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How To Talk To A Liberal (Preferably With A Baseball Bat) Ann Coulter Auto-pen Interview Alert!
N/A | October 2004 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 12/22/2004 10:48:02 PM PST by goldstategop

Q: (Carlos Baroni) Many liberals are rich, come from the East Coast, are white, studied at the Ivy university. You are rich (I hope), come from Connecticut, are white and studied at Cornell. Why do you hate the liberals?

A: (Ann Coulter) Because I know so many of them. Liberals are clueless, amoral sexual degenerates, communists and pacifists – no offense to you or your readers intended, of course.

Q: You said the USA's worst enemy are the liberals.

A: So what's the question? The enemy within is often far more damaging than the enemy outside. Does the name "Mussolini" – great believer in extensive government direction of the economy, just like the Democrats – ring a bell?

Q: Why do Europeans prefer liberals than conservatives?

A: Because you're all a bunch of atheists, humanists and moral relativists. Love the food, though! And don't get me started on the shoes you wonderful people make! They're to surrender for!

Q: Do Europeans love Kerry more or hate Bush more?

A: Hate Bush. No one loves John Kerry, including John Kerry. Europeans are wrong on policy, not clinically insane.

Q: Who will win the elections 2004?

A: That's for the Supreme Court to sort out, you ignorant foreigner.

Q: If Kerry should win, what will the changes in the USA be?

A: He's got this exciting new plan for Iraq I think you Italians may have heard of. It's called "unconditional surrender." Today, Christianity is legal and gay marriage is illegal. If Kerry wins, these will be reversed.

Q: And the world?

A: That will be up to the United Nations.

Q: Is it right, the Iraqi conflict?

A: No, it's wrong. The rabid savages who are fighting American troops should give up immediately.

Q: What's your opinion about the U.S. media? Are they actually free?

A: Pravda had certain shortcomings in Soviet days, but at least it was honest enough to admit being a Communist Party newspaper.

Q: Our American image comes from movies. But Hollywood isn't the real America ...

A: The real America is Hollywood, Fla.

Q: Does tolerant Islam exist or not?

A: If it does exist, it's keeping an extremely low profile.

Q: Is it possible to export democracy?

A: Yes. Ever heard of "Italy"?

Q: Who are the three best U.S. presidents of the century? And the three best in any time?

A: Century: Reagan, Coolidge, Harding. Ever: Washington, Reagan, Lincoln.

Q: What is your opinion about the center-left leader in Europe? Zapatero, Blair, Schroeder?

A: Zapatero is Spanish for "Chamberlain." I would campaign for Blair for U.S. president. Schroeder – what is the Italian word for "scumbag"?

Q: And about center-right? Berlusconi, Chirac?

A: Chirac is center-right? Better lay off the grappa, Primo. Berlusconi: LOVE him!!

Q: Your last book is called "How to Talk to a Liberal." With which words?

A: A baseball bat is best. But if you absolutely must use words, something like: "Grow up."

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE VERNAL EQUINOX!

Love,

Ann Coulter

(autopen)


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Editorial; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: anncoulter; autopen; baseballbat; carolosbaroni; coulter; howtotalktoaliberal; liberals; merryvernalequinox; orianadiamerica
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This is dead on funny. A Christmas present that gives on giving to Ann Coulter fans along with the autopen gesture. Enjoy!
1 posted on 12/22/2004 10:48:04 PM PST by goldstategop
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To: goldstategop
If its Ann Coulter, I'll be surprised.

Her style is generally a bit different.

By the way, where are the pics?

2 posted on 12/22/2004 10:56:54 PM PST by Sonny M ("oderint dum metuant")
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To: Sonny M

Yes -its Ann to a T. She's funny as hell. Liberals who don't have a sense of humor, will view it as hell. And in the meantime, I'm waiting for the obligatory, "this thread is worthless without pics" post to come along!


3 posted on 12/22/2004 10:58:39 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: goldstategop

When I was reading this tonite at the end of Coulter's column, I was wondering "What the hell is this?"


4 posted on 12/22/2004 10:59:27 PM PST by GOP_Raider (Win, Lose or Tie...Raiders Til I Die!)
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To: GOP_Raider

What does 'auto-pen interview' mean? I want an interview...


5 posted on 12/22/2004 11:01:30 PM PST by bummerdude
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To: GOP_Raider

It a send up of the liberal fuss over Rummy signing letters with an auto-pen. What Ann says abour Left IS true, which make it even funnier! I was on the floor bawling with laughter! She has the other side snookered.


6 posted on 12/22/2004 11:01:56 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: bummerdude

Hehehe... ask Rummy! ;-)


7 posted on 12/22/2004 11:02:35 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: GOP_Raider

Satire... don't you recognize all the classic Coulterisms? The best way to kill The Enemy is by making fun of him - especially with a Merry Vernal Equinox broadside. :)


8 posted on 12/22/2004 11:05:06 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: goldstategop
Chew em up Ann. This is Ann Coulter at her BEST!
9 posted on 12/22/2004 11:06:21 PM PST by Rabble (Student History Books are always written by the victors!)
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To: Rabble

My favorite line is the one where she calls on the rabid savages in Iraq to surrender. Preferably without their burqas or robes or whatever it is jihadis wear these days!


10 posted on 12/22/2004 11:09:01 PM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: Sonny M

11 posted on 12/22/2004 11:10:53 PM PST by Bobber58 (whatever it takes, for as long as it takes)
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To: goldstategop
my favorite :Liberals are clueless, amoral sexual degenerates, communists and pacifists – no offense to you or your readers intended, of course.

This is very funny. Thank you for posting it.

12 posted on 12/22/2004 11:32:41 PM PST by Once-Ler (My name is Once-Ler, King of Kings. Look on my works, ye Mighty, and dispair!)
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To: goldstategop

Pretty in pink ;)
13 posted on 12/22/2004 11:34:59 PM PST by Echo Talon
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To: Sonny M

Got to the site:
http://www.townhall.com/columnists/anncoulter/ac20041223.shtml

You'll also find this gem:

'As president, Clinton sold burial plots in Arlington Cemetery and liberals shrugged it off. What really gets their goat is the autopen. Evidently, the important thing was that every one of those pardons Clinton sold for cash on his last day in office was signed by Bill Clinton personally.'


Sounds kinda mean-spirited....but it is true and we should never forget it. I'm sure Ann must have made a mistake, but I'm not aware of it.


14 posted on 12/22/2004 11:38:45 PM PST by skeptoid
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To: goldstategop

Ohhh, yeah, I get it now...wow I must be burnt out from Christmas :)


15 posted on 12/22/2004 11:47:45 PM PST by GOP_Raider (Win, Lose or Tie...Raiders Til I Die!)
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To: goldstategop
Not Coulter..
Maybe Coulter drunk as a wombat.. Nah!... not Coulter..
16 posted on 12/23/2004 12:02:45 AM PST by hosepipe (This propaganda has been ok'ed me to included some fully orbed hyperbole....)
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To: Bobber58

Great pic. But... there is another obligatory pic though of Ann holding her 9mm Beretta taking aim at...


17 posted on 12/23/2004 12:08:07 AM PST by Cobra64 (Babes should wear Bullet Bras - www.BulletBras.net)
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To: Echo Talon

Color it red and you have: VIVA LA REVOLUCION COULTER!


18 posted on 12/23/2004 12:13:13 AM PST by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: goldstategop
Sorry it is Coulter...
Went to her website and saw it there... DuuuH!..
19 posted on 12/23/2004 12:16:58 AM PST by hosepipe (This propaganda has been ok'ed me to included some fully orbed hyperbole....)
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To: goldstategop
OK, Bobber58 got you out of that one, but we're watching you, buddy... ;-)

Hmm...I must be a "moderate," but I don't think a baseball bat is necessary when talking to a liberal. You can do wonders with a nightstick or a can of Mace...

20 posted on 12/23/2004 12:17:06 AM PST by Billthedrill
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