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Church newsletters from all over
National Review ^ | Nov 29, 2004 | Rob Long

Posted on 11/20/2004 11:44:48 AM PST by oldtimer2

Watch for this to happen at a lot of places. The liberals are frantically trying to get values where ever they can.

The next four years will give many chances for humor.

LOL


TOPICS: Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: hillary; liberaldems; religion
Church Newsletters From All Over

From "Light the Lamp!": The monthly newsletter of the Holy Flame Pentecostal Church of Little Rock, Ark.

We welcome back to the area Senator Hillary Clinton (D., N.Y.), who has been spending so much time here in Little Rock lately that she's practically joined the church choir! "I'm here spending time at my husband's library," she told the Lamp when we caught up with her after a Sunday camp meeting, "and of course, I always take time to worship God in as evangelical a way as is feasible, given time and location constraints. As you know, I consider myself an evangelical Christian, really a Christian conservative, if you want to know the truth, so it's nice to be 'home' again in the South, which I really consider my quote-unquote home even though I live in New York most of the time. Well, Washington, D.C., most of the time, actually, but if I'm not there I'm in New York, of course, but always thinking about being here, in the South, my spiritual home, where I shared so many wonderful evangelical . . . moments and . . . events. Can you read that back to me?"

The "Light the Lamp!" staff would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Christ loves all of us equally, and that God's house is open to all, even to senators from New York, so whoever is muttering stuff and saying mean things while pretending to cough can just quit it right now.

From "Sing Out!": The official blog of the Church of the Redeemer in Blaine, Mo.

Tuesday night's Bible Study class was touched by stardust this week, when who dropped in but Senator Hillary Clinton (D., N.Y.), who told the surprised but warmly welcoming study group that she was just passing through (maybe going to the big Democrat shindig in St. Joe??) when she was suddenly struck with wondering about Jesus' description of the "narrow door" (Luke, 13th chapter) and wanted to find a group of "fellow Bible-believing Christians" who might share her spiritual search. Truth be told, there was some grumbling in the group, as Tuesday night's topic was supposed to be Jesus and the South Beach Diet, but all were gracious and full of fellowship . . . also, the senator brought Cinnabons! It was a great night overall, and as she left, the senator thanked each and every one of the study groupies, as we call ourselves, for "taking in this lost lamb and helping her see the way," and she reminded us that it's awfully hard for a Bible-centered Christian conservative like her to serve in the Senate, which sort of puzzled some of us — who kept remembering her doing this and saying that and that and that and doing this and this and this — and with a wave she stepped into her limo and zoomed off! It was like Oscar night!

From "Many Sheaves": The Christmas appeal letter of the Precious Lamb Roman Catholic Church in Santa Fe, N.M.

Thanks go out to Senator Hillary Clinton (D., N.Y.) for the wonderful lemon pound cakes she sent along for our holiday bake sale. She writes in to "Many Sheaves": "As I'm sure your parishioners remember, I often stopped by the Precious Lamb Roman Catholic Church whenever I was in Santa Fe. It was a wonderful place to worship and contemplate God's infinite majesty, and I was often struck, as I sat in your beautiful church, by how infallible the Pope really is. Just a wonderful, infallible person. Best of luck with your Christmas appeal! And remember, the Pope really is tops with me!"

From the official program of the monthly baptism ceremony of the Come to Christ Baptist Church, Medford, Ohio.

Receiving Christ today in holy baptism, we're honored to have some newcomers to the C2C community. We know there's some in the church who aren't too pleased to celebrate some of these folks' coming to the Lord, but as He taught us, judgment is for the Father. Our calling is to welcome these folks into the fellowship of Christ. We'll be gathering at the river bank to celebrate the baptisms of Senator Hillary Clinton (D., N.Y.), Senator John Edwards (D., N.C.), Governor Bill Richardson (D., N.M.), and Senator Evan Bayh (D., Ind.). Originally, it was just going to be a small ceremony with Senator Clinton and her film crew, but I guess word got out! The power of God's love really seems to be sweeping the Democratic party! Hallelujah!

1 posted on 11/20/2004 11:44:48 AM PST by oldtimer2
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To: oldtimer2

I think I'm going to be ill.

But, oh, what a hoot! Good writing, whoever you are! I'm glad you're on OUR side!


2 posted on 11/20/2004 11:53:01 AM PST by TexasGreg ("Democrats Piss Me Off")
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To: oldtimer2
The "Light the Lamp!" staff would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Christ loves all of us equally, and that God's house is open to all, even to senators from New York, so whoever is muttering stuff and saying mean things while pretending to cough can just quit it right now.

I'd be out of THIS church like a shot.

3 posted on 11/20/2004 11:54:24 AM PST by atomicpossum (I am the Cat that walks by himself, and all places are alike to me.)
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To: oldtimer2

I knew this was going to happen!! Hildebeast has gatten religion. Let's ask he to lead the way to reverse ROE v WADE!!, Ban Homosexuality, Ban Same Sex Marriage !! .....

OUR HERROINE -- OUR SAVIOUR HAS ARRIVED !!!

THIS LYING PIG CANNOT BE TRUSTED, DAMN HER LYING HEART !!


4 posted on 11/20/2004 12:01:52 PM PST by 26lemoncharlie (Defending America)
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To: oldtimer2

Matthew 7:15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.


5 posted on 11/20/2004 12:07:54 PM PST by Search4Truth (When a man lies he murders some part of the world.)
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To: oldtimer2
Enjoyed the humor but if this were a real church it would not be a Pentecostal Church! The Pentecostals are very value oriented and most conservative! If there are Pentecostals on this page they will be offended that you placed Hillary in their midst! :-)
6 posted on 11/20/2004 1:06:57 PM PST by BlessedAmerican (Pray for our President and those who are fighting to preserve our freedom!)
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To: oldtimer2
LOL !!!
Please somebody direct her to my Scot-Irish cousin's Serpent waving, and talking in tongues Revival Services.
(might PO the snakes though, he!! she might even get hoisted up and waved)
7 posted on 11/20/2004 1:13:00 PM PST by investigateworld (( ......Hey Kerry, how did you like them apples?....))
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