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Charges filed for half-naked man in assault case (Comedic, but true!)
The Fargo Forum ^ | 12/09/04 | Amy Dalrymple

Posted on 12/09/2004 6:14:57 AM PST by Uncle Miltie

Prosecutors filed charges Wednesday against the Moorhead man accused of assaulting three people Nov. 20 while naked from the waist down at Sunmart.

Ryan Christian Parker, 34, 1008 2nd Ave. N., Moorhead, will appear in court Tuesday on charges of fifth-degree assault, disorderly conduct, obstructing the legal process and indecent exposure. None of the charges are felonies.

Police reports filed in court say:

Parker entered Sunmart at 210 11th St. N., Moorhead, wearing only a blue flowered shirt. Witnesses said the man walked directly to a clerk behind the checkout lane and grabbed her by her shirt and tie.

The clerk, Genell King, 20, told police she recognized the man as a regular customer. He entered the store with blood on himself and was swearing, she said.

A couple in their late 50s who were in line to pay for groceries intervened. Bobby Anderson grabbed the man’s arm as he tried to pull King across the counter.

Parker then smashed a carton of eggs and threw a small, wooden box of tangerines at Virgil Anderson, who was coming to aid his wife, the report said.

Virgil Anderson ducked and the wooden tangerine box struck Bobby Anderson in the face, but did not injure her.

Parker left the store after Virgil Anderson punched him in the face. King and the Andersons were not hurt, but got the man’s blood on them.

The police report also says:

About 11:45 a.m., a Qwest employee working near Sunmart called 911 when he saw the half-naked and bloody man leave the store.

Alex Settel told police the man went over to a newspaper recycling Dumpster in the store’s parking lot and began throwing newspapers on the ground.

Police located the man getting into a stopped vehicle at Main Avenue and 14th Street. The car then headed north on Center Avenue, weaving violently. Police were able to stop the vehicle after a few blocks.

Police had to subdue the man because he resisted arrest. The driver of the vehicle was identified as Charleen Parker, the man’s mother.

She told police she heard about the incident on her police scanner and drove to the scene because she thought her son could be involved, according to the police report.

Ryan Parker was taken to Fargo’s MeritCare Hospital for treatment for cuts and scrapes on his hands, feet and his head. While struggling with police, Parker struck his head and feet against the pavement.

Parker told police he took a psychedelic hallucinogenic drug called DMT, as well as prescription medication.

Charleen Parker told police her son was taking medication and was recently depressed about the death of a close friend and another friend who was ill.

After the incident, police checked Parker’s basement apartment and found it messy with prescription pill bottles on the bed. Police also found a homemade pipe and two baggies with a greenish-gray powdery substance.

Contacted at home Wednesday, George Parker said his son suffers from depression and is trying to get treatment.

He said the family is looking for an attorney. He declined to comment further.

Following the incident, Parker was placed on leave from his job at Moorhead Senior High, where he worked as a full-time paraprofessional, said Ronald Nielsen, the district’s director of human resources.

Parker resigned from his position on Dec. 2, Nielsen said.

Sunmart manager Sebastian McDougall said company policy prevents him or other employees from commenting about the incident.

Parker was not jailed in the incident.


TOPICS: Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons; US: Minnesota; US: North Dakota
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Strange, but true!
1 posted on 12/09/2004 6:14:57 AM PST by Uncle Miltie
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To: Brad Cloven
(he was) naked from the waist down ... she recognized the man as a regular customer.

very interesting!

2 posted on 12/09/2004 6:18:37 AM PST by KidGlock (W-1)
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To: KidGlock

ROFL! That was worded kinda bad, wasn't it??


3 posted on 12/09/2004 6:19:45 AM PST by TheRatHunter
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To: Brad Cloven
Parker was placed on leave from his job at Moorhead Senior High, where he worked as a full-time paraprofessional,

Why did I suddenly have a mental image of a pant-less skydiver sailing into a high school to unjam a copier????

Gotta switch to decaf!!

4 posted on 12/09/2004 6:21:02 AM PST by pikachu (The REAL script)
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To: Brad Cloven

Shoot, just yesterday another naked Minnesotan was bitten in the nether regions by a police dog after he punched the cop who was trying to get him to leave a residence. They had to go back to the residence to retrieve a...testicle. Ouch!

Must be all the mild December weather making them crazy.


5 posted on 12/09/2004 6:22:04 AM PST by AmericanChef
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To: TheRatHunter

Police bulletin: Be on the lookout for a half-dressed white male carrying two six packs of beer and a half dozen donuts...


6 posted on 12/09/2004 6:23:19 AM PST by reagan_fanatic (Oh yeah - and F the french too!)
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To: Brad Cloven

"Prosecutors filed charges Wednesday against the Moorhead man accused of assaulting three people Nov. 20 while naked from the waist down..."

He was obviously violating the penal code......


7 posted on 12/09/2004 6:25:05 AM PST by NRA1995 (Yew jes' go and lay yore hand on a Pittsburgh Steeler fan and I think yer gonna fin'lly understand)
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To: reagan_fanatic

Hey! Some of us half-dressed white male carrying two six packs of beer and a half dozen donuts are perfectly innocent and minding our own business!! It's because I'm white, isn't it??!! You racist prick!! I'm calling the ACLU!!

Oops, sorry. I'm white. They wouldn't care..

Well, I'll do something really nasty anyway!! Like ring your doorbell and run away! HA!


8 posted on 12/09/2004 6:27:33 AM PST by TheRatHunter
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To: NRA1995
"Prosecutors filed charges Wednesday against the Moorhead man accused of assaulting three people Nov. 20 while naked from the waist down..."

He was obviously violating the penal code......


You're going to have bad karma for a week after that line...
9 posted on 12/09/2004 6:28:24 AM PST by TheRatHunter
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To: Brad Cloven

But will it stand up in court?


10 posted on 12/09/2004 6:30:59 AM PST by Jack Wilson
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To: Brad Cloven

What in the world is a "paraprofessional?" And why are the taxpayers paying their salaries?

A high school needs a principal, vice-principal, secretary, classroom teachers, a nurse, a janitor, and lunch ladies. Period.


11 posted on 12/09/2004 6:32:19 AM PST by dsc
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To: Brad Cloven

A guy named Virgil and a girl named Bobby together? Very interesting.


12 posted on 12/09/2004 6:34:14 AM PST by TheRatHunter
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To: Brad Cloven
..the Moorhead man accused of assaulting three people Nov. 20 while naked from the waist down at Sunmart...

...Not sure this is what Moorhead's founding fathers had in mind when they named their town...

13 posted on 12/09/2004 6:38:25 AM PST by Jagman
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To: dsc
A high school needs a principal, vice-principal, secretary, classroom teachers, a nurse, a janitor, and lunch ladies. Period.

I thought students were required too.

;->

14 posted on 12/09/2004 6:42:53 AM PST by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Jagman

Can't blame a guy for wanting Moorhead...


15 posted on 12/09/2004 6:43:13 AM PST by TheRatHunter
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To: Izzy Dunne

Students are optional. After all, there's always the option of becoming a welfare Democrat instead!


16 posted on 12/09/2004 6:44:23 AM PST by TheRatHunter
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To: dsc

Other names for paraprofessionals are teaching assistants or teachers' aides. My wife is a paraprofessional and works one-on-one with students who need additional help. In our school district they are part-time employees and earn in the range of eight to twelve dollars per hour depending on seniority. They actually work closer with the students than the teachers.


17 posted on 12/09/2004 7:02:48 AM PST by mouske (Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.)
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To: mouske

No offense to your wife, but that's what we used to call "a tutor," right?

Some kids can really benefit from tutoring. It can make all the difference.

What I remember most from grade school (back in the 14th century) is long, long periods of silent boredom. Seems like teachers had time to work with kids who were having trouble back then, or after school.


18 posted on 12/09/2004 7:44:04 AM PST by dsc
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To: Brad Cloven
What'll ya bet the Dems run him for some office? (no such thing as bad publicity category)
19 posted on 12/09/2004 7:52:26 AM PST by Edgerunner (The left ain't right. Hand me that launch pickle...)
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To: dsc

My wife would not be offended by being called a tutor. Maybe you could consider paraprofessionals as school provided tutors in the classroom.

I too remember the boredom of dead time as teachers had to repeatedly go back to cover material that slow students did not understand, although I don't go back as far as you (just to the 50's for grade school, graduated high school in '64).

I agree that we taxpayers are required to pay too much for public schools. But you might be amazed to know some of the things that parents DEMAND that schools provide for their students.


20 posted on 12/09/2004 7:59:26 AM PST by mouske (Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.)
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