The scary Them 
or just a 30 ft giant ant 
?
Posted on 11/30/2004 10:24:25 AM PST by Chi-townChief
Real conspiracy theorists never admit they're wrong. No matter how many facts and bits of logic you throw at them, they'll always say, "That's all well and good, but you haven't proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm wrong. Why can't you produce concrete evidence that the Loch Ness Monster doesn't exist?"
Well, because it's a little tough to prove a negative.
If Lee Harvey Oswald materialized from the beyond, knocked on the door of the JFK Assassination Conspiracy Headquarters and said, "I want you to know that I acted alone," the typical JFK conspiracy theorist would say: "Thank you for proving my point, oh spirit of Lee Harvey. See that, everyone? Obviously this Oswald ghost is being manipulated by the ghosts of J. Edgar Hoover, Sam Giancana and Lyndon B. Johnson. He's afraid to come right out and speak the truth, but he was sending a secret message to me by winking in Morse code. The man is just a ghostly patsy!"
To this day, there are people who believe the moon landings were faked, Elvis is alive and in hiding, Vince Foster was murdered and the Pentagon was not struck by a plane on 9/11.
The medical term for such a person is "bonehead," pronounced, "bonehead."
Bush only THINKS he won
I don't believe the 2004 election conspiracy theorists are dumb or delusional -- but I do think their passion is misguided.
It's been a month since the election, but every day my e-mailbox continues to fill up with messages from anti-GOPers.
"Is there any reason why voting irregularities are not being reported on, only 3 weeks after the election? Please let me know if you support democracy ..."
"The mainstream media continues its blackout of coverage regarding voting irregularities in Florida and Ohio ..."
"It is possible John Kerry could be sworn in as POTUS. ... To beat election fraud, the press (that is YOU) have to report on it ..."
"An open letter to the media: Please do your job and report on the vote fraud that occurred in Ohio and Florida ..."
I share only the first few lines of these e-mails with you, because to reproduce them in full would be to fill up the entire newspaper. (A woman from Ohio recently sent out a conspiracy theory e-mail that ran more than 3,000 words. I think it's safe to say that with a margin of error of plus or minus 3 points, approximately zero percent of recipients actually made it to the end of the essay.)
Often the e-mails provide links to Web sites and blogs claiming that John Kerry might have won Ohio and Florida.
What, no Texas?
Like most conspiracy theories, the allegations of massive election-changing voter fraud and computer error in the election contain a sprinkling of facts, erroneous interpretations of statistics, paranoid speculation passed off as scientific analysis, and loads of assertions that are just wrong.
Here's a classic example.
In Florida, some two dozen counties that went to Bush are dominated by registered Democrats. Consider Lafayette County, Fla., where more than 80 percent of residents are registered Democrats -- but 74 percent of the vote went to Bush. In Holmes County, Fla., almost 75 percent of registered voters are Democrats, but Bush beat Kerry by a 6-1 margin.
How can this be?
In the counties in question, most of the registered Democrats have been voting Republican in national elections for decades. They just haven't officially switched party affiliations. Bush won those same counties by large margins over Gore in 2000.
All right, then how about the suburb of Columbus, Ohio, where Bush was reported to have won 4,258 to 260, even though only 638 ballots were actually cast? And what about the 76,000 punch cards in Ohio where no vote for president was recorded?
In the first case, the overcount for Bush was the result of an apparent computer glitch. It was quickly corrected, and the "extra" votes were not in the final tally.
As for the phantom punch cards: some people actually didn't vote for president, but voted in other races. You're allowed to do that, you know. Others mistakenly voted for both candidates, negating their ballot.
And how do we know those double-dippers didn't really intend to vote for Bush?
For every theory out there, I could provide debunking ammo, or I could direct you to debunking stories from the Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Boston Globe and other news organizations. But it wouldn't sway the true conspiracy theorist. He would counter with a debunker-debunking blog, or claim the debunking articles prove there's a "media blackout" on voter irregularity stories.
Funny though. I thought we were the "elite liberal media," acting in concert. If we're the elite liberal media, why are we conspiring with the White House to ensure George Bush's fraudulent re-election?
I hate it when conspiracy theories collide like that.
"Ebert & Roeper" airs at 10:35 p.m. Saturday and 10:30 a.m. Sunday on WLS-Channel 7.
contain a sprinkling of facts, erroneous interpretations of statistics, paranoid speculation passed off as scientific analysis, and loads of assertions that are just wrong
Heck, we do that sometimes too.
The scary Them or just a 30 ft giant ant ?
How can this be?
The answer is so simple:
Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the Metric System down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Altantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!
PS.. y'all better wrap that tinfoil tighter.... we have more powerful mind control rays now.
My Vince Foster theory is that he whacked himself in one of safe houses that the White House uses when they want to meet people on the sly.
Then, after they found the body, some moron decided they didn't want to burn the location of the safe house, so they moved the body to Ft. Marcy park.
LOL
Ohoh. We better keep this article away from the DUer's it may cause them to up their dosage of medication.
It would be good of the MSM to take on election fraud, starting with registration procedures that eliminate multiple registrations, requirements for photo-ids, reliable voting media that leave a paper audit trail, and so forth.
"He drove to Ft. Marcy park with a hole in his head and traveled 50 yards without leaving any footprints to where he fell over and shot himself again with a pistol no one has been able to trace while leaving no powder burns."
Darn it! I knew there must have been a good reason it was ruled a suicide. Oh yeah, and thank goodness they were able to discredit that crazy Patrick Knowlton who had no idea what he was talking about - right?
STOCK TIP: Buy Alcoa
That was a great album - featuring Van Morrison, no less.
Actually a fairly decent read.
He said that it was odd how there is more oversight on the slot machines in Vegas than there are on the election ballots. He did not dispute the results of the election but he did say that he was sickened by the statement that the count was "around" some number.
If we had security cameras IN the polls monitoring the voters AND the poll workers (hey, we need them to keep an eye on the people inspecting our bags at the airports, they'd rob us blind otherwise), asked for photo ID from every voter (you have to be 21 to gamble in Vegas and you CAN be carded), didn't allow provisional paper ballots (many of the Ohio voters were not registered to vote), did not allow foreign language paper ballots, etc. (the more "alternate" ballot systems you offer, the more you compromise the accuracy and security of the total), then you would be well on the way to being able to have "Vegas type" oversight of the elections.
The dirty secret is that Democrats fight such measures because (A) they have crooked poll workers who will poke out "extra" ballots to help their candidates and (B) they have illegal voters who will vote multiple times on election day or at least assume the identity of a dead or absent voter if they themselves are not permitted to vote (non-citizen/felon).
That's plausible.
That is, unless he knew them to be lies and printed them ANYWAY.
It is interesting that people "vote" via lotto machines -- millions every week -- and there are so few charges of fraud or incompetence. One key might be that lotto machines print a ticket with a serial number, date, time, and validation number.
Crooked voters/officials need to be stopped from permitting ballots that are "genuinely" counted yet granted for false purposes.
Also the penalties for those who cheat at Lotto are higher than for those who cheat at politics. Few ballot stuffers are prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Sounds reasonable to me!!! I saw a comedian do a routine many years ago which began with his reminding the audience, "I don't make this stuff up folks, it comes right out of the newspapers". He then related a story about a coroner in Texas making a finding of suicide in a case of a man who was shot five times in the chest with a SINGLE SHOT 22 caliber rifle. He did a deadpan routine on what is involved in doing this and had me rolling in the floor. He ended by saying, " to shoot yourself five times in the chest with a 22 caliber single shot rifle requires a degree of dedication devoutly to be admired".
Also, funny how Roeper disses conspiracy theories as his partner Ebert has long felt that Dubya stole the 2000 election.
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