What Do You Say to An Extraterrestrial?

space.com ^ | 12/02/04 | Seth Shostak

[KevinDavis]

I once thought that worrying about what we should broadcast to extraterrestrials made as much sense as fretting over the small talk I’d venture with King Carl XVI Gustaf if I won the Nobel Prize. I reckoned there was no need to dwell on the problem, as it was both hypothetical and irrelevant.

[asgardshill]

"Greetings visitors, I am Earth's Ambassador! Welcome to Earth! Before you can get started exploring our green lush planet, our Planetary Leader requests that you provide one complete copy of the construction plans for your spacecraft to us, written in mathematical equations or the human language called English, in lieu of a passport and visa. These plans must contain detailed information about your craft's hyperluminal drive system, including a sample of the fuel that powers the craft's drive to operate it at full capacity for one solar year. We will also require three of each type of weapon you carry aboard your craft for security purposes.

Once we have verified your bona fides, you are welcome to begin your exploration of our planet. We suggest you begin in the nation-state called the United States of America, in the downtown sector of the city known as Cincinnati in the state known as Ohio, any time between the hours of local midnight and 4 AM. You'll find the natives there to be peaceful and tolerant of visitors, and weapons will not be necessary to visit this place."

[Lockbar]

Cartman is an expert in the anal probe deal.

[Charles Henrickson]

. . . the small talk I’d venture with King Carl XVI Gustaf if I won the Nobel Prize.

"Hey, King! What was up with that dress your daughter wore to the Nobel Prize dinner a few years back? . . . No, not *that* daughter. The other one. You know who I mean--Maddy, and that red dress she wore that was cut down to there! My, she's some fin flicka, I must say! . . . Whoa, hey, King! I didn't mean nothin' by that! Call off your thugs! Hey, wait a minute! Whattya doing?! . . ."

[BIGLOOK]

Fuel? You got Visa, MasterCard or Discovery?

[GOPyouth]

Am I logged in?

[RckyRaCoCo]

Barnhardt: Tell me, Hilda, does all this frighten you? Does it make you feel insecure?
Hilda: Yes sir, it certainly does.
Barnhardt: That's good, Hilda; I'm glad.

[Redcloak]

What Do You Say to An Extraterrestrial?

"I'll have the top sirloin, medium rare, the rice pilaf, and a salad with ranch dressing."

[RckyRaCoCo]

Klaatu: You have faith, Professor Barnhardt?
Barnhardt: It isn't faith that makes good science Mr. Klaatu, it's curiosity. Sit down, please. There are several thousand questions I'd like to ask you.

[AF68]

Reach for the sky or I'll blow your ugly alien head off!

[locochupacabra]

Eep op, orp ah ah.

[Jeff Gordon]

It really depends upon what she looks like, how she is dressed and how much beer I have consumed just prior to the neeting.

[USMA '71]

From the Philly area, we would just say -- YO !

[Muleteam1]

Sounds like someone else likes this old movie. It's definately a classic.

Muleteam1

[AgentEcho]

How about...

"You best be coming in peace 'caus I got a sh!tload of rednecks at the tree line waitin' to Bonny and Clyde on your ass."

But that's if they decide to go Close Ecounter of the Texas Kind. Æ

[Cyclopean Squid]

How about "Bah Weep Grah-Nah Weep Ninny Bon?"

[Bassfire]

What Do You Say to An Extraterrestrial? Whose yur Daddy!? (or sperm donor, or metamorphorizer or test tube mixer, etc.)

[Squantos]

Done Deal........!

Hope ya like Starberry Moonsfarm Whine !

[spotbust1]

So there is someone else out there who still makes his own roux. I thought I was the only one left.

[EmmaPeel]

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[EmmaPeel]

Well, that didn't post too well....sorry

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trying again