Posted on 12/13/2004 5:39:51 AM PST by Le Bouledogue Britannique
It has been noted that there has been a grievous and unprovoked attack on Great Britain on these pages
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1295524/posts
which THE MANAGEMENT, in their wisdom, have seen fit to leave in situ.
Therefore, here is the British response.
[Note to Mr Moderator, please feel free to remove this thread (I'm sure you will anyway) and indeed ban me from these boards (once again) However, if you do choose you that path, please display your lack of bias and sense of fair play by removing the "40 Reasons why the US is Better than Britain (humor)" thread which I have linked to above at the same time. Thank you.]
70 Reasons why GREAT Britain is miles & miles better than the USA (humour)
1. Michael Moore
2. You don't have any custard
3. You invented McDonalds
4, Our military are peacemakers.
5. We know a few things about the U.S., whereas you know next to nothing about the UK.
6. We have a sense of humour (and we even know how to spell it)
7. We don't rely on therapy or Prozac to lead a "normal" life
8. We understand irony.
9. We can watch TV for ten full minutes without a 15 minute commercial break
10. We are 6 times less likely to be murdered in the UK than you are in the US
11. We are 60 times less likely to be shot in the UK than you are in the US
12. We don't feel that we have to own firearms to protect ourselves from our own government.
13. We aren't xenophobic
14. Did I mention Michael Moore?
15. We don't expect people to like us or respect us, but some of them do. The U.S. seems to have got that back to front.
16. British beer doesn't taste like diluted gnats urine.
17. We don't have rednecks (at least, if we do, they don't actually have red necks)
18. We can drive around corners and most of our cars can manage more than 10 miles to the gallon.
19. We are intelligent enough to use a manual gearbox
20. We are not all obese.
21. Yorkshire pudding.
22. We are a net exporter of oil
23. We can sometimes see the other guys point of view.
24. Our accents don't sound vulgar.
25. We don't hate people just because they are different to us.
26. We have a prettier flag than you.
27. We invented modern democracy, you just pay lip service to it.
28. We have more attractive women here per head of population than you have.
29. We don't have the left wing stink hole that is Hollywood.
30. We are capable of enjoying a film (translation: "movie") in which nobody gets killed every 3 minutes.
31. We don't eat raw corn.
32. We don't have to buy our drinking water from other countries
33. Most of our population realise that there is a world beyond our borders.
34. I live here.
35. Our armed forces are capable of mounting an operation without playing rock music at 120 decibels, shouting "YEAH RIGHT!", or "OH DUDE!" every ten seconds and putting panties on the heads of captives.
36. We enjoy steak & kidney pie. You are too pernickety to even try it and therefore don't know what you're missing.
37. Our students study geography
38. We don't let our armed forces recruit in our schools.
39. We don't let our homosexuals recruit in our schools either.
40. We do let the boy scouts recruit in our schools.
41. We are able to settle minor disputes without filling each other with lead.
42. We don't deny healthcare to a large proportion of our population because they can't pay.
43. We don't react to any perceived minor critism or a question of our opinions by accusing the other party of being a "pinko-commie", a "faggot" or a "reee-tord"
44. Our teachers are able to deal with difficult young children without calling the police.
45. Our police (even if they were called to a school) wouldn't dream of tazaring a six year old boy or handcuffing a 10 year old girl (for bringing scissors to school - what's that about then?), nor of locking them up in a cell.
46. Our teachers are able to deal with parents visiting their classrooms without kicking seven shades of excrement out of them.
47. Michael Moore anybody?
48. We play proper football, you....well, I needn't say any more on that subject.
49. We don't have crooks calling themselves TV evangelists, because we are not dumb enough to send them any money.
50. We stopped having mullet haircuts in the 80's
51. We don't marry our cousins & call the offspring Billy-Bob or Mary-Lou
52. We have toilet blocks older than your most historical sites
53. We have a pot plant at Kew Gardens which is older than the USA
54. While we don't have the first amendment, we do seem to respect it more than you do.
55. Michael Jackson.
56. We don't exaggerate our achievements in the 2nd World War.
57. You elected Bill Clinton.
58 You elected Bill Clinton, TWICE! (I mean, come on Yanks! Once is a mistake, twice was just stupid!)
59. We are capable of winning a sports event (oh yes we are!) without chanting "UK! UK! UK! UK! UK! UK! UK!" ceaselessly and intensely irritatingly over and over and over again.
60. We (with a little minor assistance from our Froggy neighbours) conceived, planned, built and financed the Concorde, the finest, fastest & most beautiful airliner the world has ever seen.
61. You, in a typical fit of petty jealousy and America-firstism, strangled commercial supersonic flight at birth by banning Concorde from your airports (and thus markets) on ridiculous environmental grounds (possibly the only time the US has objected to anything for that reason), then announced your own supersonic airline project (which never got built - while even the USSR managed to produce a Concorde rip-off)
62. We do not regard war as a spectator sport.
63. We, a small nation, in the space of a few generations, built the largest Empire the world has ever seen, and then gave it all back. Just for laughs. You, a very large nation, have attempted to dominate the world for the last 50 years and have failed, miserably.
64. We, while still retaining our patriotism, are able to appreciate and applaud the achievements of sportsmen, politicians, scientists and businessmen from other countries.
65. We have our own language that we ourselves invented. You have pinched ours and devalued it appallingly
66. We have given the world, modern democracy, law & order, the English language, the industrial revolution, the world wide web, penicillin, the jet engine and a host of other social and technological breakthroughs too numerous to mention. You have given the world....Mickey Mouse.
67. Is there a Michael Moore in the house?
68. We play cricket, perhaps not the most exciting sport out there I grant you but nonetheless a gentlemanly pursuit. You have baseball. Nuff said.
69. You, often claim, in your brusque, bombastic manner to be "the greatest nation on Earth". We smile silently but say nothing because we KNOW that we are.
70. No British Prime Minister has ever been caught with his pants down in 10 Downing Street.
& one for the pot...
71. We are British. Don-cha-know!
Toodle Pip Chaps.
They, Bin Laden and his crowd, saw what Clinton and his crowd would do to them for attacking us and our Embassy's....nothing. It inspired them to do more and more. And why not? With Clinton, there was no penalty. Oh, the little missile fired here and there but that was just for affect I believe. His inaction with a stronger response only emboldened them to do greater and greater acts of terrorism....till finally we had 9-11.
America is the best. God bless this great nation, and keep her filled with people like those on this thread.
1. You aren't France
2. Monty Python
3. You took Madona off our hands
4. Tony Blair
5. Basil Rathbone
Things I don't understand about Britain
1. SIR Elton John?
2. Why do you let the government run your media?
3. Why don't you trust your citizens with firearms or sharp objects?
4. Why did you make Australia a prison colony? I'd have left the criminals and moved the honest people to Australia.
LOL
Until one actually TASTES an ear of Sweet Corn, right off the stalk, in the sunshine....one would never even guess how delicious and tender it is, and how it would be a shame to cook it in any way.
I do not know what all this controversy is about, but I know that what I stated above is the real truth. It can taste as sweet as honey.
"...except when I drive on the correct side of the road...talk about road rage!"
They can be so insensitive. Where is the Love ?!
What is amazing is how many essential "modern" devices were invented by freed slaves. I think "Otis' may have even been one of them. Bears looking into.
I remember shuttering when Hillarycare was first proposed for the USA and it was determined that it would cost 17% of the entire government budget, I think. And, we taxpayers would have ended up paying for it through the nose.
Won't argue with you there (why we call our national pastime "football" is beyond me), although "real football" aka soccer is the GAYEST sport ever!
thats awesome
What's your point? Everyone knows the US didn't land on the moon either.
Murricans know nowt about the rest of the world
Everbody else knows you can't tell the French anything
There were two good reasons why the British army was given the job of peacekeeping in Basra and Southern Iraq and neither implied that British forces are less capable than their US counterparts:
1) Given that the Iraq war was/is unpopular with the majority of people in Britain, it would greatly undermine Blair in the upcoming general election if British forces were taking heavy casualties while peacekeeping in very dangerous areas of Iraq. Therefore, the less dangerous city of Basra and the surrounding areas were more appropriate duties than Baghdad or Fallujah. Unless, of course, you prefer Blair to get ousted and replaced with someone who would respond to US requests for military support in the same way Chirac and Schroder do.
2) The inhabitants of Basra are more anti-American than in other areas of Iraq due to the US response to the 1991 uprising, which former President George HW Bush instigated when he appealed, on February 15, 1991, to "the Iraqi military and the Iraqi people to take matters into their own hands-to force Saddam Hussein the dictator to step aside." In early March 1991, a massive Shi'ite rebellion swept across southern Iraq from Basra to the holy cities of Najaf and Kerbala. As the rebellion spread, representatives of the most prominent Shi'ite cleric in Iraq attempted to contact American forces that were then occupying parts of Iraq to assess Washington's support. The US Commander in the region, General Norman Schwarzkopf, refused to meet with them. American and other allied forces, meanwhile, destroyed and confiscated Iraqi munitions that could have been used by the rebellion. But the deathblow to the uprising came when the US lifted the over-flight ban on Iraqi aircraft, allowing the Iraqi government to send in attack helicopters to mercilessly crush the rebellion in late March. This is a history not forgotten in Basra and southern Iraq which is why US troops would not have made good peacekeepers there.
- Ironies such as the nation born out of rebellion against the opression of the UK TWICE returning to defend her against European tyrrany and becoming one of her greatest allies? That kind of irony?
More the irony how a nation that helped the US once - Once - then was the first to go to war against it 10 years later, is viewed as "America's traditional and oldest ally"
Fuller picture, a lot were Irish.
Minor weirdness. The Brits decided to punish the Irish by sending them to Australia.
Major weirdness. 200 years later the Irish are still nursing a grudge that they got the worse end of the deal.
You know what does not exist in the U.S.? British Restaurants. How come?
PS Thanks for the Beatles... got me through Puberty (along with Ian Fleming's James Bond novels).
BTTT
LOL oh snap good one
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