Glory of God.
We are saved by Grace through Faith, not of works lest anyone should boast.
My 1st wife left me and went to another state with no intentions of returning, its absurd to think God would condemn me for accepting the loss, divorcing, and remarrying.
Thanks to my preacher for setting me straight on this a decade ago.
Sometimes I can't believe we vote for the same people.
Bump to your post.
Why would you even be interested in a thread about the Christian theology of divorce?
All of you, knock off the personal attacks.
Thanks.
The difference between us and them is that we actually understand that God and Christ mocked people who judged others.
May I echo your thanks? :) And since I didn't say it so simply before, let me apologize to anyone that I offended, as well.
What exactly am I angry or guilty about? Since you have set yourself up as "the" authority on this thread, what are MY problems?
And I do mean other than having to scroll past that specious drivel you've been posting.
Ditto.
There is a lot of hurt on this thread. I'm sorry if I contributed to it.
I apologize, Howlin.
And, as I've said in about 10 posts on this thread, I'm not an authority or a model of virtue. Not by any means.
You ducked my question; we can all assume it was hyperbole.
B) You said:
What about those women who marry American men, and lie to the men about their motives ( the woman's true motives are to marry a AMERICAN man, to get to the USA, a GREEN CARD SEEKER ) .
Men who shop for mail order brides aren't right in the head to begin with. They are thinking they will find some innocent submissive wife; many times they find trouble instead.
Many men also marry women with mnoney. Get a pre-nup. Just mentioning it will quickly seperate the gold diggers from the ones truly in love.
Homosexual *acts* are the only sin referred to in the Bible as "abomination."
Not so.
Not by a long shot ...Biblical Abominations ...
... eating the flesh of a peace offering on the third day or after. The remainder of the peace offering is to be burnt to ashes on the third day. Leviticus 7:17-19
... eating unfinned and/or unscaled seafood. Leviticus 11:10-12
... eating the eagle, osprey, vulture, pig, ... and any other animals declared unclean. Leviticus 11:13-47
... homsexual acts. Leviticus 18:22, 20:13
... idolatry. Deuteronomy 7:25-26, 13:13-15, 17:3-5
... child sacrifice. Deuteronomy 12:30-32
... offering blemished animals for sacrifice. Deuteronomy 17:1-3
... occultic activity. Deut. 18:11-13
... cross-dressing. Deut. 22:4-6
... religious prostitution. Deut. 23:17-18
... remarrying one which you have divorced and which has married another. Deut. 23:3-5
... using false weights/balances to cheat those with whom you do business. Deut. 25:13-16, Proverbs 20:10, 20:23, Prov. 11:1, Prov. 20:23
... the making of an idol. Deut. 27:15
... the idols of the Canaanites. I Kings 11:4-8, II Kings 23:13
... a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart which devises wicked imaginations, feet that are swift to run to mischief, a false witness which speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. Prov. 6:16
... the froward (stubbornly contrary and disobedient). Prov. 3:32, 11:20
... lying lips. Prov 12:22
... the sacrifice of the wicked. Prov. 15:8, 21:27
... the way of the wicked. Prov. 15:9
... the thoughts of the wicked. Prov. 15:26
... everyone that is proud in heart. Prov. 16:5
... for the king to commit wickedness. Prov. 16:12
... he that justifieth the wicked, ... and he that condemneth the just. Prov. 17:15
... the prayer of them that won't hear God's law. Prov. 28:9
But why don't you answer my question instead:
Why should someone feel guilty about divorcing someone? Especially if that person were abusive?
QUITE SO.
Thx.
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