Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
Of course you! LOL
I know a girl from the "old days" who was sent off to school at seven. Basically returned for Christmas and a week or two in the summer. Total amount of time spent with her parents after the age of seven was probably under 6 months. Remarkably, after a rocky start in "the real world" she seemed to turn out just fine.
Oh, I know. We've still got a few years before we need to worry about that, but he swears she will not date guys like him.....
Typical daddy. I remember my father daying something similar, but I was 20 by that time.
Yikes, stop - you're giving me a swelled head.
love you too :-)
No need to blush - that was a great rant!!!!!
Things happen!!!!
This woman, whoever she is, clearly has some unresolved guilt and/or anger about her situation. She out to spend more time working that out and a little less time arguing for a "Christian" theology of divorce rooted in her own personal tragedies.
Anyway, if she wants to start a sympathy thread somewhere, that's fine with me. My understanding of this thread is that it is about the theological correctness of divorce.
Good for you. All of you.
But, as I recall, Jeremiah said that the worst sin of Soddom and Gomorrah was
. . .
. . .
. . .
PRIDE
And I don't know anyone who's been totally free of that one.
For all the good it will do, unfortunately. I'm almost ready to just move away from this thread, to be honest. Seeing all these people professing to be Christians and then saying such nasty things to others who have had the misfortune they themselves have been lucky enough to avoid is really beginning to upset me. Not make me mad, you understand, I am well past that now.
It's just crushing.
He may not be addicted/obsessed with screwing around. But I think the odds are high that he's addicted/obsessed with something.
It could even be a twisted sort of religious mentality. He sounds plenty destructive and dangerous and the pastor needs to be educated until he understand that--the dork.
Am I the only one who feels just a little cheated by the "worst sin" being "Pride?"
You've got no clue about what you are talking about, nor any clue about who you are talking about.
I've got no guilt or anger to deal with and have an extremely happy life.
You projecting your own shortcomings upon me is fine, but it would help you if you realized just how unhappy/guilty/angry you, yourself are. It might just help you with your dealings with others.
I won't hold my breath, as you've shown you're of the type that never sees themselves for what they are.
The way I understand it, sir, is that it directly addresses the idea of whether or not certain instances are acceptable for divorce. Some have stated that her particular situation is not, that God would view her as a sinner for leaving a bad situation. Tell me, isn't that a legitimate situation? She firmly believes it is...I don't think you are trying to say that defending that belief is out of order. Perhaps you don't care for that. You can disagree, certainly, but you are mostly mocking her, it appears. I have read your other posts to her, and they seemed nasty and dismissive.
That is why I said what I did.
Sanctimonious twit.
Perhaps you're right. All I have to go on is what you have typed in this thread. But I can tell you that, to this neutral observer, you come off as being defensive and irrational where the morality of divorce is concerned. In my experience, those reactions tend to arise from guilt.
Anyway, best of luck to you.
I hope you mean him, and not me! :)
Not all homosexual men were molested.
I don't recall the stats. But it's certainly not 100%.
Certainly, many were.
There are a LOT of factors involved.
The best insurance against it is healthy marriage of parents and lots of healthy bonding and lots of healthy affection from a healthy dad.
I' betwixt and between as to bailing out or not at this point.
I'm still wainting to find out why you and I are not "as" married as some of the others. Or why I'm such an evil person because I divorced my first husband because he was abusive.
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