Posted on 12/03/2004 6:38:40 PM PST by qam1
I look around me everyday and I see beautiful women. It could be very tempting to go out and date them. Going out every weekend to the clubs and picking up an assortment of chicks like so many kinds of chocolates in a Valentine's Day gift. But I will not!
It has taken me years, but I am finally getting over the lasting effects of "Seinfeld."
Yes, "Seinfeld." What is considered the greatest show/sitcom of all time has also been the biggest plague/curse on my life.
Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.
Growing up, we "Seinfeldites" would come to learn of the adult world through the dark shadow that is "Seinfeld."
There are two role models for men in "Seinfeld" -- Jerry and George.
If you could have your pick, Jerry is the obvious choice.
He has lots of money, travels all the time; his crazy friends get into all kinds of amusing trouble, and he meets women faster than a shirtless Colin Farrell at a sorority house holding DVD box sets of Friends and the most recent "embattled woman fights for her rights" Julia Roberts movie.
All I am saying is that he was getting laid, constantly. He was getting the fine booty that all men crave.
This left an indelible impression on a young man. This, I assumed, was the fate of all halfway decent looking men.
Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues.
However, Jerry was not the only character that has influenced our nation's youth. George Costanza or "Can't Stanz Ya" depending on your pronunciation, has left the best minds of our time with serious mental diseases and complexes.
No matter how slick you think you are, enough Costanza in your life will cause you to doubt yourself and all you believe in. George was obviously the most despicable and interesting character on the show.
He would lie his way into sex, jobs, marriage, out of marriage, fake disability, race old people in 9-volt scooters, take naps under his desk, have sex with cleaning ladies in his office and was the cheapest bastard on the face of the earth.
As awful a person as he might seem on the surface, there is a little George Costanza in all of us.
And the more you watch him, the larger that little Costanza inside you grows, until there is nothing left but a 35-year-old bald man with no job, no prospects and no reason to get up in the morning -- except to read the daily news.
Just think what kind of a result just these characters have on the psyche of children. And these are only two of many sexual deviants and immoral miscreants "Seinfeld" would propagate!
What does a boy learn by watching Elaine or Kramer?
From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off.
And from Kramer you learn that you can get by in life, with no job and no money just by mooching off the guy across the hall.
Having spent years getting over the mental strain and irregular development caused me by this show, I have filed a class action lawsuit with Jerry Seinfeld and the creators of "Seinfeld."
The suit is being brought now, in part due to the fact that the DVDs were recently released, and I fear that I will have a re-lapse and years of therapy will have been for naught.
Students can get in on this suit by going to www."Seinfeld"_ruined_my_life.com
Maybe I am wrong, isn't the guy (article writer) kidding? Sorry, but George went out with girls that wouldn't have given him a second look.
I thought it was quite amusing.
Would you bring her home to meet the family during Festivas?
I liked Seinfeld but I thought it was over rated, I can't watch it in re-runs.
It wasn't the best sitcom of all time, That would be Married With Children
The Jurassic park movies would have been good if the annoying kids in each of them would have gotten eaten.
Great idea. However, it's not a Simpsons quote. I tend to use Simpsons quotes.
I especially liked the guy who recounted SB episode summaries as though they were profound. And I thought I wasted too much of MY time..
"Go ahead....Pull a rabbit out of my hat"
(Laz blushes, stutters a little, and quickly sits down)
A hole in one!
If you like Seinfeld, you will like Larry David in "Curb Your Enthusiasm" on HBO.
Normally, I wouldn't pay for HBO, but I got it free for 6 months. Other than Curb Your Enthusiasm, I haven't found much else on it that is worth paying for. The Soprano's is OK, but since I didn't see any of the first several seasons, I don't know all of the story lines.
Now, all she needs is a pinkish hue.
How could I possibly forget Married with Children? Laugh-a-minute riot!
I only watch reruns of "Seinfeld" and "Drew Carey." I got back to the States in the fall of 1997. Saw a "comedy" called "Just Shoot Me," and I haven't seen a live one since. Laugh tracks insult my intelligence.
Are you LT Smash in disguise? Actually, I thought that episode was not one of the better ones. I think the one where Homer goes to the Frying Dutchman for the All You Can Eat Seafood, while Darlene from "Roseanne" babysits Bart is the best.
"Yar. 'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseles eating machine."
"It wasn't the best sitcom of all time, That would be Married With Children"
Not my cup of tea. Rude, selfish, nasty people with no moral compunction and no respect for anything whatsoever. Way too much like real life.
"The Andy Griffith Show" is probably the best sitcom ever, although Cheers and Cosby were great as well. My favorite sitcom ever was "Frank's Place" with Tim Reid. Wonderful acting, inspired writing, but never really found an audience.
I agree that it wasn't one of the better episodes. I just loved that "yvan eht nioj" line so much that I made it my tagline.
Post Nazi!
Get out! (Elaine shove====)
Definitely! I'd prevail in all the "feats of strength" and that couldn't hurt my cause.
No, they're closer then to Boomers. I'm an old Boomer of '46. My son is an old Gen. Xer I think born in '65.
Mr. Ross: "They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them."
Frank Costanza: "That's perverse."
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