Posted on 11/25/2004 8:24:44 PM PST by InvisibleChurch
"What should I do if I suspect my turkey was murdered?"
"Can you help me and my friends settle a turkey-related wager?"
"How can I break into the exciting field of poultry consultation?"
"Where can I find my turkey's serial number?"
"When I die, will I meet my turkey in heaven?"
"What if my turkey coughs?"
"What are your qualifications for giving turkey advice?"
Top Ten Questions Recieved By The Butterball Turkey Hotline
10. "If I put my phone in the turkey, can you tell me if it's done?"
9. "How can I be sure it's dead?"
8. "Transfer me to the gravy department."
7. "Given the current market, am I better off renting a turkey?"
6. "Can I buy an extended warranty for my turkey?"
5. "I've never cooked a turkey before--is it like cooking a raccoon?"
4. "When will the 2005 models be released?"
3. "Did you know your telephone number is one off from the gutterball bowling hotline?"
2. "What's the best kind of stuffing to shoot from a cannon?"
1. "Martha here--how big a turkey should I get for 1,500 hungry female cons?"
turkey contains an amino acid, tryptophan, which is a precursor to serotonin, a neuroconductor, which helps induce calm, sleepiness, etc. good bed time snack, turkey.
First will come the overthrow of Greece, then the fall of Turkey, and finally the breakup of China.
Yeah, it lasted 11 months! *LOL*
...actually, we had ours early this year, because I work for a newspaper group and advertising sales are massive in the run up to Christmas, and we have staff who live all over the country (Ireland)...so this was the only night we could get everyone together, without the collective hangover bringing the company to a standstill. (Happily, I've a day off tomorrow/today)
Your fellow FReepers are more interested in the 'how was the pork' portion of the party.
.....waiting......
First 'Hungary', IIRC.
Yeah, but in general they're not very good.
Pardon?
The issue of Greece is rather slippery. We're abreast of the situation in Turkey, although I detect some cracks in China.
WOW! I never knew there was a scientific reason for it.
I just figured after all the running around, preparation, serving, and being general 'hostess with the mostess', I was just knackered!!!
Yes, that was a great episode also. But the turkey one is still my fav. I had the audio of Les Nessman's (winner of the coveted Silver Sow Award) report from the shopping mall, but can't find it now.
I also liked the episode when Herb made the ducks dance by using a hot plate for the dancefloor.
A great sitcom.
Which reminds me. When I first started listening to Rush when he first went national (and having never seen a picture of him) I saw him in my mind's eye as Johnnie Fever.
everyone knows there is so much work to to on Thanksgiving day we are too tired to have pork also!
"They're hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement." This is one of the all time funnys. According to Quinn on Pittsburgh's 104.7 this was actually taken from a real incident that happened in Colorado.
Happy turkey Holucast Day (Thank you peta).
Murder a turkey for Jesus.
Turkey is high in the amino acid Tryptophan which helps induce sleep.
thanks for reminding me of that episode!
I tossed my mullett in 1991. Business up front, party in the back.
It seems they forgot to butter the balls.
Yeah, should be okay. Probably took a nap. Tom will be nice and fresh in the morning.
If one is infected with 'Howard Dean-itis,' this may be a cure.
And, with that answer, your screen name should be RipVanWinkle instead of bperiwinkle7. ;-)
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