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Quick Joke
Bernie Goldberg

Posted on 11/17/2004 5:42:16 PM PST by Russell.Cirincione

Hey, I read this in "Bias" by Bernie Goldberg, and it made me laugh... In a letter written to a worker at CBS news, someone wrote:

"Dear Jane;

I have a problem. I have two brothers, one brother works for a major news company on television, the other was put to death in the electric chair for murder. My mother died from insanity when I was three years old. My sisters are prostitutes, and my father sells narcotics to high school students. Recently I met a girl who was just released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death, and I love her and want to marry her.

My problem is, if I marry this girl, should I tell her about my brother who is in television?''


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: berniegoldberg; bias; cbsnews

1 posted on 11/17/2004 5:42:17 PM PST by Russell.Cirincione
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To: Russell.Cirincione

Good laugh. Thanks.


2 posted on 11/17/2004 5:49:44 PM PST by speedy
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To: Russell.Cirincione

Thanks, that is a keeper!


3 posted on 11/17/2004 5:50:02 PM PST by Zarro
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To: Russell.Cirincione

Actually, this was the actual text of Dan Rather's brother's infamous "Dear Abby" letter.


4 posted on 11/17/2004 5:50:29 PM PST by newagepublius
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To: Russell.Cirincione

That's an old joke with a million variations but I still find it pretty funny when I see it.


5 posted on 11/17/2004 5:51:54 PM PST by The Toad
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To: bad company

This is funny.......


6 posted on 11/17/2004 6:00:37 PM PST by marmar (Faith is a beautiful thing.....)
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To: Russell.Cirincione
Fishing contest

It seems that the 2004 election was so close that the ElectoralCollege vote was tied, and that Congress couldn't break the deadlock, and that the Supreme Court decided they'd better not make thedecision themselves this time.

So they sent Bush and Kerry to a frozen lake in South Dakota tohave an ice fishing contest. No one was allowed to accompany them, and they were on their honor to let the guy who caught the most fish in five days become president.

On the first day they went out in different directions. Bush cameback with ten fish. Kerry caught none.

On the second day, Bush caught twenty fish and again Kerry came back empty handed.

When Bush brought back 25 fish on day three and Kerry still hadn't caught any, Kerry got worried and telephoned Al Gore for advice.

"He's probably cheating.again," suggested Al Gore.

"I hadn't thought of that," said Kerry "You're probably right. What do we do?"

Gore suggested that instead of going fishing the next day, Kerry follow Bush to see what he was doing. At the end of day 4, Kerry called up Gore and told him, "you were right, Al, the bastard is cheating."

"What's he doing?" asked Gore.

"He's cutting holes in the ice!"

7 posted on 11/17/2004 6:15:12 PM PST by chainsaw ( ("We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." - H. Clinton))
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To: chainsaw

oh man that's hysterical


8 posted on 11/17/2004 6:39:17 PM PST by visualops (Freedom is worth fighting for, dying for and standing for: the advance of freedom leads to peace-GWB)
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To: chainsaw

laffin so hard.
thanks.


9 posted on 11/17/2004 7:54:13 PM PST by 1john2 3and4
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To: newagepublius
"Actually, this was the actual text of Dan Rather's brother's infamous "Dear Abby" letter. "

Huh? Please explain. Rather isn't even close to being funny, and I can't imagine him saying this on the air ... but set me straight if you must.

10 posted on 11/17/2004 8:01:06 PM PST by tom h
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To: chainsaw

Two guys were ice fishing and hadn't caught a thing all day. Then two guys go zooming by on snow mobiles, obviously having more fun.

"That's what we should be doing," says the first fisherman.

"What, snowmobiling?" asks the second.

"Nope," answers the first, "trolling."


11 posted on 11/17/2004 8:03:57 PM PST by gortklattu (check out thotline dot com)
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To: tom h

tom h, I was just making a joke. Actually, I have no earthly idea if Dan Rather even HAS a brother! I know that every good joke contains a degree of plausibility, but I did not think my comment would fool anybody. Sorry. :)


12 posted on 11/17/2004 8:44:45 PM PST by newagepublius
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To: gortklattu

Uh, gortklattu , I hate to sound like an imbecile (after all, I do post on other message boards), but I've seen the word "trolling" and read messages like "he's a troll" and I have no idea what these expressions mean. It certainly does not sound like it is a compliment, but what characteristics does one possess to earn "troll" status? Just curious, as I am somewhat late to ride the "Information Superhighway" and some of the lingo is above my head. Thanks.


13 posted on 11/17/2004 8:53:54 PM PST by newagepublius
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To: newagepublius

trolling: when used in fishing is when a boat travels while baited hooks or lures follow behind...

trolling: Internet use, is when somebody acts like the old trolls who bother others. An internet troll is a person who just argues to argue, or makes no sense.


14 posted on 11/17/2004 9:06:01 PM PST by gortklattu (check out thotline dot com)
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To: gortklattu
Gortklattu, LOL! I knew the fishing connotation of "trolling" (I'm from Maryland and my paternal grandmother came from a family of watermen), but I had no idea about the Internet definition. Thanks a lot.
15 posted on 11/17/2004 9:29:35 PM PST by newagepublius
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To: Russell.Cirincione

16 posted on 11/18/2004 7:07:29 AM PST by al baby (she stuned my little beeber)
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