Help lines hear Thanksgiving horror tales

modbee ^ | 11-19-04

[LouAvul]

..........snip............

Mary Clingman serves as director of the Butterball Turkey Talk Line in Downers Grove, Ill. It expects to take more than 100,000 inquiries through Christmas.

Some past callers stand out.

"We got a call from a guy last year whose turkey wouldn't fit in his pan. He wrapped it in a towel and stomped on it until it did," Clingman said.

Another caller cut a turkey in half with a chain saw, then worried that oil on the saw might have transferred onto the turkey. A woman in Colorado who left her turkey outside to keep it frozen realized she couldn't find it when more snow fell.

And one phone call began: "You don't know anything about kitty litter, do you?" Clingman said a woman called after her husband poured kitty litter on the bottom of a new grill in hopes of absorbing drippings. Fortunately, the grill hadn't been lit yet, so the turkey was pulled off and cooked more conventionally, she said.

Kathy Bernard with the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Meat and Poultry Hotline in Beltsville, Md., said a caller last year wanted to make her bird inside a roasting bag, but didn't have one, so had improvised.

"She pulled a dry cleaning bag off her husband's suit, and it melted onto the bird," Bernard said.

[homemom]

RE: Your MIL--eewwww. I see why YOU cook and I'm sure your whole family is greatful!

Sounds like you cook like my mom--lost of yummy stuff. Do you put lots of butter, along iwht sour cream and cream cheese into your mashed potatoes?

She's made the exact same things for T-givng ever since I can remember. ALWAYS tastes sooooooo good!!! THis year we won't be there . . . sniff . . .

[homemom]

LOL!

[MamaLucci]

ROFL!
So YOU'RE the reason for the goofy "Do NOT Microwave"
warning on the Bondo label......;)

[EmilyGeiger]

LOL your MIL sounds like my husband's stepmom. :) Everything she cooks is microwave friendly or prewrapped. My mom was a home ec teacher in her early teaching days, so it was like going from a fine restaurant to a McDonald's. Needless to say my husband opts for me to do the cooking or going to my mom's for dinner,

[notpoliticallycorewrecked]

Microwave, did you save microwave. My MIL thinks that it doubles as a refrigerator. I can't count how many time we have opened her microwave to find chicken from the night before. My husband finally had to tell her that if he found perishable food in her microwave again, he was going to take the microwave oven away from her.

Me, I want to donate her body to science. I think that she has high quantities of botulism and ptomaine antibodies in her blood stream.