Posted on 11/25/2004 8:24:44 PM PST by InvisibleChurch
"What should I do if I suspect my turkey was murdered?"
"Can you help me and my friends settle a turkey-related wager?"
"How can I break into the exciting field of poultry consultation?"
"Where can I find my turkey's serial number?"
"When I die, will I meet my turkey in heaven?"
"What if my turkey coughs?"
"What are your qualifications for giving turkey advice?"
Top Ten Questions Recieved By The Butterball Turkey Hotline
10. "If I put my phone in the turkey, can you tell me if it's done?"
9. "How can I be sure it's dead?"
8. "Transfer me to the gravy department."
7. "Given the current market, am I better off renting a turkey?"
6. "Can I buy an extended warranty for my turkey?"
5. "I've never cooked a turkey before--is it like cooking a raccoon?"
4. "When will the 2005 models be released?"
3. "Did you know your telephone number is one off from the gutterball bowling hotline?"
2. "What's the best kind of stuffing to shoot from a cannon?"
1. "Martha here--how big a turkey should I get for 1,500 hungry female cons?"
(Anybody else seen the Mr. Bean Christmas Dinner episode?)
Les Nessman -
"Oh! The humanity"
And my personal favorite -
"They're hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement"
Herb Tarlek, General Sales Manager: He did that to me 20 times, and then I got smart!
This year hurricane Ivan flattened the place mentioned in the article.
agreed!
Johnny Fever?
Booger!
One of the funniest I remember.
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