Court: Parents May Spank

ctnow.com (Hartford Courant) ^ | November 30, 2004 | COLIN POITRAS

[kidd]

Parents who spank their children as a form of discipline are not necessarily engaging in child abuse, even when they use a belt and leave a bruise, the state Appellate Court has said.

In a ruling released Monday, the judges recognized a parent's right to use "reasonable physical force" to discipline a child. They said that, before citing someone for physical abuse, the Department of Children and Families must take into account the circumstances surrounding the use of corporal punishment.

The judges said the agency's position that any non-accidental injury caused by a parent to a child qualifies as abuse is too narrow and in conflict with state law that allows "reasonable" corporal punishment of a child.

[TXBubba]

Liberal Troll

[TexasTransplant]

Until I was about eight, the only way to get my attention was about a dozen welts on my bare a$$, then Mom shifted to "Go cut me a switch!" if I refused I had to give up my pocket knife (My Dad said that is why he gave it to me, so I would have to cut my own switches), It was just something that got me to thinking, (that pocket knife was my most prized possession) then the switch became unnecessary because the folks let me overhear them that I was becoming such a responsible young man that switching wasn't necessary, after that I didn't want to lose that respect.
For me it was the proper progression.
Now all of that being said... No one should tell a Parent "You MUST Spank your kids" and No one should tell a Parent that "You CAN"T Spank your kids"

[blurb]

OK, quickie poll:

Please say Aye if you are conservative (i.e., voted for Bush, religious, against abortion, etc.) but you don't believe spanking is a very effective or humane method of discipline.

[TalonDJ]

I don't believe the old "every child is different" argument.

Well I think I will stop believing in gravity, maybe then I can flap my arms and fly to the moon. Yeah that was sarcasm. Wait, do you REALLY think all children are alike and can be raised identically? You really think that? Pardon me if I sound disbelieving.

[lepton]

I had a friend with a daughter that figured out her mother would not use physical force on her, at age three. The mother'd read all of the parenting books and tried to follow the advice. From that point on, she would simply ignore her mothers punishments. Her mother sent her to her room, she would leave. Her mother turned off the TV, she would walk into another room to turn that one on. Her mother sent her to her room without dinner, she would raid the pantry. She was smart enough to figure out that there are other options once she was willing to use the force.

They would always be screaming at each other, and her mother viewed spanking as cruel. Her mother went off to AT when the girl was 6, and the girl was left in my charge - but for some reason agreed that I could spank her. The girl refused punishments, and was physically placed in the corner. Each attempt to leave the corner was met with a spanking. This went on for about two hours, when the girl finally decided she'd stay in the corner.

Things were peaceful for a while, when it started again, but this time it took only two rounds before she relented.

She was perfectly behaved the rest of the two weeks, except for one other time having to be sent into the corner.

We went through this every year for three years, but it was less each time.

I think spanking her was far less cruel than the constant hysterical fighting. The girl was smart enough to realize that she could simply bull her way past her parents ploys and attempts at manipulation, and required definitive action that she could not get around.

Oh...and today, she likes me, and respects me, and is completely contemptuous of her mother. I didn't traumatize her. I showed her that she has to show respect, and that HER use of force would not win all battles.

Child come in all types, but the exact discipline must be tailored to the individual.

[TXBubba]

Give it up. It's a liberal troll.

[TalonDJ]

Who was I insulting?

You STILL don't get it????? You called everyone here that spanks their kids 'trash' and you called the parents of everyone who was spanked growing up trash. Do you REALLY not see that as insulting? That is not an 'abrasive conversation starter'. That is serious insult.

[Sloth]

So please don't stereotype those of us who think that spanking your kids equates to lazy parenting.

LOL, what incredible hypocrisy.

[Corin Stormhands]

Any parent who spanks their child.

There is a difference between responsible parenting which includes spanking and child abuse.

Responsible parents know the difference.

[TalonDJ]

Your right, sorry. Somethings I don't know when to stop. They really will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

[TXBubba]

Well, I was giving the benefit of the doubt until the "all children are alike" remark. That is about as liberal as one can get. Gotta go now and pick up my unique individual wonderful son.

[Labyrinthos]

Almost all my friends are conservative and most of them disagree with spanking as a discipline tool.

I concur and I'm by no means a liberal. If for, example, your three year old throws a temper tantrum in the shopping mall because you won't buy the kid a toy, the easiest response other than buying the toy is to smack the kid on the butt. IMHO, a lot more parental dicipline is required to immediately, but calmly remove the child from the shopping mall and take him or her home, where the kid will (a) spend the rest of the afternoon in his or room without toys, books, games, TV, radio, stuffed animals etc., and (b) receive a firm lecture explaining exactly why he was suddenly removed from the shopping mall, how he ruined the day for everyone, and how he lost the oppurtunity in the near future to recieve treats, watch his favorite Barney tape, and go to cousin Steve's birthday party all because he couldn't behave in the mall.

[add925]

This ruling should make all liberals very happy...the've been spanking their monkeys for decades.

Oh wait....spank their children....never mind.

[AnAmericanMother]

I don't believe the old "every child is different" argument.

Now you're letting your enthusiasm for argument overwhelm your common sense.

If children weren't different, they would all eat the same foods, play with the same toys, have the same interests, go to the same schools, and make the same grades. Shades of Madeleine l'Engle's Camazotz!

[TXBubba]

Okay, before I go. How about your three year old throws a tantrum because they don't get the seat in the food court that they want? Should you give in to them or discipline them? Should they already know this when they get there? How would you have taught this situation at home? Sorry, will have to read the response later.

[momf]

When I spank my two year old, he only cries more. How do you do it?

I'm not Txbubba, but, when our oldest got spanked and cried louder, I'd give him one minute to cry then he was banned to his room until I called him.

You have to mean what you say, and don't keep saying it. Say it once, do it the second time you feel you should say it. Kinda like GWB. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

[lepton]

Why do people on this forum get *so* defensive and up in arms at the heretical suggestion that just maybe, spanking and hitting (same thing) are not the optimal way to discipline children? Is it really that hard to put down the defensiveness for a moment to think about the issue rationally and reasonably?

A rational evaluation suggests that a blanket pronouncement against spankings is profoundly ignorant, and probably stupid (and please understand that I do not say that casually, or without specific thought). It may well be that a certain child does not need spankings...ever (there certainly are such children). But there are children that simply do not get it if there is not physical painful contact - then one day, the light will come on, and it will be no longer necessary. In some cases, it is physiological.

[Labyrinthos]

But I got your attention.

[AnAmericanMother]

Yep, my son is cut from the same mold. Physical reinforcement was necessary when he was a toddler - not necessarily spanking alone, but holding him by the shoulders and looking him straight in the eye to tell him "you will NOT let go my hand and run out into the street!" If you tried to reason with him at age 3 you were wasting your time, he either wouldn't or couldn't understand.