Rare Three-Headed Troll Spotted at FreeRepublic.com Area anthropologists stunned. By V.K. Bestertester, Staff Science Editor FRESNO, CA — The scientific community was shocked and awed today by the sighting of a rare three-headed Troll at a local forum, FreeRepublic.com. Trolls of that species had been thought extinct since Sen. Albert Gore Jr. lost the presidency in 2000.
The troll, scrossman, was detected posting other writer's disturbed rantings whining about recounts, workman's comp and heaven knows what else. "The Troll had thrown up three seemingly unrelated posts in fifteen minutes," said Admin Moderator, who first saw the creature. "We didn't want to scare him away, so we watched for a bit while Sidebar Moderator got his camera. Sidebar managed to get one snap before the Viking Kittens spotted the Troll." That picture, shown above, is the first one taken of Trollicus Trifecta in the wild in nearly a generation. The last one was photographed following Oliver North around during Iran/Contra in the 1980's. Admin continued, "But of course, once the Kittens spotted him, it was all over. Headlines started changing, keywords were added and the thread just exploded. The thunder from that darn lightning of theirs will scare away even the hardiest of Trolls. I really wish they would develop an interest in anthropology or even political science. It would be so much more healthy than the fascination with high-energy physics that's currently going 'round." Some were not pleased upon hearing news of the incident. "We're tired of having our right to free speech infringed by these right-wing feline thugs," said Bev Harrison, area chanteuse and scam artist, "and we're going to do something about it! Send all of your rent money to Black Cat Voting at www.takethemoneyandrun.com. We're going to file lawsuits, demand recall of their Kitten Chow and regulate lightning. All that thunder has to be contributing to Global Warming, I just know it." Interviewed by phone, Jim Robinson, American patriot and founder of FreeRepublic.com, highlighted the bright side. "Just think, if it wasn't for FReepers, these trolls, especially one as horribly ugly as this one, would have no place to go. We at FR are very satisfied to have helped advance the accumulated body of knowledge surrounding these fascinating but ultimately sad creatures." Indeed, Professor V. K. Habilis was thankful for the picture captured by Sidebar Moderator. "It's a face-on shot, clearly delineating the three personalities. That's Bored on the right, Bawling on the left and Confused and Angry in the center. It has been a long time indeed since Trollicus Trifecta revealed so much about its habits and needs." "The single-dome and doubleheader varieties are interesting, but quite common," he continued, "but these Trifecta are extremely rare. Research suggests they are particularly susceptible to lightning, the bane of all Trolls, since they have three heads. The likelihood of a direct hit is so much higher." A phone message left at Viking Kitten Headquarters requesting comment for this story was not immediately returned. |
