Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
In the Navy? Girl, you should have been in the AF. We didn't do stuff like that. Actually being in the AF was more like attending college and living in the dorm.
I prefer the aisle seat......... *grin*
ROFL!!!!!!!!
Good!!!!!!!!!
A good friend of mine is in the AF...I used to tease her all the time about her "corporate job". LOL
LOL
Sounds like my house...........and he actually does laundry and dishes of occassion!!!!
He came back,and STILL didn't answer the questions...just played at being a "preacher". LOL
I have no problem with a disagrreeing debate........I lose all respect for the hit-and-runners. And there seems to be a large number of them on this thread.
You're right. I don't need anyone to tell me I'm married, I know so.......as does my husband, God, the commonwealth of Virginia and the IRS.........
Unfortunately that virtue, along with those of tolerance, compassion, and understanding seem to be lacking amongst a great many of the so-called "Christians" on this thread.
I think the problem has to be tackled in the family; schools and media wholesale. Won't happen before Jesus returns. Then He'll take care of it top to bottom.
But, if we were going to tackle it . . .
1) ANYTHING that contributed to the cultural gestalt that divorce was no big thing should be taxed severely. Pool the money for anti-divorce education as well as cleaning up the mess from divorce.
2) REQUIRE 6 MONTHS OF 3 HRS/WEEK OF MARRIAGE TRAINING/COUNSELING BEFORE ALLOWING ANY MARRIAGE. No exceptions.
3) ANYONE SHACKING UP longer than 2 weeks WITHOUT 2 ABOVE should be taxed double their federal income tax with the extra going to the divorce remedy fund. NO exceptions.
4) Those making so little as to avoid 3 above would be moved to a group home where furnishings were sparse; walls bare concrete; 4 hour weekly group meetings and 1 hour family counseling mandatory; 10% of their income would manditorily go into savings. Half of that would go to divorce remedy fund; group home would be led by live-in couple very successful at marriage and family. Family could not leave the group home until they had sufficient employment and down payment on at least a plot and a trailer. . . . Group home would be constructed with parent family in hub with 3-4 spokes to other family rooms. kitchen and dining would be centered, shared.
5) Single parent moms would also be housed with the fathers of their children in a similar group home with similar limitations and requirements. No exceptions. Fool hardiness, carelessness in the sack would be met with forced limitations on living options wholesale.
6) No idiot liberals advocating mindless 'freedoms' could be group home parents.
THERE IS NO FREEDOM WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITY.
--VIKTOR FRANKEL
How do you get them to do that???????? I only have one and have absolutely no luck getting her to put away ANYTHING unless she is playing at the dining room table.
Same here.
BRAVA!
They don't get to do what they want to do next until it's done. They've learned that I mean it, too. :)
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