Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
Agree about a lot of the church counseling.
Not all of it. Many marriages are stopped that shouldn't be, because of it.
Silly? Not as silly as ignoring God's standards . . . and suffering judgment therefore.
THERE IS *NO* FREEDOM WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITY. IGNORING THE RESPONSIBILITIES, EVENTUALLY RESULTS IN A SUBTRACTION--MAYBE A BIG SUBTRACTION OF FREEDOMS. You can call that draconian, if you wish.
Not as draconian as the tsunami. Not as draconian as the judgment headed for the USA. Not NEAR that draconian.
God will not long be mocked. Especially in our era. Toooooo much is stored up by people far too long too blessed with too much truth--to which they've been giving the middle finger along with to THE TRUTH'S SOURCE, AUTHOR--GOD ALMIGHTY.
THAT'S SILLY.
I feel sorry for his wife and daughters!
I've seen an amazing number of those.
My heart goes out to them.
We all have trouble saying no to some things . . . hopefully not to that degree.
I almost ache and weap to see some of them. I'm more embarrassed for them, than they are.
I just have to wonder if this is one of these made up stats that zealots (I don't mean you) like to repeat. Its just common sense that a child growing up in a dysfunctional home isn't the best environment for a child.
Lots and lots of nutters on this thread. Put them in their place or ignore them. :-)
I felt a huge mountain lift off when wife married her co-worker. No children.
The Scripture about a contentious woman is like a continual dripping took on new meaning when it was suddenly gone.
I married for life and was doing almost as well as I knew how. Was expecting to do so the rest of my life regardless.
But I've been much more blessed since.
Still, I would not recommend it or support it in any general sense except in cases of physical abuse or chronic neglect and emotional abuse that is stubbornly resistent to correction.
Horse pucky!
No danger of such happening.
But, it's NOT AS MUCH LUNACY as the suffering currently flooding our nation due to the casual attitude toward divorce. NOT NEAR AS MUCH LUNACY.
Sooooooooooooo, what better ideas do YOU have?
Thank you!!!!!!!!
My daughter is only 6.......and Daddy has already determined she will not date until she is at least 21 or out of college! He has also mentioned all-girl boarding school. His attitude is that he remembers what he was like as a teenager and wants to protect his daughter from jerks like him!!!!!
I thought the Bible was pretty clear, in the Commandments, that adultry is a sin. I think the people who oppose gay marriage should also try to recriminalise adultry and end no-fault divorces, with the party at fault facing jail time.
Great rant!!!!!!!
I have no idea what you are talking about.
Hmmm...all-girls schools are notorious breeding grounds for lesbian 'phases'. Safe [in some respects], but perhaps not what you had in mind.
Sadly, experience [or great models] is still the best teacher. Ther jerks will still be there when she's 21 and at college you will have no control over anything.
This is just one of those "denial is the first symptom" fallacies.
In terms of humans . . .
since Christ ascended . . .
there is none righteous, no, not one.
I feel sorry for the spouses and offspring of any of the santimonious twits.
Neither did it "stop" any of the planned marriages from taking place.
I absolutely refuse,outright,to get into the gutter with you ,re the "wrath of GOD on the USA".The tsunami wasn't GOD's punishment and neither was 9/11.
Even the Taliban didn't enact what you proposed. LOL
It did me, Howlin.
And, I'm very thankfull to be better--though I earnestly tried hard at my marriage. I listened, drew my wife out nightly after work; bought her clothes she got more compliments on than those she selected etc. But I wasn't macho enough, interestingly.
Anyhow--obedience is still better than sacrifice.
I can look back and see priorities I should have tried even harder at. And, she had some daddy stuff in the way somehow that in her counseling after the divorce, surfaced and she noted that I was right and a good man. That and $5 will get half a cup of coffee. . .
anyway--there's got to be better ways to becoming a better person than the traumas of divorce. Otherwise, this society is sunk.
But then it's sunk anyway for a lot of other reasons.
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