Posted on 12/02/2004 4:39:00 PM PST by JustaCowgirl
What a drive.
But so worth the time, because the Beatles are playing. Or is it the Stones? Or Outcast? Or Maroon 5?
Actually, it’s Cheney’s band. Here in Louisiana, that would be Jindal, Vitter, Boustany, and Cheney, the man.
Cheney’s up close and personal, very much in action. It’s hard to explain the phenomenon, but I took some pics that might help…. Because I’m a little horrified to tell you…that in his way…Cheney is…well,…a rock star.
Yes. He has that quality. Had I not seen it with my own eyes, felt the heat with my own body, I would not have believed it.
Because television is not particularly kind to Cheney. He appears rather craven, hulking, cold. Icily authoritative, and often laughably pompous. A know-it-all who’s often wrong.
But on that stage, in person, with the hot lights blazing and the jumpy, patriotic country-rock music blaring and the beat-beat thumping, he comes across…well, the words that spring to mind are…debonair…dashing…weirdly SEXY…blechhhhhh!!!
I can’t believe I just said that.
And yet, it´s true. Cheney has sex appeal with women. Men stare at him in envy and awe.
Cheney makes women hot.
And not just the women you’d expect, like your mom or grandma. Cheney hooks up with BABES. And makes them blush and flush and cry with joy or…something…. Oh…blechhhh!
And yet, it’s true. I drove, I arrived, I saw with my own eyes.
I came to catch up with Dr. Charles Boustany, Republican Congressional candidate for Louisiana’s Seventh District, who was considered something of a long shot until amazing bumbling and bad handling by the Democratic party machine thrust Boustany into the limelight. And Boustany is a wonderful candidate in many ways, and may make an even better congressman if he wins. He’s smart. He’s driven. He’s determined. And, as Cheney’s presence in Lake Charles is meant to assure us, Boustany has the best chance of unlocking that $14 billion we here in Louisiana need to save our coastline, and more.
What a rally. Local acoustical guitarists like Brad Brinkley and a gospel couple regaled the crowd with folksy favorites, but it was all pretty “blah” until the National Anthem was sung in a rather inexpert but very heart-felt manner, and then the speeches started. Moon Craffen was a comforting opening voice, and then a swarm of bulky men, with various law enforcement shields glinting underneath their plain clothes, descended upon a lone, long-haired male suspected heckler, and then the stars arrived. First newly-elected Republican Bobby Jindal, followed by newly-elected Republican David Vitter, and then Dr. Charles Boustany himself, who would like nothing better than to join their number. And it was all very nice and lively and typical political rally until Cheney himself bounded onto the stage and then…that rush! That rapture! And the deafening applause….
“I haven’t felt this good since we beat John Kerry!” Cheney growled, and the crowd roared approval. After lauding himself for personally “delivering the state of Wyoming” to Bush and bringing the Republican party to great national victory in both the White House and the Senate, Cheney assured the crowd: “Here, in the Seventh District, you can help out. It’s time to elect Charles” (wow, no last name needed here!) “to the Congress of the United States !” The crowd shouts and screams: “Yes!” Oh yes, yes, yes!
Voters are assured, not in so many words, of course, but by Cheney’s smiles, his chuckling, his knowing looks, that when Boustany makes that call and says, “Dick, about that $14 billion,” Cheney will take care of things. Somehow.
Cheney gestures stage left, somewhere out in the far beyond, and remarks how Boustany “convinced his wife, Bridget, to switch parties. It’s good to see you, Bridget,” Cheney smiles effervescently into the ether. “Glad you’re on our side!” Our side. Our side. Our side! Yes! The crowd chants and waves a sea of signs.
Then comes Cheney’s actual speech, which assures everyone America’s a great nation that, through invading Afghanistan and Iraq, and making gargantuan rumbling noises and not being overly friendly to Europe right now, has made the world a safer place. “We will never seek a permission slip to defend the United States of America!” Cheney declares, by way of explaining why centuries of multilateral diplomacy have been discarded in America like so much trash. And he hits just the right local notes. He remarks on Fort Polk and Barksdale Air Force Base soldiers and workers “right here in south Louisiana,” and thanks them, their friends and relatives “for all they’ve done for America.” He paints an optimistic picture of America ’s economy, and says he aims to “make the Bush tax cuts permanent.” He then recites the traditional Republican litany of “ending lawsuit abuse,” “creating a comprehensive energy policy,” and, most interestingly, “strengthening our social security for our children and grandchildren” by giving them “the independence of ownership—a nest egg to call their own which Washington politicians can never take away.”
Cheney guarantees “a prosperity that will reach every corner of the land.” And, whipping the crowd into a frenzy, he “defends the right of every American to bear arms” and to “believe that our nation in one nation, under God, and we believe that every American should be able to say so when we pledge allegiance to our flag.”
Well honestly, what’s not to like? Who wouldn’t go along with that?
And so immediately after Cheney’s speech, with the crowd still in “up” mode, the press escapes its little pen to cross over to the other stage to get more views of Cheney now on the ground, working the crowd. Being new at this, I didn’t move fast enough and, caught in the crush, got separated from the pack. And so I found myself in the middle of this thrashing, shouting crowd all moving towards Cheney and eerily chanting his name. Cheney, thronged with secret service men, had his hands outstretched, and people were all trying just to touch him, and women were SCREAMING and blushing and sobbing and saying, “I’ve just been TOUCHED by Cheney!! TOUCHED by Cheney!!”
And then their women friends came over and somberly embraced them.
And I was kind of stunned for a moment, thought it just might be one or two very slightly hysterical women overreacting, but no, there were so many...and they were asking each other things like, "What did it FEEL like?" and "He SMILED at me!!!" and “Oh, oh, oh!” in ways that really shouldn’t be in a family newspaper.
I thought, this is pretty amazing, so I snapped a few pics of the women, only they were moving and crying so much it was hard to get a good picture.
Lake Charles is a long drive home, and so I stopped in Lafayette to get some coffee at Mello Joy, and figure things out. I’ve been to Bush rallies, and he’s certainly not a bad-looking man, but have never seen anything like Cheney’s hot paw-paw act anywhere.
But here’s a theory: Look back to another politico heart-throb, Bill Clinton. Clinton won the election because he is like Elvis Presley in "Kid Creole." Clinton´s the bad boy that no woman´s father would let her romantically consider, and yet by the same token, he´s the kind of bad boy some men envy and admire.
Cheney is different, and even more powerful an archetype. Cheney is everybody´s father, in a nation that has lost, through feminism, its sense of men being strong, in control, taking care of things, being...well...MANLY. He´s like...well, Sean Connery comes to mind. But not James Bond. The older Sean Connery. A deep, older leading man. A wise father.
Many of these women, especially the really YOUNG women I saw who were hyperventilating over Cheney, may not have not had good fatherly examples. We live in a nation of absent men, really. Feminism teaches women that men are jerks and not to be relied upon. Women cannot only “have it all,” but must also “do it all.” If their fathers are home or around, they’ve probably been emasculated by the older women in the house, if national television programming has not done the discrediting job first.
Cheney’s the good father behind Bush, the impetuous son. Cheney’s the reassuring, supportive, strong male not only to the president, but to the entire nation now. He tells us war is noble and necessary, and that everything will be okay, and we can still have endless tax cuts and deficits and the lights will somehow still stay on, the bills will all get paid and on time.
Cheney tells us we are loved.
Who’s your daddy?
Now we know! He’s that big, white-white balding buy wearing the spectacles.
Touched by Dick Cheney? Then you know love, and trust, and sex, and desire, and…oh…blechhhhh!
This might help a little to explain for you puzzled FReepers why so many women on FR feel about this man the way we do. Her perspective is a joke, but I do think that her explanation for the psychology of the sex appeal of "that big, white, balding guy wearing the spectacles" has some validity.
If some of you could send this to the OMGIIHIHOIIC ping list, I would be grateful. This should heat up the discussion!!
And my husband laughed at me when I told him Cheney was hot! I see I'm not alone. ;-)
You are most definitely not alone. Now you know why you think he's so hot. Aren't you glad you understand?
I am proud to be the founder of the Cheney Chicks! I was absolutely correct about this guy! HA!
Found an older girl who likes younger guys.
=) I'm not threatened.
Cheney is different, and even more powerful an archetype. Cheney is everybody´s father, in a nation that has lost, through feminism, its sense of men being strong, in control, taking care of things, being...well...MANLY. He´s like...well, Sean Connery comes to mind. But not James Bond. The older Sean Connery. A deep, older leading man. A wise father.
Take THAT Senator Leahy...lol
Go Cheney Go!
A lot of things come to mind when thinking of Cheney, but "pompous" and "know-it-all" aren't among them. "Manly" definitely is. Out of the presidential debates, the Cheney-Edwards debate was my favorite because of Cheney. What a MAN. Serene, sedate, wise, and strong. And sexy? Yeah, I can see that! What's really fascinating is that this liberal babe GOT IT! After the debate with Edwards, when Cheney so adroitly wiped and waxed the floor with him, I told my mom: "I love Dubya, but Cheney walks on water." This article confirms my observation!
Also hot and sexy.....
http://www.aljazeerah.info/Opinion%20editorials/2004%20opinions/July/17%20o/Dump%20Cheney%20Cause%20for%20Pause,%20Sarah%20Whalen.htm
"...A recent Newsweek poll indicates that the Kerry/Edwards ticket would beat Bush/Cheney by 51% to 45%, with a 4% margin or error. But the same poll shows that a Bush/Powell ticket would win over Kerry/Edwards by 53% to 44%, while a Bush/McCain ticket would win by 49% to 47%.
Gosh, choosing winning candidates with whom voters strongly identify would give Bush and the Republicans not just a win, but the significant moral boost the Republican party will need in upcoming political races, but that would mean “breaking up the team.”
More than a few Republicans would like to see Cheney go. Persistent issues of his precarious health aside, Cheney’s approval ratings have plummeted.
...these two things, American hearts and minds, and international good will, are inextricably intertwined. But getting both back means “breaking up the team.” ...
Dump Cheney? The only real question is, when? In time for the Republicans to win, and to save what the party stands for.
(Sarah Whalen is an expert in Islamic law and taught law at Loyola University School of Law in New Orleans, Louisiana.) "
Big Cheney ping!
I love it.
Leahy? Oh…blechhhhh!
Yes, that was great. When asked who won the VP debate, Ann Coulter responded, "Oh, Vice President Cheney beat Senator Edwards about the head."
This is a fabulous post!
Anyone have the LA ping list?
HAHA! I bet it is the same person. Hilarious! Cheney makes a convert!
PING
**And my husband laughed at me when I told him Cheney was hot! I see I'm not alone. ;-)**
You are most certainly not alone in this
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