Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

The Sin of Divorce
Renew America ^ | 01/04/2005 | Adam Graham

Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt

The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.

While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.

The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.

There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.

We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.

On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.

To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.

Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.

Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.

The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.

Secular Action

The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.

The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.

Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.

Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: adulterers; adultery; churchlady; divorce; divorcees; godsnaturallaw; godsquad; hell; holierthanthou; hubbyleftme4another; hubbymarriedparamour; isntthatspecial; ivorytower; jesushatesyou; marriage; mortalsin; neverallowed; nowtheyaredivorced; pompouspiouspukes; separation; separationnecessary; sin; sinners; therapeuticseparatn
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 241-260261-280281-300 ... 1,101-1,116 next last
To: Bella_Bru
Weird. The lebians I know don't hate men. In fact, many have good male friends. They just aren't attracted to them.

Not being attracted to a particular man is not the symptom. Not being attracted to any man is. I have no doubt that many lesbians have good male friends, but those friendships are not of the type normally experienced by men and women; and I am not talking about romantic types of relationships. They are more like relationships non-lesbians would have with their girlfriends.

261 posted on 01/04/2005 2:40:49 PM PST by connectthedots
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 235 | View Replies]

To: benice

Yes. But note the point of the article, that as Christians we should "go and sin no more".


262 posted on 01/04/2005 2:41:21 PM PST by k2blader (It is neither compassionate nor conservative to support the expansion of socialism.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 255 | View Replies]

To: Labyrinthos

"So then why do we judge homosexuals with so much more hostility than divorcees and adulterers? I don't see where the Bible draws a distinction on the sin scale."

Homosexual *acts* are the only sin referred to in the Bible as "abomination." That's where.


263 posted on 01/04/2005 2:42:04 PM PST by dsc
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 240 | View Replies]

To: Jim Noble
Thanks for the reply. The reason that I ask(ed) is that I too am remarried - my wife's 2nd marriage as well. One of the most difficult issues we have encountered is the passage of scripture where our marriage is called adultery/sin (Mark 10:10-12). I counseled with our Pastor about this, and then prayerfully confessed to God that we had sinned because of our remarriage, and asked for His forgiveness - I remain remarried and completely blessed by her. I rest fully in the promise of 1st John 1:9.

I agree with the author of the article that the sin of divorce is a big problem. It is also a problem in today's church where so many who have been divorced are treated like 2nd class Christians by the pious. It's almost like some consider the Blood of Jesus to be not quite good enough to cleanse the sin of divorce.

264 posted on 01/04/2005 2:43:14 PM PST by Hat-Trick (Do you trust a government that cannot trust you with guns?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 238 | View Replies]

To: Gabz

That's why I said 'generally'. You also might be surprised at the things you don't know about the histories of some of your friends.


265 posted on 01/04/2005 2:43:21 PM PST by connectthedots
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 258 | View Replies]

To: k2blader

You're insane.


266 posted on 01/04/2005 2:44:13 PM PST by Gabz (Happy New Year)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 248 | View Replies]

To: k2blader

yeah but, homosexuality better than hetro promiscuity? That's a new one on me. you suggesting I find myself a good man?


267 posted on 01/04/2005 2:44:24 PM PST by notigar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 257 | View Replies]

To: Wiser now
My daughter is in the process of being divorced from a man who is clearly insane. His own parents believe his visitation with their chidren should be supervised for the well being of the children. A few hours worth of classes before they married would not have uncovered the kind of paranoia that calls his innocent wife "The whore of Babylon". He has managed to drag the divorce out for months longer than necessary by firing and then hiring attorneys and starting the whole process from the beginning.

If this is the case, your daughter's ordeal has just begun. The "whore of babylon comment" is projection. If she hasn't already been tested for STD's yet, I recommend that she go now. Her ex is exihibiting something called "projection". He's been screwing around behind her back and blaming her for it. Your grandbabies will be scarred by parental alienation, and he will will use her own children against her. Once he finds an "enabler", look forward to the false reports filed to CPS(or whatever those idiots call themselves in your neck of the woods). I'm waiting for the next knock on the door, courtesy of an abusive sociopath and his enabler. I have 8 years of harassment to endure, unless I can get enough money for a piranha for a lawyer. Legal aid ain't gonna work anymore.

False prophets are many, and your stbx sil found one. You and your family have my prayers and best wishes, friend....

268 posted on 01/04/2005 2:45:02 PM PST by TheSpottedOwl (noapologies)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 164 | View Replies]

To: MayflowerMadam

"I think my mom, the minister's wife/doormat, has been offering up the abuse to God for 60 years now and I don't see that it's done a bit of good."

Ever heard of "heroic virtue?" Perhaps your mom is laying up her treasures in Heaven.


269 posted on 01/04/2005 2:45:12 PM PST by dsc
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 207 | View Replies]

To: Gabz; mariabush
I don't know about your God, but my God blessed me with the common sense to get out of a bad marriage and save my life.

Anyone who would dare to think you were wrong has absolutely no brains.

270 posted on 01/04/2005 2:45:47 PM PST by connectthedots
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 251 | View Replies]

To: mariabush

Perhaps...but she was decidedly NOT sorry, so I don't think it could have worked out anyway. It's a little hard to forgive someone who isn't the least bit contrite, except about being caught.


271 posted on 01/04/2005 2:46:03 PM PST by exnavychick (I'm no expert, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 259 | View Replies]

To: Gabz

Why do you consider a belief in God's Word to be insane?


272 posted on 01/04/2005 2:46:15 PM PST by k2blader (It is neither compassionate nor conservative to support the expansion of socialism.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 266 | View Replies]

To: Saltmeat

I like your idea on divorce. I am divorced but read 1 John 1:9 and realize that the sin of divorce or any other sin can be forgiven, fortunately for all of us who have and will sin.


273 posted on 01/04/2005 2:46:42 PM PST by southland (forgiven)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 236 | View Replies]

To: notigar

God does not hate ugly lesbians, He just hates their sin.


274 posted on 01/04/2005 2:46:45 PM PST by Coldwater Creek ('We voted like we prayed")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 230 | View Replies]

To: connectthedots

As I said, I tend to avoid speaking "in general" - broad brushes, you know?


275 posted on 01/04/2005 2:47:10 PM PST by Gabz (Happy New Year)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 265 | View Replies]

To: connectthedots
Uh...I'm not a lesbian and have some good male friends. We smoke, drink, talk, and and chill together all the time. I also do the same things with my female friends. Is there something wrong with that? What dimension do you live in where men and women don't hang out and share common interests?

And you said that lesbians hate men. You are just as bad as the liberals with a stupid comment like that.

276 posted on 01/04/2005 2:47:11 PM PST by Bella_Bru (You're about as funny as a case sensitive search engine.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 261 | View Replies]

To: Keyes2000mt
To all you single divorced guys:

1. What was the main reason you got divorced.

2. What are you looking for in a woman today.

3. Are you looking for a younger woman or one your own age? How many years younger?

Enquiring minds want to know. Thank you

277 posted on 01/04/2005 2:48:01 PM PST by zoobee
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: connectthedots

Thank you.


278 posted on 01/04/2005 2:48:36 PM PST by Gabz (Happy New Year)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 270 | View Replies]

To: dsc

Oh, so it's ok to get knocked around in this life, you'll be rewarded later? Maybe her mom ought to fight back.


279 posted on 01/04/2005 2:48:40 PM PST by Bella_Bru (You're about as funny as a case sensitive search engine.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 269 | View Replies]

To: mariabush

ping


280 posted on 01/04/2005 2:49:22 PM PST by southland (forgiven)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 259 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 241-260261-280281-300 ... 1,101-1,116 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson