Court: Parents May Spank

ctnow.com (Hartford Courant) ^ | November 30, 2004 | COLIN POITRAS

[kidd]

Parents who spank their children as a form of discipline are not necessarily engaging in child abuse, even when they use a belt and leave a bruise, the state Appellate Court has said.

In a ruling released Monday, the judges recognized a parent's right to use "reasonable physical force" to discipline a child. They said that, before citing someone for physical abuse, the Department of Children and Families must take into account the circumstances surrounding the use of corporal punishment.

The judges said the agency's position that any non-accidental injury caused by a parent to a child qualifies as abuse is too narrow and in conflict with state law that allows "reasonable" corporal punishment of a child.

[lepton]

I think you missed my point, which had to do with the subjectivity of what's appropriate corporal punishment.

Subjectivity has bounds. While the differences between automobile types might be subtle, one should never confuse an Oldsmobile with a kangaroo.

[Corin Stormhands]

IMHO, a lot more parental dicipline is required to immediately, but calmly remove the child from the shopping mall and take him or her home, where the kid will (a) spend the rest of the afternoon in his or room without toys, books, games, TV, radio, stuffed animals etc., and (b) receive a firm lecture explaining exactly why he was suddenly removed from the shopping mall, how he ruined the day for everyone, and how he lost the oppurtunity in the near future to recieve treats, watch his favorite Barney tape, and go to cousin Steve's birthday party all because he couldn't behave in the mall.

I want some of what you're smokin'. Or some of what you're givin' the kid...

And trust me, I know what I'm talking about. My oldest did not enter a grocery store between the ages of three and six.

[lepton]

Is it OK to spank the mentally ill or retarded?

In CT it is specifically legal, especially if it is to ensure their safety or the safety of others. Reasonable, necessary force to achieve this.

[momf]

I have a "Compassionate conservative" sister. She's a liberal but can't recognize it...has masters in Sociology. I hung up when she would interrupt our phone conversation to explain to her 2 yr old why she should not be dialing and talking on the extension....told her to call me back when they grew up. The child is an adult now. Just the same. I would rather swat once on the behind than spend 10 minutes trying to explain to a child to young to understand why that behavior is unacceptable.

[MaineRepublic]

With regard to behavior and discipline.

Tell me that it was not obvious that that is what I meant when I referred to not believing that "every child is different".

[Nataku X]

OMGROTFL

[TigerTale]

I've got two very well-behaved kids

Are they both girls?

[MaineRepublic]

I will tell you the truth. My son is a lot more work than my daughter. All I have to do is look at my daughter diapprovingly and she will break into tears. I have to be a Drill Sergeant with my son, and I've actually trained him to stand at attention and respond with "Yes Sir." when I am disciplining him. He's 4 years old.

[PayNoAttentionManBehindCurtain]

Sensible post.

Becky

[Celtic Rose]

I don't believe the old "every child is different" argument. The child is different because they were allowed to get that way from lack of discipline at the necessary points in their development

That is absolutely not true. Some children don't need anything more than the "i'm disappointed in you" speech to straighten out. I know because I was one of them. My brother on the other hand wouldn't have cared if my parents had said that, he'd probably laugh at them and start talking back. Kids personalities are very different. I was spanked when I was little, and I turned out just fine, and my parents are far from trash

[TalonDJ]

With regard to behavior and discipline. Tell me that it was not obvious that that is what I meant when I referred to not believing that "every child is different".

I would have to diagram that sentence to follow what it means and even then I am not sure what you meant for it to mean...
The impression you gave was clear that you think all kids can be raised by the same formula and that you don't believe in anything else. Since that matches with everything else you have said it seems like the right conclusion.

[lepton]

I don't believe the old "every child is different" argument. The child is different because they were allowed to get that way from lack of discipline at the necessary points in their development.

Perhaps you need to become acquainted with developmental biology. One of the fascinating things about how we grow is how many variants there are to the details of how we are wired, and the exact sequences in which physical development of the brain parallels learning certain types of things at certain times. In the end, many of these structural differences are over-ridden, but during infancy and adolescence they are quite substantial in HOW we learn things.

Are you aware, for example, that language and speaking and reading are all wired into the brain by different means? That is why one very smart child may be virtually unable to speak until five or six, and yet has a huge vocabulary. Likewise with reading: It's not simply a matter of general intelligence, but some children are not wired in a way that it is even POSSIBLE for them to learn to read before age six, while others are ready at two.

As a strong tendency, boys learn in different ways than girls. Girls tend to talk more than boys, not through environment, but because of the way they are wired. Boys tend more towards use of vocalization sounds to express ideas than girls do, rather than discrete words.

Now, there are some feedback effects of activities on brain structure, for example teaching boys to play a musical instrument before age six tends to make their brain more parallel than a typical boys brain.

But even aside from basic potential, and personality, there are physiological differences, even in twins. To say otherwise is simply ignorant - like the scientists that were astounded to learn after years of study that boys and girls really ARE different. One can look at the brains alone and usually be able to identify which sex the brain is from, and how old it is.

[MaineRepublic]

I hear you, but I have heard "that wouldn't work with my son" from people I know who haven't done a thing to discipline their kid. Of course it wouldn't work now, because you would need to be doing it from the moment they could crawl.

[Serb5150]

Excellent example of how a lack of discipline can really cripple a kid for life.

[Dustbunny]

Geeze, it is about time a court used some common sense making a ruling.

[momf]

Who was I insulting?

You STILL don't get it????? You called everyone here that spanks their kids 'trash' and you called the parents of everyone who was spanked growing up trash. Do you REALLY not see that as insulting? That is not an 'abrasive conversation starter'. That is serious insult.

I really think this poster deserves the silent treatment. It seems apparent that baiting is their form of entertainment.

[TalonDJ]

That MIGHT be true. Or you could be mistaking "that wouldn't work with my son" with "that DIDN'T work with my son". There is a significant difference.

[momf]

Who was I insulting?

You STILL don't get it????? You called everyone here that spanks their kids 'trash' and you called the parents of everyone who was spanked growing up trash. Do you REALLY not see that as insulting? That is not an 'abrasive conversation starter'. That is serious insult.

I really think this poster deserves the silent treatment. It seems apparent that baiting is their form of entertainment.

[TalonDJ]

A nice run down. I got the short version from my brother one time.
He told me "Girls really are different than boys."
I said, "What makes you say that?"
He said, "Well she plays 'army' with her older brothers but after she 'shoots' them she gives them a big hug."

[trubluolyguy]

You...you mean I can spank my unruly child? Oh thank you so VERY much for allowing me the "priviliedge" of being a good parent. Thank the Gods of american jurisprudence...I kiss your feet, I kneel at your side oh great and merciful ones.....

A@@HOLES