Enablers are gracious, but they are death for addicts. Addicts don't really want to change. They want someone to listen and help them pretend they are "okay" when they are not okay.
"Addicts don't really want to change." Are you saying that no one caught in addiction ever wants out?
Have you ever heard of AA?
"They want someone to listen and help them pretend they are "okay" when they are not okay."
No doubt some do, but are you saying that ALL addicts only want someone to listen and help them pretend they are "okay" when they are not okay? Every sinlge person caught in every single addiction is like this?
"Enablers are gracious, but they are death for addicts."
There is no doubt in my mind that enablers are death for addicts.
That is why I would never consider an enabler to be in any way "gracious"
I'm frankly rather astounded that you cuold ever consider behavior which enables destructive behavior in another human being to be in any way "gracious". Jesus was most certainly gracious, but as far as I know He never enabled any destructive sort of behavior on another human being.
It strikes me that you have a mistaken view either of grace and graciousness or of enabling.